Step 1: Claim to have genetic proof that Bigfoot is real and is “… the result of males of an unknown hominin species crossing with female Homo sapiens”, submit genomic analysis to peer-reviewed journal.
Step 1a: When Step 1 fails and that paper is rejected by actual journals, start your own journal in order to publish said results. Cite television series “Monster Quest” … obviously.
Step 2: …
Step 3: Await phone call from Nobel Prize committee.
Here’s what geneticists have to say about the “research” in the “paper” done by the “scientist”. Ars Technica looked at some of the DNA claims and either this paper has invented a new arm of biology or someone drank too much of the lab ethanol before doing the analysis. Michael Eisen created a bioinformatics tool that lets you calculate what percentage Sasquatch you are based on the paper’s data. One geneticist on Twitter analyzed some of the data and found DNA sequences from human, cat, rhesus monkey, horse and panda. The “researcher” in question has a Facebook page that you can go visit if you’re in the mood to feel bad for someone.
I’m just glad that we’ve cured antibiotic resistant superbacteria and can finally cure all the different kinds of cancer so we have time to spend talking about this stuff!
