story time: during school today I was watching the Uma Thurman music video (during my free period) and my friend who I’m not that close with I should point out walked up to me and started to watch it with me. During the video he told me that he already saw it before it came out on YouTube. So I’m like “lol how” and he says “well… I’m technically……Patrick Stump’s cousin.”
At this point I thought he was messing with me but nope.. apparently his mom’s sister is Patrick’s wife. My friend could literally go to family gatherings with Patrick Stump.

Brb finding a way to meet fall out boy via friends

Edmonton Gothic

- No one talks about East Edmonton. There is no East Edmonton.

-The sign at the lrt says “coming fall 2014”. Then it says “coming 2015”. Eventually all pretenses are dropped and it simply says “coming”. What is coming you will never know.

-Construction materials rot on the street until they become public art. No one knows how this happens or finds it appealing.

- Somehow a new arena that no one wanted or could afford to pay for appears on the horizon. The downtown core disintegrates faster than Rexall did. Tears begin to fall from Wayne Gretzky’s statue

- Bridges bend out of shape but are safe to cross three weeks later.

- The Mayor continually gets reelected but no one remembers the elections.

- Those from Edmonton Strathcona never leave their area for fear of being eaten by Conservative wolves. 

- West Edmonton Mall continually grows larger until it consumes City Centre.

- In winter citizens never leave their homes after eight in the evening for fear of being eaten by the screeching metallic machines outside that no one talks about.

- You have never seen your neighbour without a scarf. You wonder what happens when the layers are peeled away and whether there is really anyone under there.

- The City claims to hold Festivals but the only ones you remember involve fire and sacrifices to the Sun god.

- Sun glints off the pyramids. Your nostrils sting and eyes water. The corpse flower has awoken for its bi-annual Calgarian sacrifice.

- You have been driving for three hours. You keep looking for mountains on the horizon but you haven’t even reached the end of city limits. You swear you have seen that hay bale before.

- The sun rose for three and a half hours today. At least, that’s what they said on the news. You have been inside since before dawn and you never saw it coming home. You haven’t seen the sun since August.

youtube

I DARE EVERYONE, AND I MEAN “E V E R Y O N E”, TO WATCH THIS, SKIP TO 2:50 AND TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU SAW… NOW!!!

My mom came into my room and told me that my uncle was in the hospital. So i got all freaked out and asked her which uncle it was and then she said it was Uncle Greg.
AND I GOT REALLY CONFUSED
BECAUSE AS FAR AS I KNOW I DONT HAVE AN UNCLE GREG?
SO MOM EXPLAINS THAT ITS HER UNCLE, MY GREAT UNCLE GREG
AND HES GRANDPA JOHN’S BROTHER.
AND THEN SHE SAYS “so yeah hes in the hospital right now but ray is with him.”
And naturally i ask “whos ray?”
And she says thats his HUSBAND.
GAY UNCLE GREG
SO NOW
IM SITTING HERE
JUST FINDING OUT
AFTER 16 1/2 YEARS
THAT I HAVE TWO GAY UNCLES GREG AND RAY