Without You: G-dragon (BIGBANG)
☆ Just a small something I wrote inspired by 켈 국 : Without You (I’m Falling) by G-dragon.☆
It felt so painful…
Having him there beside you, the early rays of sunlight casting a milky mist over his porcelain skin and accentuating the ripple of flesh cascading down his naked flesh. The black ink scrawled across his side: Forever Young
You wondered what that meant for you, it seemed silly at first but you really did wonder, was there even a future available with that kind of mentality? You certainly weren’t G-dragon, this lifestyle, this way of living without questions, without care. That wasn’t the Jiyong you knew, that wasn’t the man you saw yourself settling down and having children with, and once upon a time Jiyong used to be that man, that one and only man. Where did you fit in now, with this swagged out persona?
“Jiyong…” you whispered his name, but he did not respond, his breath softly leaving his parted lips.
It felt so painful…
Having him so close, every essence of him lingering so beautifully next to you but having him be so distant. You let your fingers trace the soft mounds of skin on his arms, his buttery skin tingling underneath yours. You ran your hand through his hair just once and brought your lips to his forehead. You could feel his breath hike slightly as your chest closed in on him, you kissed him softly, a faint lingering kiss, pondering, hoping, wishing for something.
It felt so painful…
Being here and knowing that the only thing between your naked bodies and those tainted sheets were empty promises and tattered obligations of love. Nothing felt real anymore, you had been here so many times before, the fights, the tears, the accusations.
“You did this”
“You did that”
“I love you”
“I hate you”
and back to this. It had began to feel so scripted, the same beginning, the same climax, the same conclusion. It seemed somehow meeting skin with skin was the solution to every problem you had, it became somewhat of a remedy. Having him like this, having him mesh with you, being entangled in this way, the fire between your thighs, the heat in his stare, the waves of euphoria rocking you both, it was a drug, he becoming your biggest weakness. But it was the way he kissed you, the way he groaned your name into your neck, the way he held you when you reached the most intense peak of making love, you felt so secure, he held on to you like at any moment you would spontaneously combust into a thousand pieces and sometimes it felt like you would; shatter into him. You would moan into his ear like you were going to fall apart, grasping tufts of his candy coloured hair as his fingers seared into you. He felt amazing, lips dripping down your skin like melting ice, over your neck, your breasts, your tummy, your hips and lower still, but it wasn’t it enough. It couldn’t be anymore.
You pulled one of his tshirts over your bare body and put on the remainder of your clothes and left, hiding your shame in the blinding sunlight that sneaked in through the blinds.You closed the bedroom door behind you, letting your head drop against it, feeling the hard thud of wood before whispering: I’m sorry Jiyong….
You didn’t want to do it, leave him like this, but you knew Jiyong didn’t have the heart to do it himself. You both would sit, hand clasped within hand, with a chilling emptiness between you, smiles rehearsed in front of the mirror when you were in public and living like strangers, back to back on the cold matress. You never dreamed this would happen, you never dreamed his love for you would fade like this so suddenly. You had somehow deluded yourself into thinking that this was true, that yours and Jiyong’s story was the type they wrote about in novels, everlasting and eternal. You were wrong, so so wrong.
You wanted to make it work, you both did, you tried but the passion that was once present only came in brief spurts of physical interaction, the passion of the heart was another matter entirely and the key component missing.
“Jiyong, I cant take this anymore!”
“What, what ____-ah? I’m busy, my album just got released I have no time for this bullshit.”
“Bullshit? Is that what our relationship is now, bullshit?”
He would sigh then, cussing at the air like you did not exist in the moment.
“That’s not what I said.” he snarled between gritted teeth.
“That’s exactly what you said Jiyong!” You would yell, beginning to get up and put on your coat.
“Fuck- ___- ah. Wait. Dont go.”
“You obviously don’t have time for a girlfriend, so do what you have to do okay-“ you would say, tears held tightly within your hurting eyes before banging the door behind you.
It felt so painful…
Because he never came after you, he never so much as apologised for that night. Bigbang went off to Japan to do promotions, he did inkigayo and appeared on variety, but not once, not once did he come after you.
That was of course until yesterday, when you both found yourself fighting so desperately for something, something tangible that would assure you love existed. You hoped like a deluded fool that he would feel the same as your battered heart did, the closer he was the more your heart, so full of scars yearned still for him. But you saw it, in his eyes, lodged between lies and regret for what you had become, a potent glaze of pure nothingness. A blank iris, a lukewarm brown as they felt nothing, a cold despair of nothing at all.
