Chris stood in the elevator, glancing over at the man who was in the elevator with him. He had never spoken to the man but he knew who it was. It was Isaac’s dad. Isaac’s abusive dad. He had a problem with people who abused their kids but he had enough self control to not say anything. Suddenly there was a bump and the lift shook a little. Chris frowned and pushed the button though nothing happened. Great, they were stuck.

Mr. Lahey mostly stared straight ahead in the elevator. He only glanced over at the other man once or twice. He had never met him, and he didn’t recognize his face, but that was all the more reason for him not to acknowledge him unless absolutely necessary. He’d be off the elevator in a few moments anyhow, so it didn’t really matter. That was, until the lift shook a little and stopped. He saw the man push the button and frowned a little when nothing happened. Wonderful. They were stuck.

He really needed to get to his car so he could get to the high school, or he was going to be late getting back. Because of this, he reached over and tried another button on the panel, to no avail. He then looked to the other man, still frowning.

grantxire said:

" i wish you'd never been born !! "

! ** shout something at my character.


                                               It — ought to hurt more than it does,
                                              which isn’t to say that it doesn’t hurt.

                                                               ( It does. It hurts.

   It hurts down to his toes; this bitter ache that Enjolras can’t seem to
shake, a vacant need left unstated for too long, endured in solitude. It
hurts like hell — to be left this unattended to, to be someone that isn’t
familiar to his friends, his family, his people. To want love. To want to
love and be loved in return, and to want it from one soul and one soul
alone. Oh -  to have been ensnared with his heart left vulnerably upon
that of his sleeve; bleeding out as he devotes himself to revolution.. &
tries, Lord he tries, to be an inherently ( good ) man ——— it hurts.

 But he manages to stand his ground.. idealistic head held high, chin
proud and upturned.  There may be a knot in his throat, a fluttering in
his stomach and ache in that arctic stare, but there will not be another
instance of Enjolras running away.

 Burdened blues find Grantaire reluctantly, a form smudged with oils
and charcoal, a composition in chaos - a rhapsody in wreckage that
threatens to simply ( vanish ) one day altogether. He has never quite
liked the apathetic artist; having fallen in - love with R is nothing less
than an inconvenience…  and Enjolras welcomes to the extra stress.

                                He’s been considered a chaste ice prince
                                for so long.. even he doesn’t know how to
                                    let himself thaw, melt, with Grantaire. 

        ‘No. You wish that you had never been born. 

 The response falls heavy and blunt between them and he isn’t sorry
for speaking his mind; the tumultuous two had been bickering all eve.
Enjolras jealous out of his mind that R gets to be the  brokenhearted,
that he can speak so freely of his regrets and hurt when — the words
haven’t as much as begun to leave Enjolras’ mouth yet. That he was
in love.  That he is in love.  And really quite scared of changing who
he is because of it. 
Jealous that easy lips may fall across the artist’s
throat. Might know the touch of Grantaire without being terrified.

         Ah. And there it is  Enjolras is terrified of being terrified.
                        —— terrified of being anything but the leader
                                                   he is needed to be.

 It’s takes what courage is left in his anarchic heart to power forward
and meet the other —— carefully taking his hand to thread trembling
fingers between Grantaire’s stained. Rebelling against his own fear.

                   ‘ But.. I am thankful enough, for your being here
                                                             ‘ —— for the both of us. 

Watch on

Aftermath - Hillsong


The lyrics explain the song beautifully. It contains many truths that I needed to hear this week. Thank you, Jesus.


The skies lay low where You are
On the earth You rest Your feet
Yet the hands that cradle the stars
Are the hands that bled for me

In a moment of glorious surrender
You were broken for all the world to see
Lifted out of the ashes
I am found in the aftermath

Freedom found in Your scars
In Your grace my life redeemed
For You chose to take the sinner’s crown
As You placed Your crown on me

In that moment of glorious surrender
Was the moment You broke the chains in me
Lifted out of the ashes
I am found in the aftermath

And in that moment You opened up the heavens
To the broken the beggar and the thief
Lifted out of the wreckage
I find hope in the aftermath

And I know that You’re with me
Yes I know that You’re with me here
And I know Your love will light the way

Now all I have I count it all as loss
But to know You and to carry the cross
Knowing I’m found
In the light of the aftermath