anonymous asked:

You have a lot of interesting stories from work it seems like. What is your favorite?

okay so the view from the back of the hotel is this nice hillside pasture with cows and shit and people seem to really enjoy looking at that, so we get a crapload of people every day who request rooms facing the back. it’s the norm. so when this dude called in to make sure he got room #129 (he was adamant about it like “I HATE TO BE PICKY BUT I’VE STAYED IN THAT ROOM BEFORE AND I ONLY EVER STAY IN THAT ROOM AND I WILL NOT STAY THERE TONIGHT IF I CANT HAVE THAT ROOM”), i just assumed that was the case. he just REALLY wanted to look at the cows. nbd.

so like this nice, friendly old dude shows up and since i’m still fairly new i’ve never met him before, so my first impression is that he reminds me of my grandpa. i literally remember thinking “wow haha he looks like my granddad that’s so cute”. so anyways this dude checks in and gets all situated and we don’t see him for the rest of the evening and everything’s fine and dandy… but as i leave the hotel that night, i notice his privacy curtain is pulled back and his window’s wide open. 

see, the way this room is set up, the window is right next to the gate to the employee entrance in the back of the hotel. it is physically impossible to get to the employee entrance without passing this room’s window. so i think to myself “wow that’s awkward” but shrug it off because it’s 11pm and i’m tired and have to get up early so who cares. whO CA R ES. if this guest wants to feel the cool night breeze on his face then he certainly can. go nuts, dude.

the next morning, though, i pull into work and notice his window is still wide open. it’s super early, so a brief glance tells me he’s sound asleep in his bed. that’s how well i can see into this godforsaken room and, considering the window is wide open too, i could probably reach right in and swipe his wallet off the table if i were so inclined but i’m noT and that’s beside the point because I’M LATE so i awkwardly shuffle by this open window and sprint to the break room to clock in.

about an hour goes by before the housekeepers start randomly showing up one by one. i notice a few of them are either sporting horrified looks or a bright red tint to their faces. one even looks nauseated. but i dont go find them and look into it because mornings are evil and i’m tired.

it’s not long until one of them powerwalks into the back office and demands the guest in 129 be dealt with or kicked out of the hotel. we are all understandably confused until she explains what’s happening.

the dude in 129. the friendly old man who reminded me of my granddad. this guy is apparently standing in front of his wide open giant window right next to the employee entrance, greeting everyone who shows up for work with the sight of his wrinkly nude gross body. we’re talking full-on birthday suit here. as in his flaccid penis and saggy old man balls are hanging far enough out of the window to possibly brush against the arms of any unsuspecting passers-by. 

so like long story short, my favorite part of this story is that i had to call and ask this old man to shut his damn window or cover up or both and his reply hiS FREAKING REPLy was “i’m sorry just give me 10 more minutes. if I show my” (i think he called it his “willy” but i can’t remember) “to 4 more people I’ll get $40”

so basically he exposed himself and harassed/traumatized people for $40. forty dollars. and i know some people will look at this and be like “i get it tbh i’d do anything for money i’m poor lol” but listen. listen.

room #129 is an extended king suite. during the work week, our extended king suites cost roughly $144 + tax. that means this man spent $164.88 on a room so he could make $40. he lost his dignity. he lost $124.88. and the only thing he gained was a fine coating of both fresh morning dew and shame on his wrinkled little willy. 

… idk if i’d say that’s my favorite thing that’s happened but the second i saw this ask, my brain went “KAYLA, TELL THEM THE PENIS STORY” so here you go

anonymous asked:


(Describe my ideal house…)

How’s about I just use some pictures:

Oh, and there should be a tree, growing right beside the house.

Here’s an interior view ;)

Oh my god, here’s another interior. There’s, like beds in this one.

Oh, and there should be aesthetically flooded stairs for no damn reason other than “I can.”

And to finish everything off, here’s the view

I call this one “perfect lighting, garbage camera”

Nora/Cal, 18, they/she, aro/ace, kind of an asshole

What do i even say here?

Like most people, i have interests, but i wouldn’t consider any of them intense or focused enough to be “special”. Mostly i just like art. Im due to attend Maine College of Art in the fall, which is damned exciting. 

i don’t know how to introduce myself so i’ll just link you to my blog and my about page

{Eridan/Callie | Fae/Faer or He/Him}

Hello :0! I’m submitting some pics of me wearing my binder for the first time cos… Jeeze, that was great. I was really, really happy!

I’m Eridan and I am, as the name implies, Homestuck trash. Homestuck is a low-key special interest of mine, actually. B)

My actual special interests happen to be Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, Centuries by Fallout Boy, Stronger than You from Steven Universe, and Five Nights at Freddy’s. 

My blog can be found here, but please read my links before you follow or interact. Have a lovely day!