anonymous said:

i can't live without your fics, i have to read at least one per day /(*@*)/ i read all your gruvia fics at least 30 times XD i loveee your writing so much, the best smut ever :D even when you said you have no romantic bone in your body, you do have...you are like Gray, even if he doesn't know he's sweet (*///*)¬

!!!!!!!!!!!! EXPLODES

Y-YOU SAID I’M LIKE GRAY… OMGOMG THIS IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE juvvias ALWAYS TELLS ME I’M LIKE GRAY AND SHE’S PRACTICALLY JUVIA probably why we get along so well for real AND—AND SOMEONE ELSE THINKING I’M LIKE MY FOREVER BOY IS ;AAAA; AAAH AMAZING

you ARE SO SWEET, OH MY GOODNESS, THIS MESSAGE…… i’m just going to roll around on the ground forever, sobbing uncontrollably, don’t mind me

i do still insist i don’t have a romantic bone in my body though, and you can really ask anyone who knows me. in fact, i’ve had a good amount of people say i’m like a dude because of my mindset and my dirty sense of humor, not to mention i’m pretty bad with getting all emotional and stuff >.>

B-BUT REGARDLESS, I’M STILL SOBBING OVER THE FACT THAT YOU CALLED ME LIKE GRAY, I FEEL LIKE I ACHIEVED A LIFE GOAL OR SOMETHING. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, THANK YOU FOR THIS TREASURE EEEP TuT

WHAT TO WEAR WHEN: You Are A Reptoid Disguised As An Anchorwoman And You Are About To Reveal Your Succesful Conquest of Earth On Live TV

  • Do not appear overly exuberant. Remember, you’re still in an office environment.
  • According to human studies, green tones make authority figures, like newscasters, appear “untrustworthy.” Good! Let the anticipatory fear chill them for reasons they cannot place. Then it will seem only natural and right when you turn to devour your feeble-minded and lecherous co-anchor, Don.
  • Yes, it is a celebratory time, but keep your skull jewelry subtle and chic, like these silver King Baby studs. Elaborate, jangly earrings are a definite “don’t” when you have something important to say, especially on camera. The only distracting glint should be that of your horrible razor teeth.
  • Nothing says “polished and professional” like a pencil silhouette — and nothing says “My unhindered legs are swifter than yours and I will soon taste your warm milk-fed flesh,” like a thigh slit. Luckily for you, this Pucci skirt has both.
  • In an outfit with a sharply tailored bottom half, try contrasting with a looser top — say a silk dolman blouse, like this one from Julie Haus.
  • Haul your iPad, mascara, train reading, slime-swaddled eggs and other office essentials in a roomy, neutral tote. The “Darcy” bag by Alexander Wang is a perfect fit.
  • Remember that the soft flesh of your pallid woman-suit will not imprison you much longer! Choose tones that flatter your own natural hues of bronze, gold, and iridescent green.
  • Don’t worry about “overdoing” the reptile textures you’ve missed so much while trapped in this smooth, doughy carapace. The key to texture-mixing is to choose contrasting sizes: in this case, for instance, notice the large repeating squares on the skirt, medium-sized scales on the pumps, and subtle pebbling on the bag.
  • Should you need to switch sexes in order to perpetuate the species, you can apply the same principle to pattern-mixing — a skill that’s absolutely a menswear must!
  • Above all, HAVE FUN! After all, the beauty editors who once tried to tell you what to do will soon be slaves or food for the glorious, terrible army of your millions of spawn.
9

Harry Styles + tattoos

WHAT TO WEAR WHEN: You Accompany A Rugged, Gorgeous Doofus Archaeologist Into a Possibly Treasure-Hunting/Life-Endangering/Romantic Situation

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Great question, friend! Whether you’re a burlesque dancer, a determined journalist, a mild-mannered librarian interested in the paranormal, or a hard-drinking, hard-living expat bartender, you never know when a soldier of academic fortune could swing into your life and whirl you into an adventure beyond your wildest dreams. In this outfit, you could also do the whirling.

