Sacrifices
I can’t even talk to him about him leaving. He just wants to ignore the fact that we have 3 months left together before he leaves for AT then a year apart without leave. He just wants to enjoy the time that we have together. I completely respect that, it’s just hard to keep things from him.
124 more days. Every single day we are closer to one another. We are halfway through this.
Halfway through this. Then, I will see him when he is getting off his plane, walking into the airport, and then I can jump into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist and whisper into his ear how much I need his skin against mine.
I cant wait to kiss his lips, nibble his ears, and nuzzle my nose into his neck so I can smell his skin, then kiss his beautiful neck so I can taste it.
Weve been together for 120 days. We are literally almost halfway through this.
But, I cant act like I am not afraid. He has to come home safe to me, or, I will be absolutely lost.
But, you know what…we’ve got this, babe. Weve got this. I am here today, I will be here tomorrow, I will be here when you step off that plane.
I will be with you for as long as you will have me.
This smile is my universe.
We're really not going to make it...
We’ve been fighting. A lot. so we gave ourselves a time line. If things don’t get better by time’s up, then we’re going to part ways, hopefully as friends. It’s communication mostly. It’s completely one-sided. No matter how many times I ask him to just tell me what’s going on, he never does. He insists I do nothing wrong. But I’m human. Of course I do things wrong. Then he asks me what I want him to say or do, but how can a relationship work if all I do is tell him how to do things? I can’t be his relationship tutor… I’ve been trying to work on reigning in my temper. It’s hard, but I am trying. Maybe he is too, but I haven’t seen it. Last time I came close to calling it quits, last time I told him we had X time, it seemed he waited to the last minute to out in a full force push of all he had, and where did that get us? Right back to where we were before… I love him so much. I know I’m never going to find anyone with a heart like his, but I just can’t help but feel that things aren’t going to get better, that it would be for the best to just… let it go. He’s about to go on 3 week leave, too… Every time we spend that much time apart, things always get worse when we’re back together, because we’re not used to being around each other anymore. 2 weeks after he gets home from leave… That’s our deadline… Although if we have another fight like our last big one, we may not even make it that long. He’s my Cowboy. I’m his Angel. But for how much longer?
what the fuck am i supposed to do when her whole letters consists of how much she hates it, how only 4 girls graduated in the last company, how she’s a failure at everything so she’ll probably fail this too, how she doesn’t think she can do it, how she wants to give up and come home, how she doesn’t have the self-confidence for this, etc etc etc.
how am i supposed to respond to something that breaks me down to nothing.
