cap 3 civil war is like a that party that was supposed to just a few friends but everyone you invited invited ten guests of their own and they all brought friends and now it’s just a bunch of strangers destroying your stuff and your cousin’s pot dealer named scooter won’t stop eyeing the fine silver


A very sharply dressed…person, who upon closer inspection turned out to be woman, stood in front of a very nice restaurant she frequented wearing a very very nice suit.  She was taller than most women, and her suit was impeccable even if it was masculine in cut.  Her hair looked oddly punk with that purple streak in it, but her features did reveal some resemblance to her 1p.

She checked a thin silver watch.  This was probably not a good idea, but Princess had begged for a month and she’d finally given in.  A blind date.  Really?

You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be alright. You’re going to do just fine. You’re so much stronger than the monsters that fester inside you. You just have to have a little faith. A little silver lining. A little hope that you’ll be alright. 

So, how about a Bagginshield You’ve Got Mail inspired AU?

  • Thorin runs the old family bookshop, with Dwalin, Balin, Nori and Bofur.
  • They specialise in selling antiquarian and hard to find books.
  • Thorin’s pride and joy is his antique atlas (turn of the 19th century). He has no idea how the fuck to read any of the maps, but it looks gorgeous.
  • Fili and Kili make regular appearances.
  • Dwalin is often on the till/register and terrifies some customers. Some people dare to look confused at this huge, burly tattooed man hulking behind this antique brass till, but he can quote them into submission. He has a masters in literature. His favourite is Jane Austen.
  • In the summers, Nori’s younger brother Ori helps around the shop. He loves books, but is currently studying linguistics at uni/college
  • This is the 90′s so everyone has iffy fashion. Just kidding, everyone looks gorgeous. 
  • Fili and Kili are true nineties kids, Disney silver age et al.
  • Dwalin does not like Clueless, what are you talking about? As if!
  • Bilbo owns Bag-End Books which is a small-ish chain of bookstores that have just opened up a new store in the area.
  • Thorin vows to dislike him because he’s a competitor and a chain store at that but Bag-End is nice and cosy and let’s face it, Bilbo is rather handsome.
  • But Thorin is Thorin and he says something a little…impolite so they don’t get off to a great start.
  • But that’s okay because he has his mystery internet pen-friend, who is funny and sarcastic and utterly charming.
  • Yay clunky computers with bad graphics and dial-up internet!
  • He may or may not go through a crisis at one point because he may or may not be falling for two people at the same time.
  • He is mainly confused as to how Bilbo actually inserted himself in his life
  • Thorin thinks he should blame Gandalf, he’s not sure why, but Gandalf always feels like a safe bet when one is picking out suspects for committing conspiracy. 
  • Although it probably had more to do with the day Bilbo brought his nephew in and Fili and Kili also happened to be in the shop
  • His nephews are his weakness and his nephews love Bilbo
  • It all works out okay though because lo and behold! Bilbo and barrel-rider (and doesn’t that nickname have an interesting story behind it?) are one and the same

Right I’m going back to revision now, work avoidance over.

I’ll probably be back in an hour, let’s be honest