Client: We would like a fully interactive website for our members. We have already created a lot of the content and we have put together a couple of CDs full of images from our archives for you to choose from. However, one thing that annoys me about websites is this whole ‘scrolling’ thing. I find scrolling really annoying. Would it be possible for you to build a side that doesn’t scroll?

Me: … Um, I’m not sure I understand. Do you mean when the page is too wide and you have to scroll right to read all the text?

Client: No, I mean scrolling down the page.

I wasn’t sure how to respond. At this point, the client’s secretary interjects to point out to the client that websites have to scroll, or they don’t really work.

Client: Yes, but our brochures don’t scroll and they contain lots of information.

The secretary and I stared, speechless.

Client: Well OK, we can come back to that later.

The client finally got the new site, and even though you had to scroll, was very pleased with it.

Client: Hey, can you fix this panorama for me?

Me: Sure, email it to me.

I receive a very small resolution (probably 400 pixels wide) panorama picture.

Me: Ok what’s wrong with it? Besides being so small, anyway?

Client: I need that border taken off.

There’s no border, though there are some pixels kind of messed up around the very edge so I clean those up and send it back.

Client: It looks exactly the same, can’t you take off the border?

I ask the client to open the picture on his computer and show me the border he’s talking about. He opens the picture in his internet browser and points to the grey default Firefox background that is displayed around pictures.

Client: THAT border!

Client: We definitely like the design, but we were wondering if you could provide us with a second version.

Me: Sure. What were you thinking?

Client: Take the same design you have now, but put the call to action in a speech bubble, as if it was coming from the talent. But! Make sure that the speech bubble looks real.

Me: You want to call to action in a speech bubble, but you want the speech bubble to look real?

Client: Yeah, a real looking speech bubble. Not like the ones you see in a comic book or anything like that - a realistic speech bubble.

Me: A realistic looking speech bubble? I’m not sure what that would look like.

Client: Like a real speech bubble!

Me: Like this one floating over my head?

Client: What? There’s nothing there…

Me: Because speech bubbles aren’t real. 

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5:16)

If you have need of prayer and would like our community on Facebook to pray for you, please email your requests to: naeemcallaway@yahoo.com. If you would like to stay “anonymous” please state in your email. We will post all requests on Facebook!

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I’m a photographer, reviewing a set of portraits delivered to a client.

Client: I don’t like it.

Me: What don’t you like about it?

Client: It needs more…oooomph.

Me: You asked for a light and airy feel, and you wore all white and wanted a white background…

Client: You should have told me what I wanted.