• teacher: where is your homework?
  • me: where is ed sheerans grammy?

What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick

raise your hand if you’ve ever been disgusted by your own fandom…

im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names

OMG so I just figured out the word “hurt”

it’s past, present and future

you will be hurt

you are hurt

you were hurt

BECAUSE IF SOMETHING TRULY HURT, IT NEVER REALLY STOPS

i love how men mock women for being overemotional and then lose their shit over a team losing an over-glorified game of fetch 

I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry

john green takes a shower

john clean

we put all our faith into a website that isn’t even spelled correctly

what if we are reincarnated when we die and when we’re babies we still remember who we used to be and that’s why we cry so much as babies, because our old lives and friends are gone ..and the older we get we start to forget who we used to be in a previous life.

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