"This "street culture of resistance" is not a coherent, conscious universe of political opposition but, rather, a spontaneous set of rebellious practices that in the long term have emerged as an oppositional style. Ironically, mainstream society through fashion, music, film, and television eventually recuperates and commercializes many of these oppositional street styles, recycling them as pop culture. In fact, some of the most basic linguistic expressions for self-esteem in middle-class America, such as being "cool," "square," or "hip," were coined on inner-city streets."

philippe bourgois, in search of respect

Teachers remember you.

I’m not good with names.

I remember faces better than names, but that’s doesn’t really help anyone in any situation. I’m a sketch artist’s nightmare.

Teachers aren’t good with names either. In fact, they’re awful at it.

But they do remember you. 

My eighth grade Drama teacher is a regular at my second job, something I found out this morning when I picked up a Saturday shift. She recognized me instantly. I recognized her eventually. 

She was the archetypal thespian: extroverted and all smiles off-stage, but under the spotlight, demanding and irrational. Vague bits of her class came in spurts as our conversation progressed, but not enough to create a full memory. It was okay; the lady in front of me was being more pleasant than I remembered and that was all that mattered.

I learned two things this morning:

  1. I am somewhat capable of having a conversation with people I’m not close to 
  2. I can only maintain said conversation if the other person is the primary speaker
  3. Teachers never forget

And that scares me. 

As I walked home, a montage of all the teachers I disregarded and all the classes I did a not-so-stellar job in played in my head. Damn, these people are going to remember me as that kid…

thoughts on freshman year 2009/2010

- I was a fucking idiot
- I was also really lame
- But I was very honest with myself
- Basic bitch
- I never listened to my friends’ advice
- Consequence: I got myself into some really deep shit
- I was pitiably adorable
- My self-perception issues have not changed

4:41am

Time is all you need.

Some people need space

Some people need attention

Some people need a pat on the back

Some people need to get smacked across the face

Some people need guidance

Some people don’t need guidance

Some people need a hand to hold

Some people need to make a run for it

Some people need to turn the other cheek

Some people need to face it

So let’s face it,

Everyone needs time (to do this, to do that)

Some people need more time than others

Some people need less time than others

Regardless

You’ve got to give them all the time they need

(because some people deserve it)

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