He kissed you, at his point he had become a pro at pretending, he was skilled in every way, making you feel what anyone inexperienced with matters of Jiyong would mistake as love, yearning even. But you knew, more than anything he was just playing the greatest game of seduction, it was animalistic infatuation stealing tokens of romance from memories of the past where there was once a real connection between you two, it was the greatest trick of all.
“Baby, stop being mad at me okay?” he said, like silk pouring out of his glossy pout. You nodded, it was a helpless nod because you knew, from the bruised falsehood of his words that this was the end.
You allowed him to make love to you, you wanted to feel him for the last time, before you would finally disappear and fall… fall without him.
★ I might carry it on, I don’t know yet. You want me to? xx OPM ★
#4
ღ Unconventional ↬ “Not based on or conforming to what is generally done or believed”
⇴ G-Dragon
“Hey babe,” you greeted without glancing up from your computer, immersed in what you were reading.
Jiyong sighed, carefully sinking into the sofa with his brows knitted thoughtfully together and hand rubbing against each other. “I love you.”
His sentimental words caught you off guard, no longer does the document opened in your laptop matters, nor the details of the case you’re running after. What matters is Kwon Jiyong, and something’s definitely wrong.
With a worried look, you look at him, really look at him. He looked a lot more haggard than he did last week, he seemed to have gotten darker under eyes than the maknae who was nicknamed the “panda” for a reason, and his usually well combed perfectly styled hair was sticking out as if he had fought of a whirlwind. But what surprised you the most were the clothes he was wearing were a repeat of last weeks, your fashionista boyfriend would never wear the very same combination of clothes; ever. “Alright, what have you done? What’s happened?”
He shrugged, leaning further back into the couch, the velvet a soft touch to his worn out skin. “I can’t declare my undying love for you out of nowhere?”
“Nope.”
He looked at you for the longest of time, his eyes drinking in your freshly bathed image. Your long ebony hair was damp, the satin hot pink singlet you had on marked with water. Big auburn eyes held genuine concern and slight annoyance looked back at him, glossed lips pursed in thought. He softly called out your name, your heart slightly fluttering at the way he said it. He cleared his throat and patted the space next to him. Hesitantly obliging, you took the invitation and relaxed into the sofa, his arm around your waist pulling you closer.
“Seriously Kwon Jiyong, what’s up?” You reiterate.
For the second time that night, he shrugged, nonchalant as if he really didn’t know. “The sky?”
A raised eyebrow and crossed arms across your chest, he knew he shouldn’t be messing with you. But right now, all he could think of is he loves you, you mean the world to him and nothing else matters. “Not funny.”
“Then, marry me. Let’s get married right now.”
♛ BIGBANG » Twitter
- In which he tweets about you.
- TOP: Posts a photo of the candle flame from the restaurant the two of you just had dinner at with a caption saying, "This candle won't ever burn out" leaving the fans confused and curious of what he means. (Seriously, what did you expect.)
- Taeyang: Tweets a photo of the new skateboard that you bought him as a gift, along with words: "Luv dis sooooo much. Won't use it. Tnx baby" firing up Twitter and causing 'Taeyang' to be on the trending list.
- G-Dragon: Tweets, "U all gotta watch out for 5th track! Especially 4 u xx" causing every and all fangirls to tweet him, ygent_official, Choice and Taeyang asking what hell the song is about and begging for the management to release the album soon.
- Daesung: Leaves an oblivious tweet saying "I will reach you someday........" (Somebody needs to man up and confess.)
- Seungri: Shamelessly posts a photo of you that he took a month ago at the university cafeteria and tweets, "Japan is so cold... I miss you baby, my heart hurts ㅠ ㅠ" (Calm down, bro.)
Taeyang 001: Unconditional
You snuggled closely to the bare chest your head was currently resting on. The steady thumping of his heart seemed to lull you back into a delightful slumber as he watched you silently. He ran his fingers gently through your hair.
“I love you,” he whispered, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to hear him. He never told you how much he loved you these days. Whenever you would utter those three beautiful words he would simply nod and walk away. And how could he say it? How could he tell you he loved you as well when your happiness was limited? He would rather you have left like he’d originally planned.
Ex: Seungri (Part 6)
“Why did you let him kiss you?” Seungri shouts. Something inside of him is growing, anger? He seems like he’s about to explode.
You turn to look at him, coldly, “Why do you even care?”
“Because!” he begins and then pauses, “Because you are my best friend!!! You can’t just let any random guy kiss you like that!!!”
Best friend?
Right, best friend… you are just Seungri’s best friend…
All I want for Christmas..
