누가 가짜인 건가
이렇게 허전한데
이렇게 외로운데
이렇게 아픈데
그대들은 아름답게 웃어요
진실성이 없는 그 미소는
나를 썩게 한다

Who is fake
Feeling empty
Feeling lonely
Feeling sick
and you smile beautifully
That untruthful smile
make me dusty and rotten

Self Portrait
(Surrealistic style)

“Last Pack, I Swear” 6/?

I do not smoke. And I believe smoking is extremely unhealthy. I do recommend people not to smoke. But some people take it offensively. I didn’t mean to be offensive; it’s their, -your personal choice and as a person who does not like to argue, let’s leave it at that.

I am really bad at explaining what I try to portray or give message. Usually, I  want the audience interpret as they wish. But I definitely didn’t want people to see this photo as “something cool” because of smoking.

Habit is something scary, so hard to change. I hope the title gives it away, “Last Pack, I Swear.” I know some people around me who want to quit smoking but it is really hard for them. They say it is their last pack but next day, they end up buying a new pack of cigarettes, claiming it is their real last pack. Once you start have a habit of smoking, it is really hard to quit. This does not only apply to smoking but various things.

For example, whenever I get a box of chocolates, I always say, “this is going to be my last piece” after eating half of it. And then I eat one more and I repeat the same process. Next thing, I know I finished the whole box of chocolate by myself in one day. I am also like that with TV shows. I heard Pushing Daises is pretty good (and it was). I ended up watching whole two seasons in three days, staying up until 4AM during Spring Break. Whenever I started next episode, I told myself that it is going to be my last episode for today but always ended up watching 4, 5 episodes more.

It is really hard to break the cycle. Rather than saying, “one last time,” you, -or I, should stop right now. No more starting tomorrow. No more giving myself one more chance.