Darling, aren't you tired?
Darling,
Look at you.
Look at that forced smile,
that happy facade you put on.
Darling, aren’t you tired?
Darling,
You keep going,
Keep pressing on.
You’re exhausted of it, I know.
Darling, aren’t you tired?
Darling,
I can’t help but notice those scars.
They’re so deep.
Cutting has lost it’s effectiveness, hasn’t it?
Darling, aren’t you tired?
Darling,
Black tears plunge from your eyes.
Your soul is all dark,
No light is to be found.
Darling, aren’t you tired?
Darling,
You’re unloved,
Unwanted
Isolated and tortured.
Darling, aren’t you tired?
Darling,
I know you.
I’m well aware of your thoughts,
Your actions.
Darling, why don’t you stop the facade?
Darling,
Join me.
Join us, in a world,
Where you won’t have to be as tortured.
Darling, won’t you join me?
Darling, please,
Place the cold metal on your fair skin,
Tie the knot.
I can fix you.
Darling, you won’t be tired anymore.
Insecurities
She stands before a mirror,
and picks and picks and picks.
She’s fat,
she’s ugly,
Her hair is a disaster,
her eyes are too far apart,
her birthmarks fowl.
These little things eat
and gnaw
at her.
You can’t tell her she’s ugly,
it’ll make her fears come true.
But don’t tell her she’s beautiful either,
She’s not going to believe you.
This is just how things go
in the mind
of someone like
her.
The words
I don’t know the words for what I’m trying to say to you. I really don’t wanna sound cliche. But this is just the way I feel. I am really, Really, REALLY attracted to your intelligence. Like, you have no idea how much your personality keeps me tuned in, like a tv show that you’ve been waiting all day for.
I don’t wanna call it infatuation, for fear that I might scare you away. But damn your mind got me pinching myself to make sure I’m still awake.
9/23/12
My dear, your love is a planet.
I rocketed out of my solar system
and came into orbit near you,
expecting a landing sooner
rather than later.
But there was tumult in your waters.
There were wars on your lands.
Your people remembered the hurt
from the pioneers before me
and were distraught.
So, my dear, if you’re not ready, I can wait.
There’s a universe to explore, and though
i’d rather have you with me,
we can go when you’re able: later
rather than sooner.
I do want to write about you sometimes.
I mean, I do want to write nice things about you sometimes.
I mean to say that I want to write about the way I loved you,
but only because I really want to write about myself
and my magic mind
that could take your cold touch
and turn it into something soft
to make me feel loved.
I want to write about it as a reminder that I am something magic,
even if you aren’t.
But I am a little bit tired from all that loving.
I am little bit tired from giving you so many second chances.
I am a little bit tired from being treated like I’m the one on trial.
I am a little bit tired from making excuses for your self-absorption.
I am a little bit tired from defending you to my friends.
I am a little bit tired from replacing myself with you.
I am also just a little bit tired from staying out drinking and dancing and singing Stevie Nicks last night.
Tonight
My mother spent almost half an hour
Talking to me about making pasta sauce
She said,
Try to get the seeds out, but it’s okay if you can’t get them all
Especially if you use fresh tomatoes, it’s really hard
The other day I used the fire roasted, she said
That was really tasty
Don’t forget to
Cook your spices in olive oil ahead of time
Just salt
Pepper
Parsley
Oregano
Garlic
That’s pretty much all you need
Don’t use sugar to keep away the bitterness
Just use baking soda, she said
Like my mother taught me
And my grandmother taught her
There was more
I said, can you tell me this again tomorrow, mama
Sure, of course, but we’ll make some
We’ll make it together
maybe we could compare lists
of becoming young again:
I stay up too late and drink too much
I laugh much more but still never enough
there are things thrown all over the table
I write poems almost every day again
when I don’t have a tattoo that’s healing
I go running almost every day
and play games of counting lizards
I procrastinate on my stats homework
I smoke cloves again on a rare occasion
I let my laundry pile up
I let my shoes pile up by the door
I hang out with my friends until five in the morning
my co-worker buys me late birthday drinks
I go to the fair where a baby goat climbs into my lap
and everything is beautiful when the sun sets
but also I worry a little bit
I go back to kissing boys that aren’t my lover
they hold me, touch my hair, give me compliments
but I am like a stone wall and words wash off like water
I don’t dream of him anymore but still dream of that something that stuck
Dear past lovers,
Without you I wouldn’t be the young man I am today, and I thank you for that, at least for a majority of my live. The other parts of it are hurt, not just from you but from myself as a result of stretching myself to accommodate you. I know have trust issues and fears of my current love breaking up with me after one simple fight. And those parts suck. And I think the only reason why those issues are still going on is because I still think about all of you and I can’t do that anymore, because the more I think about the hurt that I went through the more visible my problems are, so now I think its time for a final goodbye, or I’ll just completely forget about our past if we’re friends, but that only applies to probably one of you so the rest, I must say goodbye to. Not just yourself, but the memories that were made, the good and especially the bad, because I want to move on and be happier, and I think this is the only way to do it.
Sincerely,
your past lover
I love this six-word memoir English assignment. The problem is, if I’m gong to read one to the whole school, it has to be memorable. So my mind’s been in creative writing mode for awhile, which is uncharted territory for me. Here are some that I’ve jotted down.
1. Wish I could love wholly, completely.
2. He’s unattainable; that’s the appeal.
3. Ambitious daydreams unfulfilled. Discontented with myself.
4. Etched my name in diamonds. Forever.
5. Tainted with insecurities. Empowered by passion.
6. Loving him makes my heart hurt.
7. Adored uncharted places. Adored unattainable treasure.
8. Injustice: wasted blood over greedy stomachs.
9. Greed and need. Wealth, lack, paranoia.
10. Drowning in the fire of him.
11. Make me your addiction. Desire me.
Barns Are Painted Red Because of the Physics of Dying Stars
blogs.smithsonianmag.comHave you ever noticed that almost every barn you have ever seen is red? Turns out there’s a reason for that that has to do with the chemistry of dying stars…
This is one of the most beautiful titles I’ve ever seen for a science brief.
I looked out the window and saw that it was raining. I went out to the backyard and inhaled the smell of heat and ozone - one of my favorite scents of all time, just for it’s rarity. I stood in the rain for a little while, barefoot and smiling, and for some reason I felt really, honestly beautiful, and I never wanted the sensation of the rain on my skin to stop.
