we-demand-to-be-taken-seriously

Literally any time I see a part of a fandom acting up and getting pompous and self-righteous all I can see is that picture of Gob Bluth and his magicians association holding up a sign saying “we demand to be taken seriously”

So I had breakfast with my Dad and he was upset because immigration is demanding DNA testing (to prove that one of his friend’s sons is actually related to his friend) and he was saying “You know, this is a violation of privacy. A violation of privacy! But who cares? Who in America cares?”

And then he went on a tangent about how we immigrants should form a made-up religion that forbids us from having our skin pierced and our blood taken so THEN our protests would be taken seriously by the Supreme Court.

And I think he was being for real? Like he was telling me precise dates about when this cult would gain academic recognition (”You know, the white people just love studying Egyptians, let’s give them something new to write their stupid books on”) and ???? dad?????

I’m asked with increasing frequency, “But why marry?”, a question to be taken seriously. The desire to make sure that there is integrity in love, that neither partner wants to use or manipulate the other, is a healthy one. But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other much ask themselves how much they love for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take.

If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation.

When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together, we become a new creature.

[Someone once said]…that marriage is a question not of creating a quick community of spirit by tearing down and destroying all boundaries, but rather a good marriage is that in which each appoints the other the guardian of his solidtude. My love for my husband and his for me is in that unknown, underwater area of ourselves where our separations become something new and strange, merge and penetrate like drops of water in the sea. But we do not lose our solitudes, or our particularity, and we become more than we could alone.

—  Madeliene L’Engle