150 Bones Quotes

In celebration of the airing of the 150th episode of Bones, we’ve compiled a list of 150 quotes…one from each aired episode! Some are iconic, some are funny, some are quirky but all are classic Bones.

Enjoy…and don’t forget to tune in tonight for The Ghost in the Machine!

Well when the cops get stuck we bring in people like you. You know, squints. You know to squint at things.

If you have nothing in common, it’s difficult to sublimate intense sexual attraction.

You’re bad with people, okay. No use being offended by the fact.

Objectively I’d say I’m very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.

What helps me is to pull back emotionally. Just… put your heart in a box.

Booth doesn’t balk.

I’ve never, ever cheated on any woman that I’ve ever been with. Never!

What I feel doesn’t matter. Only she matters; only Maggie.

It’s Christmas Eve Day! Both an eve and a day…it’s a Christmas miracle!

You’re ordering a prostitute from my cell phone?

Forensic anthropologist! That’s why no gun.

No, Bones. You do fight crime. It’s not a fantasy. As far as any normal person is concerned, you do have superpowers.

She’s my partner, see. And if anything happens to her, I will find you and I will kill you. I won’t think twice.

Next time, you know, you miss me, pick up the phone, call me. We’ll do lunch..or something.

This conspiracy thing is a lot more intense when you’re in the middle of it.

I’m not nervous. I’m scared. I don’t know how to talk to crazy people unless I’m dating them.

I want you to get federal on his ass.

Listen, dude, my lab was violated; my bones were stolen, so I think I’ll remain warm for a little while longer.

Jesus is not a zombie! I shouldn’t even have to tell you that.

I find intelligence soothing.

Men aren’t like us. They’re much more fragile and needy. The fact that they think we’re the needy ones is a testament to our superiority.

I know who you are.

You’re human remains and… she hasn’t made a decision yet.

We make our lives out of chaos and hope. And love.

I’m with Bones, Cam. All the way. Don’t doubt it for a second.

He touched me with his creepy serial killer hands.

You know what Bones, it might be all anthropology to you, but there are certain people you just can’t sleep with.

You kidding? Hodgins being abducted by men in black? It’s a dream come true.

I miss normal people.

Oh you know, them boots, they ain’t made for walking sweetheart.

I knew you wouldn’t give up.

Hey, you’re my partner. It’s a guy-hug. Take it.

There’s more than one kind of family.

Every single day it’s with us, there’s this line and we can’t cross it, you know what I’m saying?

I clicked on a pop-up and got caught in a pornado.

Get it together! Start using your over-sized heads! This is the real world. Now, I know bug man here handed in his resignation. My official Justice Department recommendation is the following: we win the case, he gets his job back; we lose, Booth shoots him.

Testosterone spill on aisle four.

No bones, no Bones… I was the second “Bones.”

Can’t you just be satisfied that if I’m wrong about God, I’ll burn in hell?

I can’t fight or shoot a gun; but if something bad happens, I can spit with deadly accuracy.

This is, I wanna say anomalous, but I’m going to go with weird.

Zack’s always the murder victim.

This time, Art made Science her bitch.

Angela and Hodgins are fine, Zack is back, Cam is locked in. What I need to know, Bones, is are we solid? Because, you and me, Bones, we’re the center.

Angela Montenegro. I do facial reconstructions [nods toward Hodgins] and him.

Here we are, all of us, basically alone, separate creatures just circling each other, all searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places. Some, they just give up hope because in their mind, they’re thinking “Oh, there’s nobody out there for me.” But all of us, we keep trying, over and over again. Why? Because, every once in a while… every once in a while, two people meet, and there’s that spark. And yes, Bones, he’s handsome, and she’s beautiful, and maybe that’s all they see at first. But making love… making love… that’s when two people become one.

We’re just partners.

I concur, vehemently!

Daffodil. Daisy. Jupiter.

“Why do you always have to correct me?” “To help you evolve.”

Did you just Star Wars us?

