I’ve been trying to convince myself of this ever since you left me, and there were days when I truly did start to believe it but when I was honest with myself I knew that I still wanted you. -
I wanted you to want me. I wanted you to miss me. I wanted you to fight for me, and I wanted it so desperately that I made myself believe that it wasn’t that you didn’t want me but that you just wernt strong enough to fight for me - you were too weak and too broken and so I had to step up to the plate if I wanted to be with you. I had to fight for you and I did bc I thought that fighting for you would be a way to prove myself to you, a way to make you want me: to want me more than you wanted her. But I was just fighting a battle that was already over. She had already won and there’s was nothing left for me but I didn’t want to admit it.
Today, now, at this moment I know what Ive known deep down all along, you will never be mine again. And if the day does come where you walk back into my life, I now know that I don’t want you. I don’t want someone that I have to prove my worth too, i dont want someone that looks at me and sees someone else.
I told myself I still wasted you because we were so perfect and I couldn’t find someone else but the thing is I can!! And I won’t find what’s right if I look in the wrong places. Now I am
Strog, now I am happy. And just as they say time heals all wounds. And I can finally remove the bandaid now that I am noo longer damaged