We need to talk about Bifur
No, but we really do, because he is actually the best dwarf of them all and we don’t seem to be appreciating that. Shame on us!
Okay, so first let us have William Kircher explain the character to us:
“I only speak in Dwarvish — It’s because of the axe. But something happens… can’t say any more. The backstory for my character is that once he was a reasonable okay guy but unfortunately he’s turned into a bit of a maniac. He’s a bit mentally challenged — only because of the axe. He’s not thick, he’s just got mental problems. He’s totally unstable and in a fight he just goes insane, especially with the trolls.”
This is something we need to keep in mind: Bifur only speaks ancient Khuzdul, which no one else in the company but Gandalf does. He has ONE speaking line in the entire movie, and we don’t even know what he said. Fucking Gandalf didn’t even have the courtesy to reply to Bifur in a language he understands.
Beautifully illustrated by shittylotrpaintdrawings
Seriously though, you can tell so much about BIfur by looking at him in the background in the movie. No joke. William Kircher is doing a FANTASTIC job in the background of most scenes, he should win some sort of award.
Okay, so like when the others dwarves are singing Blunt the knives, Bifur has NO IDEA what’s going on. BUT he is already doing the dishes when Fíli and Kíli starts throwing plates around, which leads me to believe Bifur took his plate and starting cleaning it, and Fíli and Kíli were like “oh, good, we should bring the other plates to him”. And everyone else just sung because it was funny to annoy Bilbo.
So, really, what we see here is that Bifur happily cleans up after everyone else, while they enjoy singing and throwing stuff around. Because Bifur is really sweet like that. He’s like a panda or something (I’m pretty sure pandas can kill you when they’re pissed. Like 99% sure).
Everyone else is drinking beer or whatever, and Bifur is drinking lettuce. Because apparently Bifur is a vegetarian, and that just fucking proves to me that Bifur likes everything in the world except for orcs. He’ll kill orcs and trolls with a fury, but humans, elves, dwarves, animals are the same to him. Love ya, you crazy fucker.
He also spaces out a lot. I can relate to that, because that’s how I look when people talk about shit I find uninteresting, or - as in Bifur’s case - can’t understand.
I have no idea what you’re saying Bifur, except we should walk somewhere, but I’m sure you’re right! I don’t even know who he is signing to, but we cut to Gandalf right after so I assume it’s him. Gandalf doesn’t seem to get it either…
And I’m not even sure what he’s trying to say because he can’t have understood the argument about whether Bilbo is a fitting burglar or not! I’m not even 100% Bifur understands who or what Bilbo is, but he’s just like “oh, the short guy looks funny, he should walk with us and tie a knot”.
Then after they fought off the trolls we see him giving Kíli a skull for no reason. He sort of considers giving Kíli a cup, but goes for the skull and then nods encouragingly when Kíli doesn’t like it. Kíli you little shit, Bifur is giving you a gift, appreciate it!!
LOOK at Bombur! He immediately goes to pull Bifur in, because Bifur is like “oohh, elves, cool” and doesn’t realize that elves are of course bad guys. Well, at least until they offer you food, then they’re okay. But Bifur was totally okay with them until he realized the others wanted protection: then he got his spear ready. Because you don’t mess with Bifur’s friends!
Anyway, then they go on to eat and you can’t see it in the movie, but apparently William Kircher asked for fresh flowers so that Bifur could eat those. Why would you cut that!? Luckily I found some cute fanart of it. At least we get to see him grill lettuce later on…
ALSO NOTICE HOW HE IS NOT LAUGHING. Everyone else thought it was hilarious and Bifur is just giving Bofur this look like “you shouldn’t make fun of Bombur like that, why are you laughing?”. While grilling his sallad. Bifur, we should be BFFs.
Bifur totally missed Rivendell! He is totally looking back at it, wondering why the hell they’re leaving the place with the good-tasting flowers. I’m telling you, Bifur is the only one of the dwarves who isn’t an elf-racist! I’m sure he would’ve had a great time there if they’d stayed longer.
Then we get to the part that proves that all Bifur REALLY wants is for everyone to get along and be happy. I mean, throughout the movie we do see him interact a little with other characters, but they don’t seem to ever understand him (I’m looking at you, Kíli!!!). He never laughs when anyone else laughs (not even after Blunt the knives!), he has no clue what’s going on at any point because Gandalf is the only one who can speak to him, and he has never spoken a word to Bilbo as far as we know…
AND NO ONE IS HAPPIER THAN BIFUR WHEN THORIN AND BILBO HUGS. Look at him, he is punching the air and every thing! Because the two guys are hugging, and not that he really knows why they’re hugging or why Thorin was sounding so pissed before, but he did see Bilbo saving Thorin’s ass earlier and well, now they’re hugging so all is good in the world!
Seriously, Bifur is the best. He’s a mentally challenged, vegetarian, toy-maker who totally wants everyone to get along and be happy (and to kill all orcs). He deserves all the love!
Disclaimer: So several people have pointed out that Bifur actually understand common language, but he can’t SPEAK it (which is apparently not uncommon with brain injuries). Sorry, should’ve done my research better. Doesn’t change the fact that Bifur is still the best one though.
I’ve also learned that the dwarves have a sign language called iglishmêk which is probably what Bifur is talking in the second gif. Cool stuff!