People said she was brave. They patted her on the back for the courage that only a few possess. They marveled at the way she refused to sink and her determined face. They listened to her voice that was firm, unnerving, and tenacious. But if only they held her hands instead of her back, they would feel them ice-cold and shaking. If only they looked into the details of her face, they would see the fear in her eyes and her lips trembling. If only they listened better, they would hear the quiet quiver in her voice and the deep breaths she’s taking to calm herself. If only they knew, her knees were about to buckle and hit the ground. She stops for a moment and quotes Christopher Paolini from the book Eragon, “Keep in mind that many people have died for their beliefs; it’s actually quite common. The real courage is in living and suffering for what you believe in.” And that’s when she realized true bravery. It’s diving headfirst into the ocean from 120 feet high and knowing that there are sharks. But you still jump anyway.
This a requiem to the girl who tried her best. To the girl whose name was forgotten by the lack of its presence. To the girl whose face was burned on the yellowing pages of a yearbook. To the girl who fell in and out of love. To the girl whose body was used as a mere ride. To the girl who was nothing but a box to check. To the girl who was disowned by her own mother. To the girl who is now becoming a mother to a nameless and fatherless child. To the girl who was pushed from her home with her belongings like vultures. To the girl who was just confused. To the innocent Ophelia that she was.
This is a requiescat to the woman who gave her best. To the woman whose womb was abused and sucked dry. To the woman whose labia was stretched open for invaders looking for relief. To the woman whose most holy place became a toilet for a few pennies. To the woman who still believed someone would hold them dear during cold nights. To the woman haunted by the cries of a babe that was never there. To the woman who flaunts herself for her living. To the woman who was lost. To the hopeful Fantine that she was.
That person was I.
I have the day off school today so I’m going to Tokyo Disneyland!!!!! I’ve been before but there’s a special student discount going on right now, and also my friends and I are going after 5PM so it’s a lot cheaper :D I’m soo excited.
Also I was surprised because my main blog (this one) suddenly started getting more new followers than ufocatcheraddict. I didn’t even know this existed but I found out it was because my taiyaki ice cream post got a “blue tag” on it, cool :D
Five little things that made me happy today:
- I got featured on the prose section for the third time. Thank you tumblr!
- I got a raise and a paid vacation leave.
- Spaghetti for breakfast, Brazilian food for lunch and pork chops for dinner. I’m a fatass and I know it.
- Waking up ‘relatively’ early and seeing king sized chocolate bars next to my bed.
- Finishing the 25th book for my reading challenge. Seventy five more to go!
On a different note, it’s getting increasingly difficult to write everyday. My mind is just a barren wasteland right now. Though, I must admit, writing without caring about ‘notes’ is emancipating.
Whoa blue tag!
I’ve just recently find out that the Ho-oh and Lugia post has gotten a blue tag!I searched it up a bit and found out that it means that my post was featured!
THANK YOU SO MUCH TUMBLR SJDBGLSABGDKJKL!! I LOVE YOU~~~!! ;u;
In the meantime, please enjoy my future work, my dear followers~ You guys are awesome too~~
All sidelined Cools message me
Men and Women typically neglected
We might spazz if we met
and that’s cool yeah
How far you spazz is how cool you can climb
God of Cool says so on Give No Fucks Mountain
I was a loser—long time tripping lame
All cut words stay with me
I consume them into myself
You’ll never know me, mean ass fuckers
I got your number though
One asshole is as another
A clone easy to smell in the morning
There they all are—Assholes
Just sitting there waiting
Keep waiting assholes
Original Soul is walking by
Take notes—Imitate—and Cry Yeah