Blind Dates Should be Blind
I am what you might call “perpetually single.” Unlike the majority of my friends, I have been single for the majority of my life, and my relationships generally don’t last very long. Nothing wrong with it, things just don’t work it.
However, because of this, my friends are always talking about setting me up with some guy or another. People are always telling me about some guy they know, and ask if I want to be set up on a date.
No, no I don’t.
Not that I think there is anything wrong with blind dates, or being set up. I’d be more than willing to be set up, if it weren’t for one little thing. The problem is that despite how much time I spend with my friends, or how much they know about me, they never seem to consider the right things when they want to hook me up with someone.
To put it bluntly, they always want to set me up with black guys. I’m African Canadian, so I guess I can see where they’re coming from. But on the other hand, I don’t have a lot in common with the majority of the black community. I don’t even have much in common with the few black friends I do have. I’m what you might call white wash (although I find that term offensive). I listen to punk rock and indie music. I dress conservatively. I hate Tyler Perry movies.
Now I’m not saying that I’d never date a black man. I have in the past and likely will again in the future. My problem is that it seems like the only reason they want to set me up with this particular guy, is because he’s black.
Usually, when someone tells me there’s some guy I have to meet, I ask them to tell me about him, and the first thing out of his or her mouth is “Well, he’s black.” The rest is usually a discription of someone that I would never normally consider dating. No “You two have a similar sense of humour” or “He really loves Scorcese movies.” Just his skin tone, and that should be enough. Well, one time the selling point was that he looked like Lando Calrissian. I think my friend thought this was more of a plus than it actually was.
I mean, I’m black, and he’s black. That’s enough to build a relationship on, right?
No one seems to consider the fact that the last two guys I dated were white. Or that I had an intense crush on an Asian guy just a few months ago. Or even the fact that they probably have more black friends than I do.
I’m attracted to men of all ethnicities, but I still rarely date because I’m more attracted to personalities than looks. So I guess what I’m saying, is that if someone wanted to set me up with someone, in order to get me to say yes, you’d better take more into consideration than just his skin tone.
Bottom line is if I was willing to date a guy just because he was cute and black, I’d give my number to the guys that hit on me at bus stops.