I’m going to give what I believe is the answer. It’s very simple.
You step out in a new outfit and many people tell you how awesome you look. Then one stops and says it’s the most hideous thing they’ve ever seen.
Here’s what happens.
"You look cute!"
"That’s a really nice outfit!"
"Great color, you make it pop!"
"That’s so pretty."
"What an ugly shirt!"
"I love that color on you." "That’s nice! Where’d you get it?" "I love it!"
Your day might be wrecked by that comment. Why?
Perhaps it’s because that person told you what they really think, and that makes our brain jump through hoops and conclude everyone else must really think that too and they are just too polite to say something. So this outfit must really be that hideous.
What we need to do is reverse that thinking. Sure, one person might have hated the outfit. That doesn’t mean everyone will hate it.
The reason I’m saying this is I used to go through this line of thinking with my fanfiction. I used to think it had to be so perfect that nobody would have anything negative to say, and when someone inevitably did say something negative I would get so angry about it. I’m not talking about negative concrit where someone is trying to help me improve, I’m talking about people who just say, “This fic is awful and you should quit!”
Even today, I struggle with the notion that everything I write secretly sucks and people are just being nice. I’m not fishing for compliments, I’m stating it like it is. Keep reading before you start typing. When I start thinking I’m sucky at writing, I remember it’s my own negativity trying to fight me and now I fight back with positivity. I tell myself I’m a pretty decent (fanfic) writer and I don’t let fear hold me back from running with wild ideas.
I treat my fics like they’re a food, let’s say bananas. There are always people in the world don’t like bananas and some will be outspoken in voicing their dislike. That doesn’t mean bananas suck as a fruit, and it doesn’t mean my writing sucks either.
So reverse your thinking the next time someone comes out of the throng with a negative comment when you’ve been getting several that are positive. It’s one person who doesn’t like something— that doesn’t mean everyone hates it too.
If there is someone in your life who makes it a mission to meanly point out only your flaws, realize it might be them reflecting their own insecurities onto you.
Secondly, if you have an outfit that makes you feel fricken AMAZING and YOU think you look great, wear it and own it. Confidence can turn practically anything you put on into awesomeness!
Here, I’ll prove it.
The bullied, self-hating high school version of me wouldn’t dream of posting the “nerdy” pic. Now, if people want to say the outfit looks stupid and I’m an idiot for wearing it, they can go right ahead. I’m comfortable in it, I LIKE that it waves my nerd flag and I love my Godzilla slippers more than someone else’s opinion of them! Likewise, if someone wanted to tell me my sophisticated outfit is ugly, let them. Let ‘em yell that my big earrings are gross and that I should cover my toothpick legs. I LIKE big, dangly earrings and I love how I look in heels. Also, infinity scarves are da bomb!
Confidence and positivity are the key, and I KNOW you have it in you! So go out there and be the wonderful, awesome, cool person you are!