Anon's prompt: "Cora and Rumple run away together, and Rumple deals for Belle to be the nanny of their child."

AN:  For the life of me, I cannot find the prompt for this, but I really, really wanted to write it, so here you are, anon.

“Belle,” Regina sniffled. “I want Papa.”  

Belle smiled tenderly at the little dark-haired girl, cuddling her closely.  "He’ll be back soon, I promise,“ She picked up a brush and began to comb it through Regina’s dark locks. "And if I know your father, he’ll have a treat for you!”  

Regina beamed happily, her mood already improving.  But before the little girl could be completely contented, Cora entered the nursery.  

“What on earth is she wearing?” She snapped at Belle who stiffened in response. “Breeches? She’s a girl, not a farmhand.”  

“We went riding today, milady,” Belle said evenly. “I was never taught sidesaddle.”

“Well, that doesn’t surprise me,” Cora said coolly. “See that she’s changed properly so she can at least feign the appearance of a lady before her father returns.”  

Keep reading

In honor of the fact that I have hit 2.5k followers, and that, transitively, changed my url back to ‘wankerbatch,’ I’ve decided to host(?)/have blog awards so I can bring attention to some fantastic blogs/followers who have helped me get this far.

I will be adding and creating an updates tab on my blog for the sole purpose of this

♕ rules:

  • must be following me
  • reblog this post
  • likes do not count
  • one winner and at least one runner-up per category–the number of runner-ups will depend on how many blogs enter
  • must reach at least 30 reblogs (else I’ll probably delete this and die of embarrassment if it doesn’t)
  • ends 7 May 2014–winners will be announced within the next 48-72 hours

♕ categories:

  • Best URL
  • Best Posts
  • Best Original Work (edits & gifs & graphics & fanart & fanfics & headcanons, etc.)
  • Best Theme
  • Best Sherlock
  • Best Hannibal
  • Best Fargo
  • Best Multi-fandom
  • Nicest Blogger
  • Best Overall

♕ winners will receive:

  • a follow back, if not already, as well as love and friendship
  • a spot on the updates tab until 12 July 2014
  • 2 group promos comprised of the winners & the runner-ups (includes the final masterpost of winners & runner-ups)
  • solo announcement of winners and runner-ups for each category
  • 3 group promos comprised of only the winners
  • 4 solo promos whenever you like
  • a url graphic and/or an icon, if requested; i’ll also be proffering my writing skills and take requests for a ficlet

♕ runner-ups will receive:

  • a follow back, if not already, as well as love and friendship
  • a spot on the updates tab until 12 June 2014
  • 2 group promos comprised of the winners & the runner-ups (includes the final masterpost of winners & runner-ups)
  • solo announcement of winners and runner-ups for each category
  • 1 solo promo whenever you like
  • 1 group promo comprised of solely the runner-ups

Once again, thank you <3

[blacklist 'wankerbatch blog awards’ if you don’t want to see this on your dashboard]

quietly headcanons that dremora bash horns pretty frequently

but not just for fighting. not at ALL just for fighting. 

adolescent dremoras bonking heads like baby mountain goats

casual affectionate horn bumping

two dremoras with ram-esque horns charging at eachother and getting their horns tangled up

dremoras filing the ends of their horns to a point

dremoras hanging sparkly shit on their horns if they get long enough

vain dremoras getting flustered and distressed over pieces of horn that get chipped off

dremoras with actual personality instead of just a bunch of testosterone huffing nerds from oblivion

RotG fic: The Heavy Weight of Duty 28/?

TitleThe Heavy Weight of Duty 28/?

Rating: NC-17 

Summary: Jack is the youngest prince of the moon kingdom, and it’s a good life. All the important roles are filled by his older brothers and sister so he spends his days having fun with his friends.

And then one day his father tells him that it is time to do his duty as a prince. A peace treaty has been drawn up with the land of shadows, and Jack is to be an integral part of that.

He is to be given to the Nightmare King as a courtesan

Chapter 43 - Wildness - of The Court of Five Thrones is up!

In which Augus is very much Not Okay, on a whole heap of levels, not least of which the levels is Gwyn running after him and wanting to kill him.

Chapter 43 - Wildness - is here at AO3

Thanks so much for reading! Feedback / interaction is love, and I remain eternally grateful to all supporters of this little universe, whether you’re lurkers or not.

In next week’s chapter, Augus falls a little deeper down the rabbit hole of his own actions, while everyone else - even Julvia - seems to be coming along in leaps and bounds.


Also, want to support my original writing? Consider reading up on The Fae Tales Verse and pledging at my Patreon account - everything you need to know about how that works, is right there.


Hi there. I had another idea for the Kristanna smut week prompt, “A gentle touch.” It’s called “Healing Hands.” Here’s the lowdown :

Pairing: Anna and Kristoff
Rating: Mature ( I mean, seriously, it’s sexy)
Word count: it’s kinda long, but it wouldn’t be me if it wasn’t

Sit back, relax, and enjoy…

It was after eleven in the evening when Kristoff gingerly (for a man of his build) made his way into the bedroom that he shared with his new wife, Anna. He carefully set his stuff down, undressed, washed up, and shaved. He went to Anna, carefully bent down, and tenderly placed a soft kiss on her left cheek. She stirred but didn’t wake up. He carefully rose back to his full height and went over to the fireplace. A fire wss burning bright. He carefully got down onto the bearskin rug in front of the fireplace, resting on his haunches. He was in quite a bit of pain but he gingerly raised his arms above his head and proceeded to stretch out the painful kinks in his broad back.

