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Yes and No at the Dolla Sto #1
So ya, the dollar store is an amazing place. We all know this in our hearts… but just how amazing?? Let’s explore it in a photo series, shall we? Once a week we’ll look at the Yes’s and the awe h no’s of the dollar store. We’ll navigate the guts out of it.
Let’s save mad loot in this cray cray economy! Let’s be “livin’ within our means” type of playas. Let’s celebrate that dollar store…And in the process maybe convert some non-believers. Game on homies.
LITTLE AMAZING CHICKLETS? F YES!
You remember these gums right? Right!? You get all the gum pictured for $1. How fun would it be to have these little gum packets EVERYWHERE? Hand em out and shiz. Whatever. No big deal.
DOG FOOD? NO!!
Your dog is straight up loyal to you and in return you’re gonna feed it some bullshiz? You can’t feed this to your dog bro! Awe h no.
Dude. I actually use this and have bought it at Ralph’s many times for $5. Do we really need to be precious about where we buy our deodorant? Heck no! I smell shower fresh. Just like it says I would.TAMPONS? NO!!!
That’s your coochie for Chr*st sakes. A baby comes out of there. Let’s not scratch it up with some sand paper tampons. Come on! THESE WEIRD BEANS? YES AND NO.
Buy these beans as a cool retro decoration for your apartment. Don’t buy them to eat… unless you consider diahrea “Double lucky”. xo brooke stone
Yes and No at the Dolla Sto #2
Saving money is important these days and the dollar store is a great place to do it. I’ll be creepin’ the dollar store aisles to get those deals and save that paper.
Just like last week- Two awesome products, two “awe h no” products and a questionable one from the kick arse dollar store.
Here we go!
TOOTHPASTE? OH MY G YES.
This is Colgate toothpaste y’all! Maximum freshness for one dollar! The $3 you saved will buy you a Happy Meal at McDonalds… Or for you healthy people- one apple at Whole Foods.
DOUCHES? BACK OFF HOMIE, NO!
Don’t squirt this up yo princess!
Our bodies clean themselves. Read below:
Like this article says- “Don’t get swayed by product- pushers who imply that you need their chemicals up your wahoo to be healthy. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ, when left alone to do her thing.” Amen sister.
Bristles? Check. Stick handle grippy thing? Check. Awesome price. Duh, Yes! Let’s do this!
While shopping I also saw a package of five. FIVE toothbrushes for a dollar. What?! Your unexpected overnight house guest forgot his or hers? BAM. Covered. Wink wink.
COTTON SWABS? NO AND I’LL TELL YOU WHY.
It’s good to clean you ears. Most people neglect them. Gross. I want to call these things “Q-tips” but they are far from that awesome product.
Sometimes, at the dollar store, you can tell why it’s a dollar. Here’s the problem I found with these bad boys- the plastic stick bends. And also the cotton buds come out in your ear. This happened to me and it was terrifying.
KITTEN CALENDAR? I MEAN, MAYBE?
Hey- if you want to go there then ya, get the calendar. Kittens are adorable. And for the love of god don’t spend more than a dollar for one of these. Kittens are kittens are kittens.
…If you don’t want to scare off potential suitors, maybe it’s best to abstain.
Baby Steps Towards Epic Fitness Victory
Cross-posted as a guest article on the Brooke Stone Lifestyle Management blog.
As a fitness professional who runs a Ninja Clubhouse (we don’t really do “gyms” at MFF), I run into a lot of folks pursuing fitness goals. We’ve developed a pretty great track record as evidenced by our testimonials and the many hot, hot, HOT humans who’ve transformed their physique while working with us.
For some folks, this journey to health and hotness is easy; their bodies respond quickly, and they have a preternatural enjoyment of physical exertion. For others, it’s a bit of an uphill climb. So what is the best path to pursuing fitness glory for those who just aren’t feeling it?
Just as many paths lead to Rome, many strategies can lead one to the promised land of “lookin’ smokin’ nekkid.” Let’s have a gander at some of our most commonly useful tools, shall we?
1) Have a WHY - In order to get yourself to actually go to the gym (or Ninja Clubhouse if you don’t dig gyms), one must know WHY one is doing it in the first place. If you’re doing it to placate someone else, or because you generally believe you’re “supposed to,” you’re probably not going to have much success. Starting any new habit requires an investment of psychic capital, and there must be a strong impetus when our lives offer so many distractions.
The first step for any would-be MFF Fitness Ninja is to discern WHY it is they are working out. Do you want to get laid at the bar? Do you want to avoid a premature death? Do you want to be more successful in your acting career?
As a side note, you’ll note that the WHYs mentioned above are hardly of the generic aspirational variety (“I just want to be my BEST SELF”). TOTALLY cool. We’ll get you there. Although eventually movement (and excellence) usually becomes an end unto itself, there’s often validity in using a visceral motivation to get the habit started.
2) Have a Plan - If you don’t have a plan to achieve your fitness goal, it’s gonna be hard to stay on track. Once you know WHY it is you’re going to make fitness a regular part of your life, we want to be specific about the goal. Burning fat and building muscle, although both useful for hotness, require different strategies. Once you know where you want to go, you need to have a map of some kind.
And if you don’t know exactly what to do, you should ASK FOR HELP. The best way to kill your newfound motivation is to waste your time wandering around a gym feeling awkward and unsure of what to do, then look back on weeks of time doing something you’re not totally enjoying and that’s not getting you results. Dear reader, should you find yourself stumped… I know a team of ridiculous humans who are serious about fitness who can probably help you out.
It will also serve you to make sure you’re choosing a realistic plan. If your workout’s success hinges on commuting 45 minutes to where ever you’re training five times a week, you may want to reconsider your plan. In the beginning, your goal is to just get the ball rolling, so make sure you’ve chosen a plan of action that’s actually gonna be doable!
3) Write It Down - One of the most oft cited tactics on the way to success is to write your goals down. It’s no coincidence that this little nugget of advice is in basically every book on success ever written. Not only will you benefit from articulating your why and clarifying your goal, but you’d be AMAZED at how effective it can be to schedule your workouts and game plan for hotness.
Yup. Put it in your calendar. Seriously. DO IT. If it’s not in there, you’re more likely to get carried away by other commitments and blow off your sexification time.
If you REALLY want to insure you follow through, you can also tell friends and have them check up on you. For many people, just knowing someone will check in profoundly increases their accountability.
This three step plan may seem somewhat simplistic because… well… it kinda is. “Simple as possible but not any simpler” is an Albert Einstein dictum that’s a guiding principle for MFF. At the beginning of the fitness journey, there will be value in merely figuring out your true motivation to get fit, finding a reasonable plan that you have confidence will get you to your goals, and then making a commitment to following through. Once you’ve started your fitness “habit,” we can start to tweak and optimize the program and start delving into the sexy stuff.
Hopefully these tips will be enough to nudge you to begin to claim the awesomeness that is your birthright. The summer is coming my friends. Let this be the year of scandalous speedo and string bikini! See you at the Clubhouse!