Thanks for the gum.

Special Agent Seeley Booth. Special.

You don’t play at being a warrior. You are a warrior … every day. You’re definitely a … fully developed man.

Dancing phalanges! Dancing phalanges!

That’s a lot of heart, Bones.

Diva, forensic genius, best-selling author, better than Cyndi Lauper…

There’s… You’re correct. There’s an inconsistency in my reasoning.

Bones! They’re like the English version of me and you.

I wonder if I can get Congress to pass something like, uh, knighthood. Sir Seeley Booth. Just sounds right.

There is someone for everyone, someone you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with, all right? You just have to be open enough to see it, that’s all.

Ripley was a good dog. He didn’t want to fight, but he did it to please his master. And he didn’t want to attack a human being, but he did it — to please his master. You know, it wasn’t Ripley’s fault his master was cruel and selfish. Like all dogs, Ripley only saw the good in people. Dogs are like that. People should take a lesson.

Sarcasm does not play well on the forensic platform.

The depressed intern is quite clever.

We already have Agent Booth to make lame jokes. Let’s stick to facts.

They’ll never work. They’re, like, complete opposites.

In working with Booth, I’ve come to realize that the quiet man, the invisible man, the man who’s always there for friends and family… that’s a real alpha male. And I promise my eyes will never be caught by those shiny baubles again.

All right, what I want you to do is take off your glasses, shake out your hair and say, “Mr. Booth, do you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?”

You’re a good man, and I want that for her.

Oh, great. Right in the middle of a jurisdictional pissing contest.

I’m never gonna make you fall. I’m always here.

Any lock worth picking is worth kicking.

I don’t need a sitter. Booth gets needlessly protective sometimes. I have no idea why.

That’s my gun.

Have you ever noticed that a sunset looks more beautiful when you share it with someone that you care about?

Yes! Pinky stumps The Brain!

You know what? You’re the only smart person I really like.

Because you all want to lose yourself in another person. You believe that love is transcendent and eternal… I want to believe that, too.

What are we, the land of misfit toys?

King of the funeral!

Is it worth it? To have your own happiness so contingent on another human being?

It’s a scientific fact that their frontal lobes are the size of raisins.

You should know that better than anybody. If you keep living trying to protect yourself, nothing is ever gonna touch you.

So you’re a murderer; I’m unfaithful. We are a very exciting couple!

You’re in love with Dr. Brennan.

All elephants are gray, Agent Booth, but not all gray things are elephants.

I like it. It’s Boothy.

Yes! I will be your hamlet of 800 people or less.

Bones doesn’t feel pressure to act or do or say anything that she doesn’t want to, and no one, no one, can make her. That’s what makes her Bones.

Listen, Bones, I would do anything for you. I would die for you, I would kill for you, but I am not getting in between two best friends.

If a man can’t have the woman that he loves, he gets a bit crazy.

All right, you’ve got steel ovaries.

You need to Google “Venn diagram.”

You know what, Bones? Sometimes I think your heart muscle is bigger than people give you credit for.

You know, I won’t say anything about the scream if you don’t say anything about the gun.

You’re a good person. I will never forget what you did for him.

When Booth and I first met, I didn’t believe that such a thing as love existed. I maintained that it was simply brain chemistry, but perhaps Booth is correct. Perhaps love comes first and creates the reaction. I have no tangible proof, but I’m willing to accept Booth’s premise.

There are mysteries I will never understand, but everywhere I look I see proof that for every effect there is a corresponding cause. Even if I can’t see it. I find that reassuring.

I can still be surprised by people.

Do you believe in fate?

This is the prom I never got to go to.

Bones, you are the standard.

You should expect to be impressed by me.

Why is it that when these things happen, they always happen to the people you don’t want to see naked?

I envy your ability to substitute optimism for reality.

Booth, in a week you’re going to a war zone. Please, don’t be a hero … please, just don’t be you.

You know what? You asked my opinion, right? I’m gonna give it to you. You listening? Give yourself a chance to be happy, move on.