  • Layer your top half for a highly adaptable, climate-friendly look that can get sexy at a moment’s notice.
  • A loosely-tucked, menswear-style button down says, “I am slightly unnerved by having just seen a swarm of desert wasps turn into a man’s screaming face, but by God, I’m going to keep it together.”
  • Remember Stacy’s Law: a well-rounded outfit should have color, pattern, texture and shine. This printed Lecco Scarf from AllSaints is a great way to introduce pattern without making yourself too conspicuous to war criminals, religious fanatics, villainous corporate stooges, or anyone else who may be hunting you down— plus, it’ll protect your skin from the powerful jungle/desert/mountain/tundra sun!
  • Leather pants, even if they are Balmain, are of course not exactly the most practical choice for a girl on the go in unknown climes. It might have been safer to suggest something with a little breeze and give, like these tapered trousers by La Garçonne Moderne, but I didn’t, because shut up.
  • Military-inspired flat boots, also from All Saints, are fashionable without sacrificing your mobility.
  • If your mother, father, sibling or mentor pressed a mysterious amulet on you before their equally-mysterious disappearance, keep it on your person at all times! Even if it doesn’t turn out to have eldritch powers (and it almost certainly will), it will make a great decoy to prevent the nefarious Doktor Von Shadenstein from getting his hands on the REAL Pendant of Truth or whatever.
  • A capacious Givenchy messenger with a sturdy strap keeps you chic even when clinging by your fingernails to the crumbling facade of a cliffside temple.


Seneca Rising shirts blouse / Doublju racerback tank / Balmain leather pants, $4,015 / AllSaints riding boots, $185 / Givenchy bag, $1,140 / Antique French gold locket with turquoise & pearl accents, $3,650  / CO OP Barneys New York hip belt / AllSaints scarf

4

8/∞ - pinstripe suit + purple shirt

WHAT TO WEAR WHEN: You Are An Evil Queen Donning the Full Regalia

We’ve discussed casual evil queen chic, but what about when you have to do full black-tie evil queen stuff — banishing weeping prisoners to the Oubliette of Shadows, sucking the youth from a peasant maiden with your evil unhinged jaw, sending a well-muscled henchman to take some too-cute princess into the forest and cut out her heart, etc.? Don’t worry — we’ve got a look for that too.

  • The long black gown is a powerful villainess fave for a reason: imposing and elegant, it has the added bonus of hiding bloodstains. From the front and side, this DSquared2 beauty gives you the sleek, terrifying silhouette of a demon queen rising from a pool of oily darkness:

image


  • Whip around to make your exit and reveal the magnificent spine piece — a jeweled web of bones, both decorative and parasitic, that suggests the hideous occult grandeur of your true nature.

image

  • These Camila Skovgaard sandals mix elegance and aggression, with a heavy tread on the sole to keep you from taking an embarrassing slip in a victim’s pool of blood. (Sure, you could kill everyone who saw you wipe out, but an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!)
  • Keep your jewelry minimal, with no necklaces to mar the featureless abyss-evoking darkness of your front silhouette. Sparkle-wise, that back piece should do most of your heavy lifting.
  • You may, however, adorn one hand (the sinister) with this killer hand bracelet from Delfina Delettrez — what’s $25k to a queen of your stature? — and double its lethality with a clawed finger ring.
  • Ideally you already have a crown made from the splintered bones of your enemies. If not, retailers from Topshop to Givenchy are producing imposing spiked headbands — but why not take the opportunity to go custom? Look around on Etsy, where talented small-scale couturiers like Miss G Designs can craft you something majestic and terrible beyond the comprehension of ordinary mortals. You’ll never have to worry about running into another high-fashion monarch wearing the same thing.

Dsquared2 long dress, $5,765 / Camilla Skovgaard leather shoes / Delettrez silver bracelet / Anello ring / Givenchy nail polish, $26

LOOK

I’m not saying Dylan O’Brien kind of looks like a truck stop hooker in that Teen Vogue shoot.  I mean, that’s tasteless, crude, obviously.  I’m just saying that if in season five, Stiles maybe drops out of school, gets on a midnight train going anywhere, and tries hitchhiking through the country on some naive Jack Kerouac inspired jaunt, that might be the costume they put him in when he exhausts the rest of his money, when he finally gives in, dusty and exhausted, walks into a 24 hour diner named Loretta’s or something, right off of the main drag.  Maybe he slides onto a stool on the counter and lets his eyes settle around the room, looking, just looking, maybe trying to slouch, seem approachable.

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