2

This past weekend, my best friend from high school married the man of her dreams in a beautiful and elegantly vintage-inspired wedding. Every time I saw her look over to her new husband during the ceremony, I could not help but smile: the joy on her face was something that one day I too hope to experience. Not only was I privileged enough to attend the ceremony, but she trusted me with the honor of giving a toast on her behalf, a sort of “maid of honor” speech (Orthodox Christian weddings do not have bridal parties like one sees in the movies) to honor her on this momentous day in her life. To say I was nervous was an understatement, as the message I wished to convey to the other guests is something I can barely even put into words. 

Although our friendship has not been long, by the standard definition, I believe length does not define how much I value her companionship. As a fellow “old soul,” Alexis understands what it means to long for a time and place well beyond her reach. I often find myself struggling to put such into words for those who cannot understand it. Yet having a friend like Alexis makes it easier, somehow, to live in a world where people would rather chat on Facebook than picnic in the park, or play silly games rather than be honest with one another. While this is not the only thing I value about her friendship, her understanding of what it means to be an old soul is probably what I love most about our friendship, because it means that I do not have to try so hard to make myself understood. And that is refreshing. 

While I am so happy and excited for her, I cannot help but also be a little bit sad, and that is entirely for selfish reasons. I know that our friendship is strong, as it has so far survived us moving beyond seeing one another everyday in those fluorescent lit halls and me traveling 3,000 miles away. Yet still a part of me worries as we both get closer and closer to “real” adulthood, especially now that she has simply leapt across that thresh hold, while I’m still hesitating. I realize that our precious time together is even more limited now that she has her own family to attend to.

Part of me worries that we won’t be able to indulge in the same things we used to: trips to old book stores in our favorite city, Old Hollywood movie dates, and sushi dinners. It frustrates me that I carry this small worry deep within a small pocket of my heart, as it is so selfish of me to want to keep her all to myself. Her wedding, while I enjoyed myself, was also a great wakeup call to the fact that we are adults who are essentially ready for the next big hurdles of life, including graduation, job hunting, graduate school, or marriage. I have two years left at university, Alexis is happily married, and another close friend from my year in high school will be graduating at the end of this academic year (a year earlier than the rest of us). Suddenly that shimmering and immaterial myth that is Adulthood has become very, very solid and is looming right before me. 

Despite all this worrying chatter, I hear a tiny, almost inaudible voice whispering in my ear. A voice that tells me it is alright to be scared about The New that is bearing down on all of us twenty-somethings. A voice that tells me to be excited for the freedom “real” adulthood will bring. And a voice that, above all, tells me to simply let go and let it happen. Perhaps what frightens me the most about all these changes is that, for once, everything is out of my control. If any of you readers know me in reality, you know how much I like to have a handle on every aspect of my life. Yet especially considering everything that has happened to me in the past three to four years, I should know better than to think I know what is going to occur when I wake up in the morning. Nothing is in my control, and I simply just have to embrace it with a smile on my face and a shrug of my shoulders. 

After some deep reflection, Alexis’s wedding has inspired me more than it has terrified me. Alexis, a fellow voyager, shipped off from the comforts of home for the Big City, pursuing her passion for community service as a part of the City Year program. She didn’t know what was going to happen once she reached New York: all she knew was that she wanted to go, and she simply let life take the reins. Once this happened, something wonderful happened: she found true love, one of those “great myths of adulthood” that many of us twenty-somethings are still vaguely skeptical about. Perhaps if I follow my best friend’s wisdom and simply let my life flow, like a river cutting it’s own path through a forest, then I will end up somewhere I truly want to be, regardless of whether such was what I had initially envisioned or not. I already started this task, by moving to Scotland at the tender age of eighteen, yet it seems I’ve woken from some kind of delirium in which I halted this natural flow and began building a dam: a great, inhibiting, “I need to regain control” dam. While this river may be coursing at a speed I am initially uncomfortable with, if I simply go with it, I may find I enjoy the thrill of the speed after all. 

At the end of the day, all I can say is how happy I am for my best friend. Her wedding was beautiful, and I can only hope that it was everything she hoped for (and more). While I was originally terrified for my very first “friend wedding,” especially that of my very best friend, I can now say I am happy with how it unfolded and what it has taught me. To Alexis, I wish the very happiest of futures with her new husband, and I look forward to hearing about married life over lunch in the near future. While things such as partners, schools, and homes may change, I am confident that our friendship, and our fondness for a shared meal, will not. And I guess that’s all I can hope for. 

Onwards! 

In twelve hours one of my closest and dearest friends, Alexis, will be landing in Edinburgh to begin a week long adventure here in the Land of Scots. To say I am excited is an understatement. I have already booked us an adventure in the Cairngorms National Park this weekend, and other destinations include Edinburgh, St. Andrews, and Balmerino Abbey for the Scottish Snowdrop Festival. 

It makes me so incredibly happy that Alexis took the time and effort to visit me. I am also so proud of her for earning the money to take this trip. She has worked so incredibly hard to fulfill one of her dreams, that being travelling to The Shire (or so we like to call Scotland). I am deeply honored to be her guide as we explore the magic of Scotland together. Let the merry making commence!

I am so very excited. I just learned that one of my closest friends in the entire world, Alexis, has finalized her plans to come visit me in February! The thought of sharing the magic of St. Andrews and all its wee quirks with her, a fellow aficionado of British and Scottish culture, is so wonderful. It has been hard adjusting to a new place without my best friend at my side, so I am so thankful that she has this opportunity to visit. Also, Alexis is the type of friend who would never turn down the prospect of adventure, so she will no doubt contribute to my experience in Scotland by readily agreeing to any wild quest I propose. Onwards! 

2

These past couple days have been bitter sweet, since I’ve been so incredibly excited to leave my hometown and explore Scotland, yet I’m also leaving behind some amazing people. While I am interested and happy about the prospect of making new friends, I find myself trying to cling to the old bonds I possess, though such seems like trying to grasp the wind. Today I went on what may be my last adventure (for a while!) with two of my greatest friends, Jeff and Alexis. 

While these two do not hold the trophy for oldest friends, they certainly are very important, and it makes me a wee bit sad to ship off on a wonderful adventure while they stay behind. I want to pack Jeff in my suitcase as my own personal ray of sunshine, since he never fails to make me laugh; and though I feel as if Alexis will be right beside me, ready to explore the castles, coffee shops, and boutiques, a small part of my mind keeps reminding me she won’t. 

I guess the best thing I can say to these two hooligans at the moment is thank you; thank you for accepting my quirks, and joining me in having simple, outlandish fun. I will miss Jeffrey’s goofy antics, allowing me to forget whatever is troubling me and open myself to joy. I will miss the secret language Alexis and I possess, for I feel as though no one will truly know me as well as she. Thank you for making my last few years of childhood unforgettable, whimsical, and exciting. Now I must be brave, and face Scotland without two of my best friends; but I can do it, for I know they’ll be waiting to hear whatever tale I have to tell. 

wishonpennies said:

MOM I AM LITERALLY CRYING I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO APPLY TO GREEN OAK OLD NAVY FOR HOURS AND THIS REALLY SILLY WEBSITE IS FUCKING HORRIBLE

see no that’s the wrong way to go about it just send them a picture of your booty and they will hire you instantly works 100% of the time i promise