volven

my poopiebutt tomtom is back, but he’s hiding for the time being because he really just wants a break from all the drama and shit that’s been going on.
he got back monday and wanted to surprise me after i was done for my last week at course, but then i got all lonely so he said come over and see.
and yes, i walked through the door, saw him and cried. but i was so happy, and we swapped little gifts and have more to swap soon, i couldn’t carry all his over.
he sent his package, so in a week’s time or so i’ll end up getting the things he made me while i take my things over to him bit by bit. it’s really nice.
i have a squishy-head crocodile that’s eyes pop out, i sit there squishing it while i’m thinking hahah. tom knows me well to get that hahah.
i gave him his lollies mostly, and showed him my course work and the things i was doing for him, i’ll be giving him all those and maybe make some more.
we’re going out to have lunch on saturday once tom is ok with leaving the house again hahah, i’m so excited to just be out with him again really.
besides myself only his older brother knows that he’s back, he’s going to surprise him mum on her birthday come saturday, and the rest of her/his family.
bwah, so happy. 

youtube
Hagalaz’ Runedance - Alva

Oh, Alva, winds singing mild
"grace to the fairies for the elven child"
May the North-star be your guide
May it shine upon you bright

youtube

Hagalaz’ Runedance | Seeker Divine

12:04am (Tuesday) Wednesday, (3rd) 4th Of January 2012.

spent the morning playing saints row, headed into town to meet up with tom and his younger brother and mate. walked around in new shoes which needed to be broken in (yay blisters). tom found me the cheapest copy sold of sims3 so i brought it. i need to go to bed earlier. 

if not for tom calming me down last night i would have gone to bed terribly upset.
we just talked, then he said to draw cherry blossom trees because i wanted to take photos of them. then said to try paint them even, in that sort of japanese style.
i don’t really want to touch paints because my tutor called me out on my ‘lack of painting skills’ with the tree i tried before but tom said he didn’t give a shit and to do it. it’s good to have him be supportive, he promised he’d look at it once i finished it. so i need to do it and finish it.
at least he can keep me motivated creatively, course has just drained everything out of me. 

11:07pm Thursday, 26th of January 2012.

had lunch with samara, who asked about tom and then got extremely mad at me for being with tom. it actually hurts that she was so angry and almost stopped talking to me right there and then for it, i know neither of them will get along but she basically called me stupid and said there was something wrong with me for liking him. :c saw tom after korean lunch date with her and santa and anna, then worked. tom was really drunk this afternoon and it was funny, but he has no bike so i probably won’t be seeing him much. this makes shit really lame, i guess i’ll be a bit more lonely now. time for tea and bed.

origami things i have made to send out to tom:

- mushroom.
- icecream.
- strawberry shortcake.
- heart on a stand.
- a fox.
- a carrot.

everything else looked shit.
i have not even finished his letter, his drawings or brought him any lollies or chips.
he’s going to be sending my package out tomorrow too.
i am a slow and busy girl and feel bad for not having his things ready. 

i only feel and only want to feel attractive to tom.
he saw how upset i got about my image and sent me a short message reminding me he still likes the way i look.

also, i realised last night that both soane and tom from the upstairs class call me little homie, kiddo, little one, little kid etc.
soane i understand cause he’s like twenty three or something, but tom is only a year older then me the egg.
i guess it’s because i look younger, though tall for a girl i’m skinny and act a little younger for my age sometimes too.
: | ugh, those two boys i have no idea how to deal with sometimes. 

made these for tom, he would really like it if i sent him some food or at least some lollies (milk bottles he said, especially milk bottles). i made a joke about how i was going to marinate some food-shaped paper in whatever shape they were so he could eat the paper since he hardly buys food for himself.
even before he left i was always babying him, looking after him all the time. making him sandwiches and meals, tucking him into bed, making him drinks and stuff. i miss things like that, i really wish i was over there now looking after him and feeding him. at least he’d actually be eating if i was anyway.
ugh, i miss him so much c: i can’t wait to send this off and to have him all happy at all the things that i’ve made and written. so excited.