it is my boyfriend and i's 1 year anniversary and he is away at army training...here is his letter he sent me :)
“I cannot describe how amazing this last year has been, but I will give it a shot anyway.
First off, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! We made it, sunshine! 1 whole year! it seems like it was just yesterday you came by my house at bearfield and we exchanged flirtatious faces (mine was probably more of a look on constipation like usual) and we began to hit it off. What started as texts making fun of each other quickly changed into what they are today. Super gushy lovey dovey stuff, but I mean everything i say. I remember this day last year very well, I was super nervous and I had been wanting to ask you out for a while but for some reason I couldn’t find the nerve. Thankfully you stepped in and made me man up and pop da question. Ever sense then I could not be happier. You have taken me to a part of the country I would never have been able to see otherwise and you and your family welcomed me in with open arms. You make me want to live life to the fullest.
Every second I spend with you I would not trade for anything. Half of our relationship has been apart but all that does is make me love you more and appreciate you twice as much whenever i get to see you, even if it is only for a few days. This whole distance thing will finally be coming to an end. 18 days till you arrive via airplane and are greeted with the biggest bear hug known to man kind. I cannot wait.
Whenever i’m with you i constantly find myself just starting you at a loss of words. You are the most wonderful person i have ever met. You make me thrive to be a better person every day and since being with you I have become much happier with myself and who i am. You make me thrive for greatness, and greatness is all you deserve.
Well sweetheart, here’s to the past year and many more to come! As long as i am with you, i am the happiest man on the earth. You are my sunshine. I love you.
Yours forever, E”
things like this make long distance worth it. i love him.
I'm the New Kid
So, Nurse Boyfriend has been gone for nearly three weeks now. This means we still have another eight weeks (at least) apart. This explains my motivation for making a tumblr. I’ve been lonely these couple weeks and I’ve been trying to find a good place to reach out to other military girlfriends/fiancees/wives (the cool kids call them “MilSOs”) and haven’t had much luck. I’ve joined things like facebook groups, forums specifically for MilSOs and the like, but I feel like I can’t connect with anyone. I have a few theories as to why.
One. He is an officer.
I’ve come to learn that this means he has it way better than the enlisted in terms of lifestyle and what he has to do. He’s in San Antonio for BOLC (Basic Officer Leadership Course) with all the other nursing/medical guys and gals. He’s staying in a hotel, he has his phone on him and we can skype on occasion. He’ll be “in the field” for a couple weeks later on where he won’t have his phone and whatnot, but he gets weekends off. Anyways, from what I’ve found, a majority of women in these online groups I’ve found have boyfriends/fiances/husbands that are deployed. So I feel like I can’t complain about missing him when I do get to talk to him most days. But I feel that anyone can miss someone, no matter how long they’ve been apart for.
I’ve also found that with him being an officer, lots of things that are “free so and so for military” don’t mean him. He makes too much. Which I guess all in all isn’t terrible, but I don’t know why they need to have rules like that. Believe me, all this army money people keep talking about has been no where to be seen as of yet and won’t be for a couple more weeks. We’re really no better than we were in Grand Forks execpt I’m living at home so I don’t need much, but I gave him a decent chunk of my last paycheck and his family also had to give him money to get down there. He won’t be reimbursed for his travel expenses for maybe another month. So, no, we don’t have money.
Two. Girls are Bitches.
You know it’s true. They get catty and mean, whether it’s to your face or behind your back. This seems to be especially true with military wives and fiancees talking down to military girlfriends. While I haven’t experienced this personally, I see so many posts talking about it. From what I’ve gathered, wives (and the occasional fiancee) get so wrapped up in thinking that because they signed a piece of paper, wear a ring, and they have a military ID, no one else could possibly actually love someone in the military. Now, I can understand the younger ones and the ones that have only been together for a few months, but keep your comments to yourself. You were probably there once yourself. If you happen upon a girl who you don’t like and don’t agree with, you don’t have to say anything. I will admit, I get annoyed at the girls in their teens who are married or engaged to their ‘man in uniform’ and blah blah blah. To me, high school relationships are meant to stay in high school. I learned this lesson the hard way. But hey, if you’re willing to make it work, more power to you. I wish you luck.
