Austin joined the Marines because he always wanted to be a part of something bigger than himself. He’s got the look of small town boy with clear blue eyes and freckles from head to toe. He just got back from Afghanistan where he helped to capture some enemy commanders. The handsome Marine plops himself on the couch and immediately unbuttons his camouflage shirt before reaching into his pants. As his hand glides gently up and down beneath his underwear, he stares across the room. Yanking his pants lower with his left hand, he pops out a massive pink boner nestled in a mass of reddish-brown pubic hair. As the room warms up, he strips off his shirt to allow the air to cool his developed, freckled peeks. After a bit of time working on his thick meat, he eases his pants down to his boots. The fur on his white legs creates a soft glow of red. With his stiff dong poking him in the tummy, he reaches down and peels off his boots and completely strips off his pants. Kneeling briefly, his ass cheeks clenched, the soldier continues choking his pink snake. Finally settling onto his back, his body tenses and his neck flushes. He grunts enthusiastically and spews gobs of cum onto his pale abs.
— 

HELLO FRIENDS, I’M GOING TO TEACH YOU TO MAKE THESE DELICIOUS SPICY MOTHERFUCKERS.

I saw this recipe for jalapeno bites that was basically just a brick of cream cheese and a can of jalapenos shat out onto some dough, so I decided I could do better than that. Here’s how you do this shit right.

GET YOUR SHIT:

  • Jalapenos.I used the pickled kind that comes in a can. Got that nice vinegary twang to ‘em. Mmm, yeah.
  • Cilantro. Classy-ass fresh herbs. You deserve it.
  • Cream cheese. Two bricks of it.
  • Shredded cheese. The Mexican blend.
  • Crescent roll dough. Two tubes. Pillsbury even makes it without the perforation just for this kind of shit. A+ for promulgating laziness. Ain’t nobody got time to make that shit from scratch.

DO THE THING:

  1. Throw your jalapenos in a food processor with a handful of cilantro. Decide if you want this filling chunky or smooth, then pulse the shit out of it ‘til it’s the texture you want.
  2. Throw your cream cheese in a mixing bowl. Whip it up a li’l bit. Blend in your jalapeno/cilantro mush to taste. Mmm. Delicious.
  3. Get your shredded cheese. Add 1/2 to 2/3 of the bag. Also give the whole mix a nice big pinch of salt. Mix it all together.
  4. Lay out a nice big square of plastic wrap on your counter. Make sure it’s big enough for one of your tubes of dough to fit on, or else you’re gonna have a problem. Unroll one of the tubes of dough onto your plastic wrap. Slather that baby with some of that fuckin’ delicious cheese mix.
  5. Once your whole thing of dough is covered in that tasty tasty cheese, roll all that shit up. Go the short way (that will make a longer, thinner roll rather than a shorter, fatter roll). Wrap that baby up with the plastic wrap. Repeat 4 and 5 for your other dough.
  6. Throw both them bitches in the freezer overnight. Let ‘em set up good and hard.
  7. Preheat your oven to 350F. Get your delicious rolls of heaven out of the freezer. Chop ‘em up into 1/2 inch thick medallions. Lay ‘em out on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Let those bitches thaw a bit before throwing ‘em in the oven.
  8. Bake until at least the outer dough is raised and browned on the edges, and the cheese is scrumptiously toasted looking.
  9. Let rest for a few minutes so all that magical jalapeno and cheese goodness can get its shit in order.
  10. Eat the fuck out of your delicious creation.

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pixelcurious replied to your post:pixelcurious replied to your post:pixelcurious…

Thanks, I think I’ll order some samples! :)

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You won’t regret it! It may take a while to get used to using a bar instead of liquid but it’s worth it~ You would be advised to use a type of alcoholic vinegar rinse afterwards for de-tangling and if you live in a hard water area, just plain old white wine vinegar is good!

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2014.08.09 Pohang Fish Market

After perusing the museum we decided it was time to eat lunch. We had Pohang’s famous 물회 (literally water, raw fish). A bunch of raw fish with seasonings, it comes dry in the bowl and then you add the magic sauce (which is an icy, spicy, vinegary concoction) and it’s just so delicious. If you’re a monster you add rice and/or noodles to it later too!

After lunch we went to the crazy seafood market. I couldn’t take many pictures because it was raining and it was so crowded… but the thing that remains clearest in my memory was how fresh it all was. Everywhere I looked various sea creatures where trying to jump out of their baskets, particularly the squids. I even saw freshly butchered whale for the first time ever… my polka dot shoes got really battered up on this day >.< After eating so much at lunch, we remarkably left the market with a bag full of more raw fish!

Do you know the TS from when Nicole was laughing on the couch and her face turned bright red and Hayden is holding her? It was shown on their showmance segment

It’s near the end of this:

7/9/14  4:27 PM 1/2     Hayden says he’s eaten healthy all day.  ”I haven’t eaten any shit!”  Cody says that’s rule #3:  Always curse.  Hayden says he forgot the rules already.  Amber says one of them was always pick on Nicole.  He goes through the rules and says the Nicole rule is #1.  The others tell him the one about the shower is the #1 rule, so he puts the Nicole rule at #2.  Victoria’s telling Nicole about the slop dessert she made and Hayden’s just watching Nicole and smiling.  He says he liked it.  The vinegary smelling nail polish comes up and Hayden says he got blamed for it.  Nicole says it’s because he doesn’t shower.  He showered last night.  Frankie does his zombie act.  Nicole gets scared and runs from the couch she’s on to sit next to Hayden.  Frankie climbs on her and she freaks out and grabs Hayden.  He gives her a hug.  (The one from the showmance segment.)  He says she literally ripped his nipple off.  She didn’t know it was going to be that good.

#NYFW - To Grant or not to Grant?

Today backstage at one of my shows they had pickles! There’s few things I love more than a good pickle. #nomnom What I didn’t enjoy was the kind of pickle I got into as I was chomping down on that green vinegary goodness.

One of the makeup artists approached me with a “model release form”. It was a page of legal jargon.

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disappointments:

01.  when you buy a jar of pickles only to open it and discover that they aren’t crisp with that satisfying salty-vinegary taste you wanted.

02.  when you get a meatball hero and the meatballs are soft and bland instead of hearty and meaty.  and when the meatballs are so big as to be unmanageable, thus also throwing off the proper ratio of meatballs to cheese and sauce.  (the best meatball sub i’ve had is still from north beach, san francisco.)  (as well as the best focaccia.)  (i miss san francisco; it’s been a while since i’ve been.)

03.  when you pick up a book you were excited for but it’s like the author’s only telling you a series of events and happenings instead of digging into the wonderful tension and conflict and anxiety that’s sitting right there for the taking.  the novel (as a narrative form) lets you burrow into people’s heads and delve into the overwrought neuroses all people have in their own unique ways, so it’s quite disappointing when there are these delicious treasure troves of [what is essentially] panic just waiting to be exploited, only to go unexplored and altogether avoided.  sigh.  i’d rather hate a book than be disappointed by it.

My starter is still really slack.  It really does have a strong Sour Dough smell.  Not vinegary but really like a good bread.   It’s got a few bubbles but no real rise or fall.  I’ll probably have to feed it longer than I initially thought because of the altitude and the dropping temperature.  The smell is telling me the bacteria is cultured properly.  I’ve done two feedings so far.  I’ll probably have to do 5-8 more feedings before I start seeing the yeast get stronger.   

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