Pain filled moans aroused Anna from a peaceful sleep. She sat up, rubbed her eyes, stretched, and followed the sound. She saw her new husband but he looked downright miserable. She got up, fixed her strawberry hair, removed her pink nightgown, went to Kristoff, and rested on her haunches behind him. He felt small hands on his broad shoulders, rubbing them softly. Soft, warm lips were gently pressed into the space between his shoulder blades. He ran a hand through his longish, shaggy blond hair, noticing that Anna hugged him softly.

“Are you okay,” she asked, her voice filled with concern. “I’ve never seen you in so much agony.” “I slipped on the ice,” he said, wincing when her hand touched a rather sore spot. “I landed hard on my back. Luckily, nothing is broken. I’m just bruised. It was pure hell getting home and making it up here but I’ll be okay.” She had a look of horror and pity on her lovely, freckled face. “My poor baby! Where exactly do you hurt?” “Almost my whole back, the middle in particular.” An idea formed in her head. “Wait right here,” she said, getting up. “I’ll be right back.” She went to their large bed, picked up two fluffy pillows and a large blanket. She took them over to where he was. She set the pillows down and the blanket. She then went into their bathing area and rummaged through the cabinet until she found what she was looking for. She soon returned with a glass bottle of oil.

“Lay on your belly please,” she said. He complied. “What are you up to,” he asked. “Just relax. You’ll feel better after this.” He decided to humor her. She got back down on the floor and straddled his waist. She opened the bottle, tipped it, and soon, he felt oil on his back. A minty smell filled the air. Anna rubbed her palms together and soon, Kristoff felt her hands gently but firmly massaging his shoulders, the nape of his neck, his sides, and his back. She was very careful not to hurt him any more than he was already hurting. He moaned softly as he felt the sharp, nagging pain subsiding. “You doing okay there,” she asked. “Yeah,” he said. “It feels good. Thank you.” “My pleasure.” She moved so she now straddled his thighs. He felt her hands on the small of his back, gently kneading his sore, muscled flesh. Feeling bold, Anna began massaging Kristoff’s firm, taut buttocks. “Anna!” “Relax, Kristoff. You’ll enjoy this.” She was so right. She now rested between his spread legs, massaging his thighs, the backs of his knees, his calves, and his feet.

He felt his cock growing harder. (Hmm) he thought. (If she’s massaging me here, I wonder if she’s going to do my entire body). “Okay,” she said. “Turn over.” He gingerly turned so he now lay flat on his back. “Are you comfortable?” “Actually,” he said. “I’m starting to feel better.” A hint of lustful mischief glinted in her blue eyes. His brown eyes were filled with pain and lust. He watched her breasts move as she massaged his temples, forehead, cheeks, chin, jaw, and scalp. He so badly wanted to reach out, take one of her pert, pink nipples into his mouth and suck hard but he didn’t because she moved.

She now straddled his waist. She gently ran some more oil onto his chest and massaged his biceps, triceps, neck, pecs, and six pack abs. Her fingers tenderly pinched his flat nipples. He groaned in pleasured agony. She massaged his hips, his thighs, his knees. “Are you in too much pain,” she asked, kissing the tip of his nose, her hands gently gripping his now fully erect cock. “I’m still in pain but not in complete agony, ” he said, biting his lower lip. She bent low and placed her lips gently on his. She kissed him deeply. He kissed her back, a low, deep moan in his throat as she massaged his huge member from tip to base and massaged his balls. She broke off the kiss, went lower on his body, and she licked the tip of his cock, slowly swirling around the head, sampling the precum that came from the head. He moaned softly, his hands on the back of her head, trying not to thrust too hard and wrench his back more. She took as much of him into her mouth as she could and sucked on him, her tongue laving the velvety skin over firm hardness.

When he felt as if he was going to explode, she took him out of her mouth, changed positions so she straddled his hips, lowered herself down, and he was now buried inside of her hot, wet, silken sheath. She moved her hips in all sorts of deliciously torturous movements. His hands rested on her hips, giving her leverage. He watched her cup her own breasts, pinching her pink nipples. She then slid one hand down her soft, flat belly and delve into her pink, wet folds. She stroked her clit in time to the movements of her hips as she rode him slowly.

Watching her do this had some effect on him as he moved his hand so his thumb touched her clit in time with her own fingers. Anna moved in a way so Kristoff’s cock touched her g-spot. That did it for both of them and they came hard, moaning, groaning, and Anna screaming. They trembled as she collapsed on top of him carefully, then she slid him out of her and lay on her side, cuddling him close, her hand running through his blond chest hair, their bodies damp with sweat, their hair sweaty, and the room smelling like strong mint mixed with the muskiness of sex.

“I love you, Kristoff,” she murmured, placing a kiss to the spot below his right ear. “I love you, too, Anna,” he said softly, stroking her forearm. “Thank you for helping me feel better.” “You’re very welcome. When we wake up again, I’m going to have to give you another treatment.” He looked at her as she looked at him. “Babe,” he said. “You can do that anytime you want. If it’s okay with you, when I feel better, can I massage you?” “Yes,” she said. “I’d love that.” They soon fell asleep watching the fire burn in the fireplace, he sleeping peacefully for the first time in a few days. (She really does have healing hands) he thought, smiling and holding her close.

The end…for now