the reason why Vixel is a femboy (he/his) and I’m a girl (she/her) is because Vixel is everything I want to be. I wish I was comfortable being cis gendered; embracing my male body, without relinquishing my affinity for femininity. Vixel is the best of both worlds because he’s completely comfortable with who he is and he can do whatever he wants in terms of gender while representing as male. however, I feel intensely uncomfortable as male, so I cannot just sustain myself as a femboy, I have to be completely female in order to accept myself. it’s really weird and I wish I could wake up and be like “MAN I WANNA BE A MALE” but it doesn’t work like that. I don’t want to go through the struggle of dealing with dysphoria, so that’s why Vixel is male, albeit a femboy, and why I want to be him.
hopefully this makes sense??