Submitted by anon:

Sorry this is long. As a 13 year old high school freshman, I was the only girl in a shop class of around 40. The entire semester, the boys would say nasty sexual comments to me. They would grope me, rub my thighs, slap my butt, grab my butt and shake it, and pick me up. It became the cool thing to do and most of the boys had done something harmful to me at least once. Many of them were repeat offenders. I couldn’t get them to stop. This had a great impact on my already low self esteem and pushed my depression to be even worse. The teacher didn’t want me in the class in the first place, so I didn’t feel safe going to him for help. I was too embarrassed to talk to my parents about it. I didn’t feel going to the school administration was going to help because they openly have a “boys will be boys” attitude about sexual harassment. I knew what was going on was not ok, but I didn’t see anything I could do to help the situation. It’s hard to not be angry at myself for letting it happen and not doing anything about it even though I know I shouldn’t blame myself.

Anon, I’m so sorry. You didn’t let this happen; you were one person against 40. This was not your fault. Thank you for sharing this story with us.

Submitted by anon:

When I started seventh grade I changed schools and went from an environment with very little bullying with a supportive and watchful teacher, to an environment filled with bullying and the chaos of ever-changing teachers. This new class had never had a new pupil but they had had over 15 teachers over the past 6 years. I was bullied a lot. A group of boys singled me out and would chase me down hallways. They ruined my jacket and once the “leader” of their little gang pushed me up against the wall and started touching my breast (what little there were of them then), Then he roughly pushed a hand down my pants and into my underwear. I can’t remember if he went inside me or just touched the outside, but I can remember finding blood later and a scratch on my labia that wouldn’t heal for weeks and would burn. I didn’t tell anyone back then. Now I don’t hate him anymore… I don’t know when it changed. I just kind of forgave him. Not his actions and not my not-rape, but him, the kid who was probably abused himself. I know he was neglected, but I don’t know much more than that. I don’t know what has happened to him since. I kind of don’t want to know. I might not forgive the man he is now. That was ten years ago and telling this blog is the third time I’m telling my story. The first time I told it was 1 month ago. Just one final word on my experience with not-rape: I can never forgive the administrators and teachers of the school I attended when the bullying and not-rape happened to me. They didn’t know about the not-rape, but they knew the learning environment wasn’t a safe place. They were suppose to protect us, the kids. I wasn’t the only one bullied. They didn’t do anything useful to protect us. I wouldn’t wish for anyone to attend a school like that. They didn’t live up to their responsibilities.

I think your way of dealing with this, who you will forgive and who you won’t, is a healthy one. Thank you for sharing this.

This was submitted by stay—in—bed:

Thanks so much for letting people submit their non-rape stories. The validation of someone saying that what happened to you was wrong really helps the healing process, especially when a lot of us never got that from the people around us.

My story happened a few years ago, on my 21st birthday. I had a house party and invited only my very best friends. As it was my 21st I obviously got pretty drunk and my best male friend eventually put me to bed. For some reason he got in the bed with me. I’ll never know what really happened that night, all I remember is waking up for about 30 seconds and his hand was between my legs. I was passed out and he thought it was ok to touch me. This was someone that was meant to be able to trust.

It’s my pleasure to give people a space to share their stories. :) Thank you for being brave enough to share this with us.

No screencapping due to length…

[I was 14 and he was 25. He was a friend of the family and we somewhat spoke a few times. I was in that phase where I wanted to try everything and I wanted to grow up fast. I never expected anything to happen between us being that he was way older. But one day we were alone and he kissed me. I was shocked and I didnt react. So I just got up and left. Slowly he started getting closer to me. Talking to me more telling me he liked me. So I somewhat agreed to return his advances. One night, it was new years and i was drinking. And he drove us to an isolated place and we kissed and he tried touching me. I told him no. I had never had anyone touch me there and I was just confused, so he drove me home. At that time I had a best friend who had been raped when she was 7. As a result of that she was very promiscuous and had no problem having intercourse with someone she had just met. She constantly told me I should lose my virginity. And I wanted to be like her. She was much more experienced than i was. She advised me to lose my virginity to this man. And so one day he mentioned it to me and I told him okay. He picked me up one day and I didnt know where we were going. He took me to a motel and thats when I knew it was going to happen. I freaking out the whole time we were walking to the room. When we got there I told him I didnt want to do it one reason being that I had my period and I also wasnt ready. He said he already paid the room so we would have to use it. He proceeded to have sex with me for two hours. It was the most horrible experience of my life. I didnt love this man, he didnt love me and he took something precious from me. I never had sex with him again after that. I didnt return his calls or anything. I will regret that my whole life. I wish I wouldve waited. I wish it wouldve been different, someone different. Im not sure if it was rape or not. But I know he manipulated me. I know that if I had been older and wiser I wouldnt have done it.]

It was rape. You were under the age of consent AND you said you didn’t want to. Thank you for sharing this painful story with us.

Not screencapped because I believe the second message was accidentally sent un-anon.

[When I was at a party at age 17 or 18, one of the (significantly older) dudes kept on creeping up on me because I have big boobs. Eventually I got tired (alcohol makes me sleepy) and asked my friend for her car keys so I could nap in her car (we were in the woods, basically). After napping there a while, i had locked the car from the inside, someone knocks outside. It was the creepy dude but I didn’t realize until I had opened the car’s locks, sleepily. He then got in and started being all physical, without my consent. I told him not to. He even laid his head on my chest/breasts. It was freaking creepy. The worst part is that I don’t even remember what happens next. I am relatively sure nothing happened (really, 90% sure) but the fact that i am not 100% is creeping up on me often.]

I hope it was nothing further, too. This was bad enough. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[When I was 17, my boyfriend was having troubles at home so we moved into our own place. He immediately tried to control every aspect of my life and even though my name was solely on the lease, I decided after a month I would move and suffer paying his rent for a year. Days before the move, I was napping and awoke to him behind me, penetrating me. I was too scared to say anything or stop him..I left in haste with none of my belongings in the morning. 13 years later, that memory makes me sick.]

That is horrible. I am so glad you were able to get away and stop the abuse from continuing. Thank you for sharing this with us.