The Dumbest Story Ever Part 1
One day Tracey was playing Minecraft on her laptop after throwing Paul (the Beetle) across the room. She hated bugs.
The Rangers were playing the Cardinals and the goddamn Cardinals were catching up to score. Tracey didn’t care much except it was on so she suddenly wanted to watch.
As she was Tumbling while everyone was asleep, a great rapping came to the door.
Only wearing underwear and a Beatles shirt, she rose to the door to peep through the looking-hole-thing to see a cute guy in a white blouse standing outside in the rain.
“Oh no, you’re so handsome, what are you doing outside in the cold?” She opened the door, forgetting she had no pants on, and in walks Mick Ronson, because you know, that’s just how the story goes.
“It’s always cold in Hull I just want a warm place to stay ~~~~” Of course rainbows and glittery things and fags and kittens and puppies were rejoicing as she pulled him into the kitchen because wow for once the heater was on because her Dad wasn’t being a damn hardass about keeping the a/c on 24/7 in fucking october and therefore the kitchen was warm. Yet she was embarrased I mean come on her kitchen is pretty dirty.
“So do you live here?” What a stupid question, Mr. Ronson.
“Yes, of course I live here with my dad you know because I’m a MINOR- oh wait you’re not Jimmy Page, you don’t care.”
She began to cry about how Jimmy Page never came to her house anymore even though Mick did for some reason get lost and come to her door but he didn’t like underage girls and she was ugly anyways but he took her face in his hands and said “it’s okay, everything will be alright, everybody is a stupid slut in Hull now I mean come on I don’t want STDs, I will stay in America”.
So they lived in the kitchen avoiding beetles and eating pretzels and watching baseball.