Rachel Berry - Submission Three.

Today I discovered who I am, at least to an extent. I’m an ambitious, well educated, selfish, brunette. Who given the first opportunity will betray everyone she apparently cares for. Now Barbra, you’re probably wondering (if you suddenly turn into the diary of Tom Riddle –The very soul corrupting black book from the Harry Potter series which unfortunately results in the almost death of Harry’s future wife. But we’re not here to talk about, Harry Potter. Sorry to get your hopes up) how any of what I’ve just spoken about relates to the quote I so proudly wrote at the top of this entry, I’m going to be honest with you. It means absolutely nothing at this current point of my entry, but you’ll see as the article –which is what I’ve decided to refer to these journal entries as. Goes on, that I’ll in fact explain how me finding myself relates to the inspirational quote by one Walt Disney.

Anyway, as I said. Today I found myself – or perhaps it was last night that I truly discovered who I was, but then again I don’t really recall much of what occurred with Mr St. James –Though he is being the right tease about it and I’m fighting every single cell in my body in order to prevent myself from asking him what it was that went down between us. Unfortunately for me that just means that I have quite large black holes in my memory, though I’m sure eventually they’re start to clear up and I’ll remember exactly what went down –warning number three thousand nine hundred and eighty two. DO NOT DRINK.  Once again I’ve managed to find a way to get of the topic at hand and for that, my avid fans, I am awfully sorry. 

I’m a selfish. Ambitious. Betrayer.

That’s the easiest way to explain what it is that I’ve been trying to tell you over the last three hundred words –which as per usual I’ve managed to find a least ten possible different routes that I could take in order to achieve the end. Why I constantly feel as though I need to explain in explicit detail about that in which I’m discussing I’ll never fully understand.

Now.

What was I saying again?

Oh, right. Today I finally found myself.

And not in the way where “Oh look there is the love of my life, I best run off and marry them right away”. No, nothing as completely barbaric and plain stupid as that. 

Today I realised what type of person I am.

I’m someone whom given the chance would rat on everyone I am meant to love in order for a chance to fulfil my dreams and become the vibrant golden star I was destined to become –Thanks to the previously mentioned Charming –No, I’m sorry. I’m still not quite ready to reviel who that is. Though I suppose if you were the diary from Harry Potter you’d already know who he was and probably would have compelled me to calling him by his true name and not the strange pet name I came up with –Speaking of pet names, I despise them with a passion. The other morning I woke up with a rather large headache and I realised that I was completely disgusted with the pet name of “baby” in my dream I remember someone…let’s call him, Stud. So I remember Stud and I were driving around and he, out of nowhere, called me baby and I literally wanted to strangle him –I was so completely angry. I have no idea why, but that particular petname and anything that’s a derivative of that “babe, Babbbbie, Bub” make me literally want to hang the first person I see. They drive me bonkers.

You’re probably still thinking, how does any of this relate to the magic of Walt Disney? Well, Barbra. It just does okay. The quote clearly states “courage to pursue them” in regards to dreams and if we wish for them to be fulfilled at any point in our life times and I suppose that in finding myself and doing something I originally was nighty nine precent “OUT OF THE QUESTION” I realised that I do in fact have the courage –to risk everything I have – in order to gain back everything I lost which in turn fulfils my dreams.  

It’s something that everyone would do right? Given the chance, I assume that anyone that I know had they been in my position would do the exact same thing I’m doing right now. Right?

At least…That’s what I tell myself in order to sleep at night.

P.S

My Christmas was lovely –I simply cannot wait for New Years.