“When I left The Daily Show I thought I'd never work again. I felt like a loser. I slipped into a depressive spiral. I started doing drugs, gained 40 pounds, and pushed away a lot of good friends who were just trying to help. But three hours later, I landed a job at a new show: The Colbert Report.”
—Stephen Colbert, America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren’t
- Question: Where do you see yourself in five years?
- Stephen Colbert: Where do I see myself in five years? Right here, sir. And the whole building is crumbling around us during a 9.6 earthquake. Everybody is screaming and panicking, but not me, sir. Not me. I'm hoisting you up and slinging you over my shoulder, fireman-style. I'm carrying you down the stairs, out to the street to safety. Then you'll turn to me and thank me. I'll say 'For what, sir?' And you'll look at me in the eye as a tear falls from yours and say, 'For keeping the promise you made five years ago when I hired you'
