“Did you mean it?”
Sam blinks into the darkness, turning to face Dean in bed.
“Mean what?” He whispers.
He’s glad its dark, he’s having trouble looking Dean in the eye lately. His stomach rolls and he bites at his lip when he tries.
“What you said earlier. In the cabin,” Dean swallows, his voice shot.
What? That Sam can’t lose him? Can’t go on knowing Dean is a demon again, that he failed again?
“Yes. You know I did, I do,” Sam whispers back, his long fingers finding their way to his brothers scruffy face.
He feels Dean close his eyes slowly, letting Sam map out the strong jaw, his lips, his eyes.
“I know you doubt yourself, Dean. I doubt myself. I understand,” Sam says softly.
Dean grunts in embarrassment but only pulls Sam close with an arm around his waist so he can shove his face into his little brothers neck.
“I just need you to believe in me, in us,” he sighs and wraps his arms around Dean’s head, carding fingers into soft hair.
“I do. I do believe in us. I’m just…I don’t trust all these spell books and people who say they can help me. It’ll all back fire, baby,” Dean murmurs into his neck.
Sam thinks about his plan. What he’s about to do tomorrow. Who he’s going to go see.
“I don’t either but we have to figure this out. So we can have our feet in the sand, Dean,” Sam breathes.
Dean sucks in a shuddering breath, rolling Sam onto his back. Sam spreads his legs, knowing this is comfort.
“Please don’t do anythin’ stupid, Sammy. I can’t lose you either, baby boy,” Dean begs, mouth opening against Sam’s neck.
Sam opens up to Dean’s mouth, both of them breathing hard and desperate.
“We gotta get our feet in that sand, Sammy,” Dean huffs against his mouth, one hand to Sam’s face and another cradling the back of his head.
“Yeah, yeah, Dean. I know, I’m gonna get us there,” Sam gasps, Dean pressing his lips to his neck as they press against one another in fearful need.
Sam’s gonna get them to that beach.