I know the emphasis on romance as a focal point to meaningful lives is really heavily ingrained in our society. I know it’s going to be an uphill battle unlearning that, while we’re going to be bombarded with more and more of that.
But you aren’t broken.
You aren’t broken if you don’t want romance.
You might not even be able to believe me right now, but I hope that some day in the future you will.
You are not broken. I promise.
“Dear Asexuals/Aromantics. You do not need to "fall in love", "try sex", or conform to sexual/romantic social norm you feel uncomfortable with. It is society that needs to accept that there is more out there then they perceive as normal. Stay true to yourselves and enjoy the experience. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
—
Telling people you're aromantic
- People: It's just a phase.
- People: You're still young.
- People: You just haven't met the right person yet.
- People: It will happen eventually, don't worry.
- People: You're just afraid of commitment.
- People: You're just afraid of losing control.
- People: You can't rationalize it, it'll just happen.
- Me: No.
A PSA about asexuality/aromanticism
Some asexual people don’t have sex.
Some asexual people have sex.
Some asexual people do not ever experience sexual attraction.
Some asexual people experience degrees of sexual attraction, or sexual attraction only in certain circumstances or with certain people, or after a certain emotional bond has been formed.
Some asexual people get into romantic relationships with sexual people.
Some asexual people get into romantic relationships only with other asexual people.
Some asexual people do not get into romantic relationships.
Many asexual people, regardless of whether they get into partnerships or committed relationships, have important relationships to them, be that friends, family members, or other types of connection.
Some aromantic people are sexual.
Some aromantic people are asexual.
Some aromantic people do not ever experience romantic attraction.
Some aromantic people experience certain degrees of romantic attraction, or romantic attraction only in certain circumstances or with certain people, or after a certain emotional bond has been formed.
Some aromantic people do not get into committed relationships (sexual or otherwise).
Some aromantic people get into committed relationships only with other aromantic people.
Some aromantic people get into committed relationships with romantic people.
Many aromantic people, regardless of whether they get into partnerships or committed relationships, have important relationships to them, be that friends, family members, or other types of connection.
Statements such as “asexual people do not have sex,” or “asexual people are always isolated from other people,” or “aromantic people are incapable/never want to be in relationships” are invalidating and disrespectful to the diversity of the asexual spectrum. And need to fucking stop.
Speak for yourself, not for all of us.
Aromantic/Platonic/queerplatonic dating checklist
And here’s a rebloggable version.
This can be used by anyone I suppose, but is made specifically for people with a queerplatonic/platonic/non-romantic partner. You could use this with friends, too!
Kissing (forehead, cheek, etc):
Kissing (mouth):
Hand holding:
Cuddling:
Hugging:
Other affectionate touching:
Hugging in public:
Cuddling in public:
Kissing (forehead, cheek, etc) in public:
Kissing (mouth) in public:
Hand holding in public:
Other affectionate touch in public:
Eye gazing:
Crying on:
Being cried on:
Massage (giving):
Massage (receiving):
Hair brushing (giving):
Hair brushing (receiving):
Nail painting (giving):
Nail painting (receiving):
Shaving (giving):
Shaving (receiving):
Bathing together (with bathing suits):
Bathing together (naked):
Seeing my partner naked:
My partner seeing me naked:
Feeding my partner:
Being fed by my partner:
Tickling (being tickled):
Tickling (doing the tickling):
Terms of endearment:
Being called “best friend”:
Being called “partner”:
Being called romantically-coded words (boyfriend, girlfriend, etc):
Me having other platonic partners:
My partner having other platonic partners:
Me having other romantic partners:
My partner having other romantic partners:
My partner doing romantic-coded things with someone else:
Me doing romantic-coded things with someone else:
My partner doing sexual things with someone else:
Me doing sexual things with someone else:
Touching my partner sexually:
Being touched by my partner sexually:
Having sex of any kind with my partner [specify if yes]:
Sexual kink with my partner [specify if yes]:
Non-sexual kink with my partner [specify if yes]:
“Romantically coded” gifts (flowers, chocolates, etc):
Dancing:
Bed sharing (non-affectionate):
Bed sharing (cuddling):
Tucking my partner in:
Being tucked in:
Living together:
[Platonic] marriage:
Raising children together:
Having pets together:
Other stipulations/concerns:
I think that covers everything. If it doesn’t, please let me know and I’ll add it!
And the categories could probably be “yes”, “yes, but ask first”, “yes, but with certain restrictions”, “no”, “maybe; ask first”.
