Fearlessness

Earlier this year I was having a rough time so I emailed one of my friends about it. His response was one of those times I think the universe reaches out and slaps you through another person. I was dealing with my eating issues, feeling frustrated with my career and just like, finding it impossible to clear my head.

Telling people to deny passion for profit is FEAR. Walk away from it.

I am developing all new skills, mostly being able to love and forgive in the moment and not need years to process emotions like i used to. That’s the gift. I am examining what I eat more and more everyday because I was incapable of looking at it for real before. When you take the power away from food it goes somewhere… where does it go? I don’t know, just don’t be afraid and it will do what it’s supposed to.

I got fired from my job, my career lost, my money flushed, my band ruined… and I am happier than I’ve ever been. My new job is this, it’s just being an awesome fearless person, and when you do that people will fall over themselves to work with you.

Work at being you, the ‘jobs’ and ‘money’ will find there way to you.

much love

This was a beautiful email and I wanted to share it because it was super encouraging to me. You don’t really need anything to be happy. A lady I know told me the happiest time in her life is when she was on welfare because she knew she couldn’t lose anything else. It was already gone, and with it her anxiety about losing it. It’s so crazy how much fear I have about losing my security. Instead of making me happier, it’s a block to my happiness because I worry about it going away.

When I was an evangelical Christian I had guilt about having anxiety because in the Bible it says that you are supposed to trust god to provide and worry is like, insulting him or proof that you aren’t trusting enough. Listen, I would love to not worry about shit. I am mad jealous of those free spirit people who seem to just do things without a narrative. That’s not who I am, though.

Being fearless isn’t realistic and that’s okay. But it is refreshing to think about the things you are afraid of and try to make sure they aren’t standing in your way of being happy.