after watching a movie late at night, or sometimes just at 2am falling asleep, I get this really weird feeling. like a zoomed out birds eye view of the world and me just sitting in my bed. and I think about how I’m just this body and I go through these motions and we all do these things and never stop to wonder what were doing. and how at school we make small talk and ‘are friends’ with certain people but neither of us know each other that well. and how we’re all on this earth at the same time which is really cool, and it’s like I’m glad I’m alive at the same time as certain people and were all just here for each others company. it’s a weird thing to think about. and then I think about what I am - I’m just my thoughts and I think everything we do is so important. I spend my time planning my days out and focus so much on hw and exercising and being productive in general. I make lists and I worry a lot, and it’s just weird to think about how it technically doesn’t matter which is could be depressing but it’s not. I just feel really weird right now, and I feel like I like being sad, and I like that feeling as if its comforting. I like watching movies and feeling that loneliness and sadness and I don’t know why. it’s 2am and I don’t even know what I’m writing or why

bUT JUST IMAGINE EZRA IN A STORE SHOPPING FOR ARIA AND HE’S GETTING ALL CONFUSED AMONG ALL THE JEWELLERY AND CLOTHES AND HE IS SO NERVOUS BC HE DESPERATELY WANTS ARIA TO LIKE WHAT HE HAS BOUGHT AND SO HE LIKE ASKS THE PEOPLE THERE AND THEY HELP HIM BUT HE’S STILL NERVOUS BC SHE MEANS SO MUCH TO HIM AND AFTER EVERYTHING HE JUST WANTS TO TREAT HER AND MAKE HER HAPPY UGH I’M DONE I’M SORRY

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