zrec

I have an unusual fic rec I wanna share with you guys. I read it one week ago when it was first posted, but because of the way it affected me, it’s taken a while for me to decide whether I love or hate it.

But here goes:

With Delayed Expression by Idday

“I have… well… she said that she thinks that I maybe have… PTSD?”

The line goes so dead that Derek almost thinks Stiles hung up on him. He waits eight very quiet seconds, and says softly, “Stiles?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Stiles says, breath whooshing back over the phone line.

“I have PTSD,” Derek says more firmly. It’s the first time he’s said it out loud, not as a question. It hasn’t really seemed real, until now. He’d spent the whole of his last session arguing that Tamara was wrong about him, and saying it out loud is like admitting it’s true. “Post-traumatic stress dis—”

“I know what it means,” Stiles interrupts, “I just didn’t think I’d heard right. Oh my God.”

10,397  |  M  |  CANON

Because here’s the thing: I was diagnosed with PTSD last year, by my new psychologist who said I’ve been misdiagnosed for the past five years. Problem is that I don’t think I ever landed in the fact that I have PTSD. I kinda just brushed it off, didn’t read into it, didn’t think about it, and I didn’t continue with the treatment very long after that because I thought I was fine.

This fic turned my whole life upside down, again, and I had my first panic attack in a long time just the other day because it just dawned to me that I’m basically Derek in it. It’s not what I expected when first starting to read this fic, and I didn’t expect crying through most of it but it really hit home.

So thanks to this fic, I’ve spent my sleepless nights researching PTSD and learning the symptoms, recognizing most of them, and finally accepted that I do indeed still suffer from it. I’m not completely fine. There’s a reason I don’t function like I should/want to. I still haven’t recovered from the trauma I went through because I haven’t been treated for it. I’ve adapted to it, just like Derek.

I finally gathered the courage to sit down with my family tonight and tell them about this, admit it to them. It was the hardest thing I’ve done all year, and I’m not feeling at my best right now, but I know it’ll be okay.

Our fandom has accomplished many amazing things, but personally this fic has helped me reach a point I otherwise wouldn’t have, and while it’s made me feel all kinds of things the last few days (anger, sadness, fear, shame) I’m still grateful that I stumbled upon it.

A Sterek fic made me accept my mental illness. That’s something.

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Jar - Dzisiaj wieczór krótki

Jar me lembra muito Zrec. Apesar de Jar ser polonês e Zrec Checo, as bandas possuem um “folk muito semelhante”. Ainda que Zrec foque-se mais no metal enquanto Jar limite-se mais ao post-folk.

As músicas do álbum Mala Nocka não são animadas. Elas podem ser consideradas alegóricas, como é o caso de Dzisiaj wieczór krótki, com gaita de fole e outros instrumentos de percussão. Mas animadas, não. A minha favorita e talvez a mais triste do álbum é Kupalnocka.

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Žrec- Paměti

Alright since all I got was cooking things let’s shed some light on this band! From the Czech Republic. Enjoy!

Running Towards You by SnowshadowAO3

“It’s 2 A.M.,” Derek says. “What are you doing here?”

Stiles turns to him with raised eyebrows. “We haven’t finished Harry Potter,” he says, as if it’s obvious, and Derek just stares at him. “I mean, if you don’t want to know what happens with Fluffy and the dragon, fine. But I personally think that the plot only gets better from here.“

In which Derek and Stiles are both broken, but it takes a few paperback novels for them to realize that it makes them fit together just right.

31,208  |  M  |  CANON

Absolutely beautiful. Slow and sweet build. Handles both their PTSD really well.

Fly a Little Faster by mirrorkill

Everyone knows when you go back in time, you shouldn’t step on an ant, just in case you accidentally kill your own grandparent or something. But what happens when you go back in time and, uh, accidentally interrupt the one event that apparently made the Grumpiest Alpha in Town into a ball of mindless manpain?

Well, if Marty McFly can do it, so can Stiles Stilinski. All he has to do is get Derek and Paige to fall in love before he gets pulled back to his own time. And before he makes anything worse. That’s easy as pie, right? Right?

32,052  |  T  |  CANON

Genius time travel fic. Bunch of Derek/Hale feels. Adorable and funny.

The Chase by saltandbyrne

Derek’s fourth Chase will be his last if he doesn’t catch an omega this time. He’s starting to doubt this whole soul-mate thing anyway, at least until someone from his past shows up and gives him the run of his life.

10,435  |  E  |  AU

Hottest and most interesting alpha/beta/omega dynamic I’ve read.

Cornerstone by Vendelin

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

83,738  |  E  |  AU

Beautiful. Such a well made AU. Fresh and different from most I’ve read.

Losers by stilinskisparkles

Where Derek is new to college, eager to spend his time learning, and Stiles is everything he didn’t want in a room mate. He’s loud, he’s into sports, and he keeps trying to make Derek do things.

Or the one where Derek falls for a jock, Erica will cut you if you disturb her studying, and Jackson is a closeted romantic who pretends to hate everything.

34,234  |  M  |  AU

All hail the college AU with oblivious roommates pining for each other.

By Any Other Name by entanglednow

He doesn’t know his name, he doesn’t know who he is, and neither does the werewolf he’s on the run with. But he’s pretty sure they hunt monsters, because they seem to be really good at it.

33,090  |  E  |  CANON

Derek and Stiles both lose their memory. Exciting and hot.

our lives are changing lanes by grimm

There’s a lot of screaming going on inside the first house Stiles visits. He isn’t really worried, because it sounds like kids, but then the door opens and hi, says his dick, because the dude in front of him is gorgeous, built like a god with a face like thunder. Stiles wants to lick that solid jaw line. Hold the fuck on, says his cop brain, because the dude’s got kids hanging all over him; one’s on his back, skinny legs looped around his waist, and another two hanging off one arm, toes barely brushing the ground. There’s a tubby toddler clinging to his leg like a koala, and he’s got a baby tucked into the crook of the one arm that doesn’t have kids hanging off it. Stiles’ mouth drops open.

“How many of those kids did you kidnap?” he asks before he can wrangle his brain into submission.

47,537  |  E  |  AU

I love this unconditionally. Single dad!Derek and cop!Stiles. FLUFF!

By Moon And Stars by kellifer_fic

“Have you heard of this Alpha?” Stiles asks, shuffling up his pallet so Scott has room to sit. Scott does with a grateful little twist of his mouth. Stefan forces him into the Stilinski ceremonial armor when they travel and Stiles can see that it’s heavy and doesn’t sit well on Scott. He can’t shift encased in metal and Stefan knows it.

“I know of him, mostly stories that seem a little fantastical. Shifters exaggerate just like common people. They like their war stories.”

“Tell me of him. Tell me a war story.”

15,929  |  M  |  AU

I will forever be upset this isn’t 50k longer. Game of Thrones AU. Flawless.

Hold the Door by Hatteress, maichan808

When Derek is killed by a rival alpha, the pack will stop at nothing to get him back. Even if that means blackmailing the most dangerous hunter duo this side of hell. Whatever. That whole devil thing was probably totally exaggerated, anyway.

16,700  |  T  |  CANON

Superwolf. This is brilliant. If you love both shows then this is a must read.