“If you make fat jokes about Adele, you're being a dick, and I'm referring to you, Joan Rivers. Seth Macfarlane started it at the Oscars, but then after the Oscars, Joan Rivers tweeted, quote, 'You could easily pick Adele's statuette out of a line up because it was the only one wearing Spanx.' Then, she went on The Letterman Show and made a whole bunch of awful jokes, and included her saying, 'I've met Adele', and then she went, [puffs face/body out].
How dare you make fun of one of the best female role models on the planet for the way she looks. Adele is one of the very few women in pop music that I want my daughter to look up to, and you're making jokes about the way she looks, when you're so insecure about your own face you've spent more money on it than the producers of Life of Pi spent on that tiger!
I've met Adele and she was lovely - and hot. You, Joan Rivers, have become a jaded, bitter old mole. Get a plastic surgeon to manufacture yourself a new soul. Stop being an enormous, hypocritical, insensitive DICK.”
“I love the royal family. It's just like the best soap opera ever. You know, you've got two sons, one of whom is the perfect prince; he's the heir to the throne and is expecting a child. The other is on the front line of a battle but spends his time with half nude women in Vegas. Then mum died tragically in what some people still think is a conspiracy. And then at the top you've got a doddery old bloke and a woman who doesn't take any shit.
If you threw in three dragons and a dwarf you've got season 2 of Game of Thrones. ”
“Can we all just stop being dicks. If you’re taking a photo of a pregnant woman on a beach, you’re being a dick. Most pregnant women I’ve met wouldn’t want their photos in magazines. If you sell those photos to a magazine, you’re being a dick. You’re on a private island, you don’t need to sell photos of people you don’t know to make money. If you’re buying those photos to publish in your magazine, you’re being a dick. Don’t try to pretend it’s in the public interest when they ask why you’re doing it, be honest and say “because we’re greedy demon spawn”. And if you’re buying that magazine, you’re being a dick, because you’re contributing to the culture that perpetuates this type of behaviour. For the love of god, people, can we all just stop being dicks.”
—Adam Hills, on the photos of pregnant Kate Middleton in a bikini (from The Last Leg)