20 things i've learned about listening from a court-ordered anger management handbook
A few months ago, two wise friends told me, separately, in a nice-ish way, that I’m a very reactive person and maybe I should work on this.
I did a mental scroll of issues I’ve had with people in the past decade and realized that—with almost every problem I’ve had with people, ever—my hot-headedness has played a role. (Sorry, all my ex-boyfriends!)
It seems obvious now, but I’d never noticed that, hey, I do have intense reactions to things. (Like rude emails or Sheryl Sandberg’s TedTalk.) Or that it is kinda exhausting to live this way. I certainly never thought I could do anything about it.
And this is all a prelude to explain how I discovered a California-based therapist named Lorraine Watson after googling “how to be less reactive,” and stumbling upon Lorraine’s blog posts. Her theory is that being reactive is simply a state of not dealing with emotions (usually anger) in the most skillful way.
So I have anger management issues. (?!)
A quick way to cool anger
Things you’ll need:
- An ice cube
Take the ice cube and press it against your third eye. say
“may this cool a wrathful mind”
now place it over your heart. say
“may this cleanse my heart of fury”
Hold the cube in front of your lips and say
“May this freeze a vicious tounge”
and place the cube in your mouth until it melts.
I find this very useful when scouring the pagan tag ;) Enjoy!