This idea just would not leave me alone. My Christmas scenario inspired by the picture below and also the rumor that GD was in Thailand with Seungri ^^
Hope you like it!
Title: All I want for Christmas..
Involves: GDragon from BIGBANG
There was only a week left till Christmas and you decided that you would spend it at your parents house in Thailand. They had decided to move there shortly after you moved to Korea for your fathers work. You hadn’t seen them for half a year and it was only right to see them. Only it didn’t feel right.
The day before had been your birthday and what had you done? Your friends took you out to watch a movie and go shopping, your parents wished you a happy birthday through a video call and you grandparents had even sent money. And your boyfriend?
Jiyong had forgotten. You hadn’t seen or even heard from him.
You hadn’t told him what day it was and you didn’t think he’d even figured it out yet. He had texted you multiple times but you were ignoring him, too upset and hurt that he hadn’t remembered. You would have forgiven him if it was your first year together and he had been called away by his busy schedule, but it wasn’t. This would have been your third Christmas as a couple and he had no schedule planned. When you’d asked him what he was doing all day he had said he was at a party hosted by ‘a friend of a friend.’
Life: Daesung (One Shot)
“Oppa, do you ever wonder if you are living the life you truly want?” you ask while laying down next to him. Looking up at the beautiful night sky, stars shinning through the clouds, your mind can’t seem to quiet down.
Smiling, Daesung turns to face you, “_______-ah, what about you? Are you living the life you truly want? Being where you want to be, doing what you want to do?”
Letting out a sigh, you continue to stare at the night sky, through the galaxy, thinking about the unknown.
Truth is, you don’t know.
You don’t know if you are living the life.
Entry 010: Baby Steps
A continuation of this scenario
TOP:You shifted uncomfortably on the chair as the two of you enjoyed a quiet dinner at your apartment. Moments like these had become scarce since rumors of SeungHyun dating had been spread through the YG building. You two had managed to keep it under wraps for a while, deciding early on that it would be for the best—even keeping it hidden from his band members.
He reached for your hand with curious eyes. “Are you alright? You seem a little nervous. Did you eat my ice-cream again?” He joked, attempting to lighten the heavy mood. You merely smiled and moved your hand away, placing it on your lap.
His smiling face grew serious as he slightly gulped. “Is there something I should know?”
Your eyes prickled with tears, further worrying him. He stood up from his chair and kneeled before you, taking hold of your shaky hand. You instinctively placed a hand on your stomach. SeungHyun noticed your actions, his eyes growing wide. “Baby…are you…”
“I’m so sorry SeungHyun. I don’t know how it happened. I never missed a day for birth control I don’t understand how it’s possible. I’m sorry, I’m so—,” he held your head in place with his hands and kissed you softly, melting your anxiety for a moment’s time. His eyes bore into yours, hoping you wouldn’t freak out on him.
Once he made sure your breathing had calmed down he gently smiled. “Whatever you decide—whatever you want, I’m going to be right here. I’m not going to leave you alone, understand?” You meekly nodded, sniffing once before saying, “What, what’s going to happen?”
He kissed your forehead tenderly before smiling at you. “YG is going to kill me, but that won’t matter. I love you too much to just turn a blind eye.” You laughed lightly, causing SeungHyun to laugh along. “Come on; let’s go get some ice-cream.” Oh, the cravings just kicked in.
G-Dragon:His face paled, his sweaty hands grew clammy. “I’m pregnant.”
His mind repeated those words endlessly until it rang throughout his ears. His legs began to carry him back and forth before you as you sat limply on the couch. Various scenarios played like a movie reel in his mind’s eye, each outcome proving to be a negative one.
And then, he imagined something wonderful, something that seemed to lift the worries in his equilibrium. He imagined a little girl, the exact replica of the woman he loves with a cute smile and a pretty dress running up to him to be held in his arms. He imagined the little girl calling him daddy, and displaying her mother’s same puppy face tactic to get what she wants—which he would gladly succumb to.
The worried expression on his features soon faded. “We’re going to have to come clean. I mean…there’s no way you’ll be able to hide your cute little belly once the baby starts growing.” Your head tilted to the side. This was not the reaction you had expected when you first found out yourself.
Still, you were relieved he was okay with it. He held out his hand towards you and brought you up. “We’re going to be okay. I promise we’re going to work things out.” He kissed each of your cheeks before kissing your nose and lastly your lips. The sensation sent tingles through your body and down to your toes. “I love you,” he squeezed your hand gently, further reassuring you before he kissed it and placed it on his cheek. “Youngbae is going to be so jealous that I’m going to be a father before him,” he laughed gleefully. You didn’t fail to notice the twinkle in his eyes.
