The Obese Chronicles: Chapter 1- Who is I?

     Today I have decided to start a damn online diary or some shit like that after watching Awkward and the main girl writes in her little blog thing. So I’m like “If this bitch can do it, so can I!” and here I is. 

     Let’s start off by me giving you the deets about my life. My name is Thadius and I am a very important person. I am 16 and live in a shit town in the midwest. My town holds 13,000 people and is known to me as Shitville, USA. Everyone here knows everything about everyone, so that sucks. Anywhooser, I have three sisters (I would tell you their names but I don’t want them to get mad at me if I say something embarrassing about them, which is likely), two awesome dogs (a chihuahua and mini bulldog), a crazy fucking hamster, and of course a mom and dad. They divorced when I was thirteen and at first I was all boohoo but now I’m like “Who gives a damn?”. That’s life I suppose. Here’s the easy shit about me. I like the colors blue, green, and yellow. My favorite number is the number 2. I play video games, read all sorts of books, love music, long walks on the beach, that kind of stuff. Now that that is out of the way, I don’t know what to do. I suppose I can tell you I made some bitch fall in the hallway today, but that seems like a story to tell later. For now, I am establishing the fact that I am here and shall start a mission to record the angsty tales of my life. Like that Julie and Julia shit. I watched that movie the other day and all I could think about is the fact that Meryl Streep could play a damn potato and she’d still kill that role. On that note, later and Be true, Be you, and Eat the mothafuckin cupcake!