• teacher: where is your homework?
  • me: where is ed sheerans grammy?

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

  • you’re allowed to contradict yourself
  • you’re allowed to seek attention or approval
  • you’re allowed to express negative opinions
  • you’re allowed to be an ass sometimes
  • you’re allowed to talk about yourself
  • you’re allowed to fuck up
  • you’re allowed to be insecure

shout-out to that tumblr user that you can’t believe follows you

if you ever leave my door open and i have to get up and close it myself just know that’s me closing the door on our relationship forever

um the australian drinking age is 18 and the american one is 21 so hows your freedom feeling now america

when your friends dislikes the same person u dont like

image

  • student: can i borrow a pencil
  • teacher: i don't know, CAN you?
  • student: yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious
Loading more posts...