Chloe took a hit and fell back down onto our blanket spread on the ground. She closed her eyes and exhaled a plume of smoke and smiled. The sun beat down on her face as she took another hit before passing me the joint. I held it between my fingers and inhaled. I could feel my eyelids growing heavy as I let the smoke pour from my lips. I passed it back to her, so I could turn on the stereo we brought with us to the mountain. I browsed through her iPod for music and came across a ‘Stoned as fuck’ playlist then hit play. Oasis poured from the speakers as I lay back down on the ground and looked skyward. Chloe passed the joint back to me before speaking,
‘The sky is so blue, thats all I can see, just, blue’ We were lying on the side of a mountain in tall grass, but lying on our backs, it seemed all there was above us was sky.
‘I guess this is how people in Saskatchewan feel,’ I retorted, laughing smoke.
‘All sky and no mountains, I like mountains,’ she took the last hit of the joint, then pushed the roach into the soil. The song from the stereo changed, and Chloe started to dance a little to the music.
‘My legs are dangling off the edge, the bottom of the bottle is my only friend, I think I’ll slit my wrists again and I’m gone, gone, gone, gone,’ she was singing along to whatever song was playing and bobbing her head back and forth. A smile spread across her face and she started laughing.
‘Dude what song is this?’
‘An awesome one,’ she laughed again, then put her hands in the air above her and twirled her fingers into the sky. It was the middle of June, but she was still wearing long sleeves. She started rapping along to the music, weird song, but I had to admit it was catchy.
‘I’m sittin’ on the edge with my two best friends, one’s a bottle of pills, one’s a bottle of gin,’ she was bobbing back and forth to the music. I looked at her iPod ‘Bullet- Hollywood Undead’ never heard of the band. The song seemed to be growing on me, and I started bobbing along to the song as well. Upbeat, catchy, and almost dance-able; I even started to sing along to the chorus.
‘You know Charlie, you are my bro,’ she smiled at me.
‘Yea,’ I smiled back. Most guys would freak out if a girl ‘bro-zoned’ them, but I was fine with it. Chloe was like a sister to me anyway, and people have actually asked us if we were siblings before. She was my best friend.
‘A stomach full of pills didn’t work again, I’ll put a bullet in my head, and I’m gone, gone, gone, gone,’ Chloe started singing again. She ran her fingers through her hair and smiled at the sky.
‘You ever thought about offing yourself?’
‘What?’ I had no idea where this was going.
‘Ya know, like in the song?’ her smile faded. When we got blitzed we’d talk, flitting from one subject to the next, but we’ve never gone down such a dark path before.
‘Uh, no, not really.’
‘Hmm’ she lay thinking, on a good day I didn’t know what was going on in her head.
‘Chloe, are you alright?’
‘Hm? Yea, yea I’m fine’ She smiled reassuringly. ‘Want me to roll another joint?’
Though she claimed she was fine, I knew she wasn’t.