But in the end, we all have something in common; we’re all dealing with the distance and the uncertainty. If you’re willing to pick up and move, you wait on edge for weeks to figure out where they’re moving you to. And you just go with it. You start over and find new friends. This is where I worry and don’t understand why we can’t all help each other out. No one likes being the new kid. This is where I will also admit that I am one of the last people to reach out to the “new kid”. I know, I’ve been a new kid myself several times, but I just am not the most bubbly happy let’s-be-friends kind of person you’ll ever meet. A majority of the posts I’ve seen on these MilSO sites are looking for help with things I haven’t experienced yet. This is another reason I think I’m having a difficult time with all this.
Three. I’m the New Kid
I’m still learning what everything is in the military world. Zane still forgets this sometimes and will start rattling off acryonyms and talking about so and sos rank. Even after well over a year together, I still don’t really know what’s going on. (This
probably means I shouldn’t get mad when he doesn’t remember what I’m talking about when I say something about the MD that the SPC put out for our CWA.) I’m also not all that familiar with the different ranks and who’s higher up than who and why it matters. Most girls know a majority of these things and I’m sure I’ll get there one day, but for now, it’s frustrating. It’s a totally new language.
My stubbornness doesn’t do me any favors here, either. I told Zane when we started talking about the idea of me coming with him and our future together that I wasn’t interested in being a part of some wives club or being in charge of all of the stereotypical military spouse shit. I don’t want the things that I’ve found to be true on the internet to end up being transferred into real life. That meaning the clique-iness and all. Again, I don’t know if that will be the case, but in a few books I’ve read about being a military spouse, it does happen.
I also don’t want to just be a housewife. This has easily been my biggest personal struggle during all of this. I decided to up and leave school to move 1,500 miles away to be with him. I want to go back to school, and lucky for me there’s a school that has an atmospheric science program about an hour away, but we won’t be able to afford the out of state tuition. I don’t know what I’m going to do for a year. I hate the thought of me sitting around playing Susie Homemaker. I’ve always wanted more for myself. This isn’t to say women who choose to be full time wives are selling themselves short; you have to do what you have to do to be happy. Since I was four, I’ve wanted to do something with weather. I feel like I’ll be letting myself down if this doesn’t happen. But I also realize that me trying to have a career and move with the military isn’t really in the cards. I realize that I’ve kind of had a bad attitude about this aspect of it, but it really is something I’m still struggling with. I know that I can’t say I don’t like something if I haven’t given it a fair shot, but this is a tough one. I’ve really been trying to show him that I’m trying to be supportive and jump into this whole thing. I got a bumper sticker (It takes a soldier to love a princess) and a tshirt (Who needs prince charming when you’re in love with a soldier) and those have made him very very happy.
I feel as if I’ve gotten very off topic here. Anyways, what I’m getting at is that I’m not good at being new. I don’t like to join in just because I feel pressure to and like it’s the only way I’ll make friends and I’m hesitant to give things a fair chance once I’m in the wrong mindset.
I would like to find people who are currently living/will be living near Fort Bragg. I’ve been doing apartment searches and I’ve found some that I like but he keeps telling me that he’s heard horror stories about actually living in Fayetteville and that the surrounding communities are the place to be. This is difficult because Fayetteville isn’t all that big and it’s been kind of a stuggle to find places there due to shit websites/misinformation. Go outside of there and there’s nothing. It’s just nervewracking to have to just be okay with showing up and looking for a place and deciding so quickly. I mean, we will be there for a few years. What if it totally sucks?
I think that’s all I’ve got on that whole ‘why Missy can’t seem to find girls in her same position’ rant.
I should really just focus on getting to the end of BOLC first. 55 more days.
Received a BOLC-B Welcome Letter in my AKO email
Tons of pertinent information, a bit overwhelming to read at 2330 before showering and going to bed… but here’s some highlights in my case:
- I need to visit ROTC HRA and borrow their copy machine - “Below is a list of documents that you must have in order to successfully complete Personnel and Finance in-processing. It is vital you have these documents with the listed number of copies on Day 1 of in-processing: DA Form 71 (3 copies), Orders and all amendments (10 copies), SF 1199A (2 copies), DD 93 (2 copies), and SGLI form (2 copies).