Taeyang:Sweat dripped from his forehead as his muscles strained. He closed his eyes at the feel of the weights placing pressure on his torso. Just a little more, one more push and he could call it a day. A huff of breath escaped his dry lips.
“Youngbae?” His senses sharpened at the sound of your voice—you always had that effect on him. He dropped the weights, his breathing coming out raggedly. “What’s wrong baby?” You stood before him with quivering lips and nervously swaying hips. “Youngbae…I…” he stood up, ignoring the stiffness in his knees and wrapped secure arms around your waist. “What is it?”
You couldn’t help but let the tears flow freely now, causing Youngbae to slightly panic, “please tell me. You’re scaring me.”
“I…I’m pregnant, Youngbae. Oh my god, what’s going to happen? I don’t want you to get in trouble. What if—,” His eyes grew wide in shock. “A…a baby?” He ran a hand through this sweaty hair, shaky sigh escaping him. He couldn’t fathom if it was the exhaustion or the fact that he was having a baby.
He kissed your temple and grinned. “Well, I can cross off father from my bucket list.” He laughed, picking you up and spinning you around before he gasped, quickly setting you down. “We have to buy things. We better start looking for houses and cribs. And giant boxes of diapers so we’re ready!” You laughed placing a hand on his flushed cheek. “Shouldn’t we tell YG first?”
He gulped, “Yeah…eventually.” He hugged you tightly once more and you laughed attempting to push him away. “Youngbae, you smell!” He laughed and kissed your cheeks. “Want to help me wash up?”
“That’s what got us into this situation.”
DaeSung:“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” You stopped all sudden movements. The vegetables you were cutting lay still as you limply set the chef’s knife down. “What do you mean?” He sighed and leaned his hips against the kitchen island, his eyes boring holes through you. “You’re making a dish that you usually won’t even touch with a ten-foot pole and yesterday you went to the bathroom at least a dozen times.
Why was this man so in tune with your emotions? Any other day you would have appreciated it, but today you didn’t. You let out a soft ‘hmm’ and attempted to cease the slight trembling. “I…”
“You’re pregnant,” he finished. You nodded, avoiding his gaze until he turned you and gently lifted your chin. You were greeted with a small smile. “The world is going to have to accept that this will be my life too. YG is going to have to accept that I’m going to be a father because there’s not a chance that I’m going to leave you. I love you and I’m going to make sure we have everything we need.” Your eyes grew watery at the intense happiness you felt with him. He really was your set of wings—your angel.
“DaeSung,” he pinched your cheeks before saying, “he’s also going to accept the fact that I’ll be a husband, a family.” He placed his hand on your stomach. His heart swelled with love at the sight before him. “Can we dress him up as a little angel? He can run around the house in a pair of wings!” He boasted, imagining all the fun the child would bring. “I can teach him how to dance to our songs! He’s going to be so talented!”
“How do you know the baby is going to be a boy?”
“She’s going to be so talented!”
Seungri:“But baby…April fool’s was last month,” he gulped, glancing down at your stomach before he looked back into your eyes. “SeungHyun…I’m not…”
“You’re not joking,” he panicked suddenly. “My hyungs are going to kill me! They’re never going to trust me again for being so irresponsible! I’m going to die when YG finds out! He’s going to slaughter me then bring me back to life to do it again!” He knelt before your stomach and poked it. “So there’s a baby in here. A living growing baby and we made him…” Despite the serious atmosphere you couldn’t help but laugh at his shocked state. You ran your fingers soothingly through his hair. “Yes, the baby is the product of our love. You act like you don’t know how babies are made.” He grinned, looking up at you. “Oh I know very well how they’re made. Do you need a reminder?” Your eye twitched in slight annoyance.
“Weren’t you just freaking out about dying?” He kissed your stomach softly; making your heart beat a little faster before he lifted himself. “YG isn’t going to like this, but I don’t really care. I’m going to risk everything for you…and our baby.” He grinned, wrapping his arms lovingly around you. “Our baby—that has a nice ring to it. So does ‘our babies.’ Don’t you think?”
“No…I haven’t even had this child and you’re already thinking of another one?” He frowned, “but I want us to start our own idol group! They’ll be world famous and they can have their daddy’s Spock hair!”
You kissed his lips before smiling. “We’ll see. You have to make it out alive from YG’s office first.” He chuckled nervously as his hand rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Touché.”
#009:Bigbang various ways in which they flirt with women that they like (you)..and your reaction.
