I came to a realization.

So, today I went to YG, Youth Group. I had come to a realization. I know that I don’t really even want to bring this back up because it’s the past, but I’m going to. I just need to get some things out. But like I was saying, I came to a realization. I’m just going to tell a short story real quick. I gained a friendship. After a few months, I somewhat lost this friendship. After a couple weeks, I gained it back. After losing it that one time, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship again. I didn’t want to lose this one friendship. This friend was different. You know when you meet a friend, and you feel like you don’t want to lose them because they’re just hella different compared to your other friends? Well yeah, I didn’t want to lose this friend. I cared about our friendship. But, I did something very stupid. I wanted to keep updated with things and all, but I did a stupid thing, which I’m not going to say what. But, I only did that stupid thing because I cared. It doesn’t make sense, but still. Well anyways, after doing the stupid shit, I lost the friendship again. I really couldn’t take shit. A lot of shit was just happening and what not. This friend told me all this shit about how they just don’t care and all. But well, there was nothing I could really do. There were many different decisions that I wanted to make, but I couldn’t. I just let everything go by, and let everything be. After about a few months, things were just slowly getting better. It seemed like we just saw a lot of realization and all. Well so, things are better now. Our friendship is somewhat back. But well, let me go back to that realization thing. I had realized that this friend had forgave and forget. This friend didn’t forgive me in person or whatever, but I could see it. And, this person just somewhat forgot everything because it was the past. We both came to realizations I’m sure. But yeah. Lately, I’ve been bothered by many different thoughts that just be running in my mind. All I could ever think about is…after every little thing that had been said and done, why did this friend decide for us to somewhat be friends again, rather than continue not being friends like they had wanted? I just didn’t get how this person could just come back all chill after everything that had been said and done. It’s just that every word that this person said, just really doesn’t compare to how things are now. It really doesn’t. But, back to that realization part, I realized that forgive and forget part. I barely realized it much more tonight. I’m guessing that this friend just forgave and forget, which is good. Well, I’m guessing that that’s the answer to my question. She just forgave and forget. That’s the reason why she chose to somewhat be friends again. That’s my guess. But yeah. Now, I somewhat know the answer. But, I kind of want to hear them tell me the real answer. I may be wrong, or I may be right. But, I wish I could get the real answer in person. But, I might just ruin shit again. I’m on the verge with some things. I already got those 2 strikes out, and I don’t need a 3rd one. Now, I just need to keep going and pull through with everything. Well, what I’m trying to say is that I came to a realization. I found my answer. I found my decisions. I barely, finally realized everything. Well, this is a very long blog post. I’m sure that no one would even read this whole thing, so it’s whatever. But well, about friendships…don’t ever let go of a friendship that you value. Especially when they’re a different type of friend. Idk if I made sense, but yeah. You’ll find your way eventually. Just be patient. I sound so dumb, wtf.