• Listen

For Baltimore (Acoustic) - All Time Low - Layered Version

The song starts on the right ear before coming in on the left ear a few seconds later. This creates a layered affect

Please wear headphones / earbuds to get the full experience !!

(I do not own this song but I own the edit so please dont remove credit ! )

     I’ve never been someone who can read the same book more than once, twice at the most. I can never read the same book every year, no matter how much I love that book. I always find myself skipping to the dialogue, or skipping the boring chapters altogether, because I’ve read it before and it wasn’t worth wasting my time on things I knew were uninteresting. I’ve tried to force myself to commit to reading a book more than once, but my mind starts to wander during everything but the climax.

     We used to sit in her bedroom and do homework, her old Fall Out Boy, Green Day, or Blink vinyls playing in the peripheral of our minds. On Friday nights whatever was playing was just background noise, and we were the main focus. Just listening to her talk was everything I needed. She used to yell about the annoying kid who always, without fail, sat behind her everyday in math and poked her with his pen. She would swoon over how cute I looked, giggling when she made me blush. She was intense, and I loved it. She could probably rant about how much she hates me and I’d still be mesmerized by the way her lips moved.

     But something changed, and the music became just a little louder, our homework became just a little more interesting, Fridays became a little more silent. She didn’t yell about the kid who sat behind her in math, but I knew that it wasn’t because he had stopping poking her. She told me I looked good, but never cute, and my cheeks didn’t ever tint the same color red as they used to. She wasn’t intense with anything but her unsureness, and everything started to feel forced, and old, and boring.

     Her room looked the same, no matter how much she changed it, and I didn’t feel at home lying in her sheets. Her breathing next to me didn’t stop the anxiety that bubbled in my stomach anymore. I wasn’t safe; I wasn’t in danger- but I wasn’t comfortable like I used to be with her.

     The last time I saw her, she wasn’t the girl who slapped the kid in math for poking her, she wasn’t the girl who loved nothing more than to make me feel good about myself, she wasn’t the girl who loved everything with a breathtaking intensity. She was a pretty face in a crowd of pretty faces. She didn’t stand out, except that I remembered the light that used to shine in her eyes, and for a second, I swore it was back again.

     I spent a long time wondering what happened, why our love changed. I’ve always hated science and math because the majority of me is a post-modernist, and I cannot accept definite truths.

     In the end, all I could come up with was the vinyls. No matter which one we put on, we’d both heard it so many times. Expectations developed, we always knew which song would come on next. We never got the chance to sit up and grin at one another, screaming about how much we loved this song, because after a few times of listening to the records, we both knew which songs the other loved. Maybe the downfall of our love was as simple as not going to the record store to pick out something new.

     I’ve never been someone who can read the same book more than once, twice at the most.

Long Live the Reckless and the Brave.

     If I am driving, I pick what music plays in the car. More than likely, it will be the playlist of 78 songs by one band. The title of said playlist is, “My Soundtrack.” Their lyrics form half of a butterfly on my left shoulder blade and will remain there for my entire life - being touched up when necessary. Posters of these four boys are hanging in my bedroom ranging from their start to last month. If you look in my “memory box” hid in the corner under some blankets, you will find 5 ticket stubs and stacks upon stacks of pictures from when I saw them perform live. I have never met them - yet they mean more to me than most things in my life.
     The band goes by the name of All Time Low. They are from Baltimore, Maryland and their members are Alex Gaskarth, Jack Barakat, Rian Dawson, and Zack Merrick. Songs by All Time Low can range in inspirations from parties, alcohol, love, deception, loss, anxiety, and what I consider Anthems. My older sister got a mixtape from one of her friends back in 2006. Two songs by All Time Low were on it, “Coffee Shop Soundtrack,” and “Jasey Rae.” As cliche as it sounds, it was love at first listen. I fell in love with this band. I bought all of their EPs and albums, I watched their interviews on Youtube, I was too young to go to shows at the time so I was going to support them anyway I knew how.
    Music has always been an escape for me - a way of ignoring my problems for a bit. I’ve always been a procrastinator. The problem with that is, eventually everything catches up to you. When everything catches up to you, it hits you like a semi-truck. You didn’t leave yourself any time to prepare for it. Suddenly, you’re spiraling out of control and sometimes, you think the easiest thing to do is let go of the wheel. But it’s not. You’ve got to hold on and reach out for the little bit of sanity you have left.
    All Time Low taught me that sometimes things don’t go the way you want. You’re going to have bad days but that’s okay because a bad day doesn’t mean a bad life - Weightless. Growing up isn’t always fun but that doesn’t mean you can’t be a kid at heart - Stay Awake (Dreams Only Last For a Night). If you want to love or be loved, you have to let people in even if it’s scary - Walls. Times might get tough but you can get through it - Therapy. If you want something bad enough and are willing to work towards it, you can accomplish great things - So Long Soldier. Lastly, they taught me that you deserve to be alive, because even if you might not know it at the time, someone out there is rooting for you - Missing You.
     My dad still isn’t crazy about my tattoo. He says he doesn’t believe in anything strong enough to have it on his body forever. When I told him what I had done, he asked what happens if I don’t love the song anymore. I didn’t know how to explain to him that I didn’t get it because of a song. I got it because of a band. I didn’t get it because of how much I love them. I got it because of how much they’ve done for me. This isn’t about me. It’s about them. 

I’ve never made a bet but we gamble with desire.