G-Dragon:
Both of you just met 15 minutes ago at the backstage. But you realize Jiyong keep looking at you in weird way. His gaze look likes he try to hypnotize you.
“are..are you okay jiyong-shi?” you asked cause you just feel too uncomfortable at the same time breathless.
TOP:
From a distance you can see TOP walking over your direction. You try to walk cooly since he is your bias in Bigbang. But when he really walk just beside you..you realize his left hand making his way to you back side
‘omo! He wants to touch my butt?!!’
Before Top can act any further..you yell out loud
“help me!!!!!! There is a pervert man here!! Help me!!” you keep yelling at the same time running away.
Top just left clueless with his handphone in his left hand.
Taeyang:
Your heart beat faster when you see your bias Youngbae walking with Seungri through your direction. You can see Youngbae keep glancing at you while he walking.
When Youngbae and Seungri walking pass by your side..you heard..
“seungri..i want you..” intead of seungri..i want her
You gasp.. so ‘taeri’ is real!!!!
Daesung:
He knows you are the one who can make his heart beat faster. Daesung intentionally walking beside you who keeps listening to the bigbang song in your ipod.
“It’s our first time..” Daesung said when he walks beside you.
But you keep on walking cause you can’t heard him. Your music just too loud in your ears.
Daesung left dumbfounded..
“yah! why she don’t even stop and ask me back?!”
Seungri:
Both of you don’t say anything; just look at each other, you wanted to ask for his signature but he keeps looking at your eyes and it turns into a staring contest until his eyes intensely checking out your body from head to toe with smirk on his face.
This is creepy..
Forget about ‘wanting Seungri signature’.. you knock his head using the paper and scream
“you PERVERT MAN!!!!” and just go.
♛ TOP drabble #18
♛
Before you came, Choi Seunghyun was fond of sleeping alone. The thought of having (wanting. desperately needing) someone sleeping on the other side of the bed never occurred to him. But ever since you started occasionally sleeping over at his apartment, he’s never wanted to sleep with anyone (sleep in the most innocent way kind of sleeping together with) as bad as he wanted to sleep with you. He wanted to sleep in your arms, or have you in his, have his nose buried in your hair or your hands intertwined as you fall into slumber. And now as he sleeps alone in his bed, he’s never felt so empty his whole life. And his room is suddenly so spacious. He just couldn’t sleep without having someone with him (you – he thinks. Only you) anymore. And to think he’s been used to isolation his whole life. He’s used to being alone, to being lonely. No one has ever understood him until you came along. And he laid there, eyes on the ceiling, hand on his chest, fingers drumming. Thinking that he’s never been this dependent on anyone his whole life. And it scared him. He hated you for it. He hated you for making him so attached to you. And he hated you for letting him suffer like this.
He rose from the bed, tightened his robe as he made way to the kitchen for a glass of wine. And for a moment, he just stood there, eyes at the darkness and he could picture you by the couch, in his arms as you watched TV. Or you looking atSeoul’s view from his villa. And his heart grasped. He could never be the same again – the same, old Seunghyun who slept alone, drank wine and succumbed to the thoughts eating him alive at night.
And then suddenly, cutting the still silence – the phone rings.
“Jaaaaagiyaaaa,” You slur, breathless as you try to get through the sound of loud cars racing in the street.
Exactly at that moment, he smiles. “Where are you?”
“I’m actually on my way there… is it okay? I hope it’s okay. I heard from Jiyong you’ll be staying the night there so I wanted to come – I’m sure it’s okay. Right is it oops, I think I’m going to get cut off any mo\ment. I will see you right? Right?”
He laughs in that queer, deep laugh of his. And he cleared his throat. It’s just what he wanted anyways. “I don’t mind, I’ll just wait for you. Take care, Jagiya.”
“I will for you,” Silence. Then a car passing through. Turbulence and a few whispered words. “I love you.”
And the line is dead.
And you put the phone back into the receiver and sit on the couch, eyes to the ceiling (putting that thought of getting himself a glass of wine forgotten) thinking that he could never really be the same again.
♛
A/N: I thought I posted the angst this anon requested me to do but I just found out that I didn’t! Could you believe that? So I went and made a new one - though not as angsty as the original one. I haven’t writting anything in so long I’ve actually forgotten how to write anything good. Was this good? Is it rusty? Please tell me. I’d be upset to hear I’ve lost my writing ability (if I actually had one) OKAY I’LL STOP FROM HERE. I love you guys!
And if you’re not tracking the wrvscenario/wrvscenarios tag, then please do (if you want to read my scenarios, that is)!
