I sometimes think about the amount of personal growth I’ve had in just the last two years, and I am simply dumbfounded.
All of a sudden, I am an adult? I’m responsible, and intelligent, and compassionate. It’s everything I always was, but better, so much better.
There’s a lot of people I have to thank for that, too. There’s one man, a random kid who dragged me out of my shell and out to have fun by
yelling at me telling me to get in his truck an hour and a half after I met him (he didn’t even know my name at that point), and another that the first time we met was randomly playing guitar at full volume and was welcomed with applause. And in just around a year and a half, these 2 men went from meaning nothing to me, to being the 2 big brothers I never had. I love them, and I don’t know what I’d do, or who I would be without them.
My best friend, that has been such for the last 15 years, that has listened to every single problem, bitch fest, story, sexual escapade, hilarious everything, heartbreak, no matter how big or small, and helped me survive and pulled my ass through. (Happy birthday, again, by the way, baby).
I can’t thank my parents enough for all of the support, financially, emotionally, physically. They always thought I was perpetually 12, but it’s MUCH better now. My dad a year and a half ago sat on the phone with me for 2 hours while I sobbed my way through my first ever panic attack, alone in my dark dorm room after a test gone bad. Or my mom that has gone out of her every way to do whatever she can for me.
I have this small tight knit immediate family, and now this extended ridiculous one that I chose for myself, and I am a better, stronger, smarter, braver person because they showed me how to be.
I sometimes wonder how the family and old/ex friends I haven’t seen in a long while would look at me now. Here I am strange as ever, tattooed, assertive, employed at a job I love that’s literally all body fluids, and succeeding at my whole life.
And I wonder how that looks, because things have gotten amazing, and I never expected them to be this good.