I love, love, love swing dance, but only when I’m not hating it. Whenever I’m at a dance event, I end up sitting in a back corner for the most part, seething with envy/terror as I watch everyone else groove out on the dance floor. I hate it because everyone is just perfect, and it feels like I can’t learn how to do whatever it is they are doing out there.
(And I also feel like my body parts just end up falling all around my lead, and that everyone hates me). But the thing I love about swing dance is how relational these events end up being for me. Because as I complain about how anxious I get and how terrible I feel I’m doing, I always hear my own voice echo back from the other person/sound board, because they feel the exact same way. And I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity that every single person who I think dances so perfect ALSO thinks they are so awkward, also has to psych themselves up to go to an event, also feels like their dance partner is wasting a song on them, also is spending 25/8 trying to win over our dance teachers, and also casually engages in panic attacks for no real reason. I’ve never felt so… NOT alone in my own insanity.