welcome-to-britain

Congratulations Britain!

99% of us are completely fucked, as is the NHS, the education system and my entire generation.
You’ve voted for food banks instead of freedom, for the rich instead of the poor and worst of all for profit over people.
You’ve successfully been conned into thinking that things are better than they were 5 years ago. Despite the soaring number of homeless people, children being raised in poverty, families relying on food banks and the empty shell of what was once an incredible national health service run for the benefit of the public not private sector profit.
You have voted for the party that tricked this nation into bailing the banks out of a crisis that the bankers themselves caused!
You have voted for a party that allowed the wealthiest 1000 people in this country to double their wealth in just 5 years. In the meantime working class people’s pay packages have been hit their hardest for 40 years.
You voted for the party that allows the richest 1% to pay on average a real terms tax on their wealth of only 35% percent while the bottom 50% pay an average real terms tax of 45%.
You’ve voted for the party whose MPs almost all voted “NO” on a law that should have been passed to allow investigations into alleged historic paedophilia on a mass scale to be carried out more thoroughly and honestly. Do you know why? Because some of the alleged persecutors were ex Tory MPs and Conservative party funders!
You’ve voted for the party who have sided with Rupert Murdoch to create and unfair and at times racist smear campaign against Ed Miliband and his party.
You’ve voted for more privatisation, austerity and social warfare.
You’ve voted for a party whose main purpose is to generate wealth for their business owning, bank running, rich, shareholder friends. At the expense of everybody else. You’ve also voted to make HUNTING yes hunting for fun legal. The British wildlife is now going to be deteriorating and the foxes and badger lives will be harder to save.

So I say once again Britain, well done. A real standing fucking ovation for you.

True Fact about Britain

The most complained about advert over here?

Perhaps the ice cream advert with two gay vicars embracing and looking sensual. Nope, we quite liked that

The one were a blind man kicked a cat instead of a football… Nah

Nope the most complained about advert was for KFC

And contained women singing

With their mouths full

And that is why people complained.

Only in England...

Someone in the library screams, and everyone looks over to see the girl sat by the window is suddenly soaked, as if someone has just emptied a bottle of water over her head. She gibbers that the liquid came through the window, so the burly security man marches off to investigate.

Was it a sudden downpour of rain? A burst gutter? Someone throwing a water bomb?

No.

The lecturer in the office upstairs emptied his teapot out of his window.