- I can’t get my CAC card yet :( - “Any transactions to list you as “Active Duty” cannot be made until you arrive at Fort Sam Houston. Your status will be changed within in 5 days of signing-in and in-processing Fort Sam Houston. You are not eligible to receive a CAC card until this transaction is complete.”
- I have to figure out if I need to put my husband in DEERS before or after I set an appointment with the local Transportation Office (TO) to ship my Household Goods (HHG) and POV - “If you are transferring outside the continental U.S. (OCONUS) after BOLC-B please ensure your dependents (spouse, children) are listed on your orders. On occasion, your orders issuing authority may require your dependents to be listed in DEERS prior to making orders amendments. We will enroll you in DEERS within a few weeks of arrival”
- I actually have homework before school… sigh. - “All BOLC-B schools are required to implement the GAT-IMT. In order to complete the GAT-IMT, you are required to have an AKO account and a CAC card. The Army established Comprehensive Soldier Fitness (CSF) to increase the resilience and performance of Soldiers. Based on the CSF, the GAT was developed to assess the dimensions of emotional, spiritual, social, and family fitness.All officers in training are required to complete the mandatory GAT-IMT training. Please complete this training before reporting to Fort Sam Houston. If you encounter issues you will have another opportunity to complete the survey upon your arrival.”
- The work hours don’t even seem that bad - I’ll still have ample time to call my husband! - “Typical days will go from 0500 until approximately 1730/1800. We have computers available at our library and computer labs. You may choose to bring a laptop computer for use at your quarters as well.”
But I should have waited until the morning to read that email… Now I’m going to lie awake in bed stewing over my To-Do List.
With the end of our capstone event, the Red Leg War, I am only days away from becoming a qualified FA Officer. A few observations about the Field Artillery and BOLC as a whole. First and foremost Ft. Sill and the entire Lawton, OK area is terrible. If I was on active duty and got stationed here I would lose my shit but i digress.
Before coming here I never figured that brand new LTs fresh out of BOLC could be given so much responsibility. The main focuses of course were learning the duties and responsibilities of a Fire Direction Officer and a Fire Support Officer. The FDO will run a FDC and be the one giving fire commands to the gun line and making sure they’re safe. Think about that, a LT who may have commissioned just over a year ago is given the responsibility of controlling one the most destructive weapons in the US Military arsenal… Pretty cool huh? No worries though, as long as you follow the five requirements for accurate predicted fire no round will impact in an area that was not intended.
On the other side of the coin is the Fire Support Officer or FSO. With this duty you are the fires adviser for the Maneuver Commander. You are to help plan fires and let that commander know the limitations and capabilities of artillery. You will also lead the fire support team and get to ride around in a sweet vehicle with a shit ton of different coms and optics.
The different courses that are offered to FA officers make us even more capable. From Joint Fires Observer, Collateral Damage Estimate, and Weaponeering only thing that sucks is being National Guard, I won’t be able to attended them.
I can say FABOLC was challenging but I did have some fun here. I’ve got to work with and fire every howitzer the Army has to offer, play with some really badass optic systems like the LLDR and the FS3, got to play with a PVS-14 (I want one now), and I understand CAS and CCA so much more now and learned how the call for fire from an AC-130.
I still can’t believe I’ll be done here in 3 days. I cannot wait to get home and get out of Oklahoma but I am going to miss some things. I’ve met some people out here I’m pleased to now call my friends and I’m going to miss being around a group of like minded folk. This course was only about 5 months long but the sense of accomplishment I feel now rivals how I felt after I graduated college.
Some Random Photos from BOLC
Yesterday we graduated from BOLC and it was awesome. Graduation will require a long post, and I don’t really have time to put it together right now. So, here are some random photos from the course.
A Battle Buddy and I.
Me at the M16 range.
My wife and I, post graduation.
Combatives with a Battle Buddy.
I’m really going to miss these people.
Has anyone gone through Field Artillery BOLC in Fort Sill, OK?
What can you tell me?
My boyfriend will be going sometime after graduation/commissioning. I know he’s still learning a lot of the details and I don’t want to bug him.
Would it be worth me moving out there with him or will I just be in his way while he’s doing BOLC stuff?
Can he live off base with me?
What did you think of Fort Sill and the area around it?