I just assumed that when you guys got back from your trip you’d be a real couple.

Eureka! A gathering of Guidos!

But it’s clear, and what do we say about clarity? It’s a barbarity that clarity is a rarity!

It’s not like you build up an immunity to gunshot wounds.

You had intercourse accidentally? What were you trying to do, Miss Wick?

You so much as mention leaving the country to my daughter and I will choke you on your own trivia, and stuff your lifeless body in a locker.

And don’t think of him as a kid. Just think of him as a short guy who … who’s not allowed to drink.

I got the signal, Booth. I don’t wanna have any regrets.

I’m quite beautiful.

It’s over. She can’t get to any of us anymore.

Well, it means, Bones, that, you know, you could love a lot of people in this world, but there’s only one person that you love the most.

What is it with women who just don’t want what I’m offering here?

Valentine’s Day is not a holiday. It’s just made up by these greeting card companies and florists.

From where I stand, you are good, and Broadsky’s bad.

We both have excellent stamina. Making love would be..quite satisfying.

You really are not going to stop until this Canadian foot guy is paralyzed from head to toe.

We don’t make any sense at all.

It’s amazing how people can ask me to find things, when the real treasure is something completely different all together.

To things that we don’t say.

I know how it feels not to trust anyone. People lie. But bones always tell the truth.

I got into bed with Booth last night.

I’m - I’m pregnant.

She’s having that baby so the next generation will have someone to make them feel dumb.

Oh, I got to say, Ma’am, this is the best damn job, ever.

I cop, you squint.

You do have some good memories of your father. You told me that. There was the time when the river froze and he woke you up at midnight to skating, and the time you were sweeping up at his barbershop when he put on Louis Prima and pretended that the electric razor was a microphone. And the World Series, your one perfect day together. Those good times with your dad are happening right now. They’ll always be happening. You deserve to keep those alive.

You lied to me! I could have missed this!

We have a house, Booth. You found our home.

There is a mystery to life.

I missed her so much.

You’re an airplane propeller and I’m about to walk into you so I am going to take a step back.

I thought we could search for carrion and rearticulate their skeletons. You know… a family project.

How does a baby get suspended from day care?

This is not fair. His ooky room is ookier than mine!

I love you, Booth. I don’t want you to think that Christine is the only reason we’re together.

Well look at that, Bones is back!

I love you. I’m willing to do irrational things to prove it.

Not that look, please. Don’t give me the sad eyes….You were never able to do this look before the baby. What did the baby do to you?

(The tiger) was beautiful and rare, just like you.

What-what kind of freak feels nostalgic over human sacrifices?

I can’t believe he died with no one knowing what he did.

What can I say? I’m a romantic, Bones.

The spark plug you married conducted an unfettered sex life and-and never lived anywhere for more than a couple of years. You want her back around?

YES! Bones up to a 4.9/8 in the early ratings for Ghost in the Machine, compared to 4.8/7 last week!

We got a 2.4 demo last week, but I’m just hoping for a 2.2+ demo. Anything higher will be icing on the cake for this phenomenal episode!

Probably the deepest, most realest scene on Family Guy ever.

Stewie: It’s just weird, you know? You’re the last person anybody would expect to have a gun!

Brian:  That’s why I keep it here, where it’s safe. 

Stewie: That doesn’t make any sense. Why have it if you’re not going to use it?

Brian: I really don’t want to talk about this with you, Stewie.

Stewie: But I want to know, just tell me. Come on. 

Brian: No

Stewie: Come on, please?

Brian: (sigh) I keep it in case ..I ever want to commit suicide, okay?

Stewie: Wow. Oh, oh my god. You’re serious, but why Brian?

Brian: You wouldn’t understand, you’re just a kid. 

Stewie: I could try. 

Brian: I don’t know. Sometimes it’s all too much. 

Stewie: What is?

Brian: Life, everything. Just having the gun here, knowing there’s a way out, it ..it helps.