Don’t talk. Let me think it over.
How we’re gonna fix this
How we’re gonna undo all the pain
"Hey." You greeted him, flashing him that warm, big and loving smile you’ve got so good at faking. "Hey." He replied, not as cheerfully as you did but you didn’t mind. He couldn’t even bare to fake the feeling of happiness, he wasn’t happy to be here. He kissed the top of your head and you faked a smily sigh. You both were so glad to not have to fake a sincere kiss again.
You shifted your body to let him in and he took a few steps into the living room, letting you close the door behind him. You didn’t want to see him tonight, but if you had said no, he would’ve used it as an argument in one of your numerous fights. At least he wouldn’t be able to use this one in the fight that was surely going to occur tonight.
Your indifference for each other was so obvious, but at the same time it wasn’t spoken, so you both thought unspoken meant nonexistent. You don’t know how you ended up here, but you know you can’t walk back to the old days. You’re both sitting here, on your couch, close to each other to fake affection, you eyes glued to the TV, watching some annoying soap opera. The death of your love could be heard over the sound of the TV, and it looked like Luke finally heard it.
Without a word, he grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, a way to catch your intention. You snapped your head at him. “We have to talk.” He tried to sound soft and gentle. “Sure.” You replied, not even curious about what he had to say. You weren’t even sure to be listening to him. “It’s easy for me to do that… you know.” He trailed off and you didn’t react so continued. “I want to break up with you.” The words were said, that was it. You’re officially over. What was that thing you were feeling? Relief?
You took in a deep breath. “Okay.” Was alk you could say. It didn’t move you, it didn’t had any impact. You weren’t expecting that but you weren’t surprised, or sad. “You don’t look that surprised.” He said, trying not to sound disappointed. He wasn’t. He didn’t mind you not crying, he’s glad you’re not hurt. “I think we’ve been both lying to ourselves. We broke up long time ago.” You replied, looking back to the TV.
Tell me. Is it even worth it?
"We don’t love each other anymore." He nodded. "All we do is fight." He nodded again. "We tried." You concluded. "Turned out it wasn’t worth it." He whispered. You sat in silent for a while, thinking about nothing. "I guess I’m gonna leave then." He got up. "Yeah…" You mumbled, getting up as well. You escorted him to the door until he was standing in the doorway. "I guess it’ll be better if we just… cut down the bridges." You weekly nodded. "Goodbye." You whispered.
He was free now. Walking away from your house, he seemed to be cracking a small, weak smile. No more fights, no more ‘I hate you’s, no more angry thought at the sight of you waiting for him, no more period over sensitivity. Hands his his pockets, he walks away from the problems.
No more jealously, no more yelling, no more drunk aggressiveness, no more alcohol. Gosh he was gone, finally. You seemed to be cracking a smile as you walked back to the couch. No more going out for tampons because of you being too lazy to buy it in advance, no more having to deal with your mother that hated him, no more having to deal with you wanting him to call you everyday, no more girlfriend shit.
No more seeing you’re morning hair.
No that was kind of cute so he shook his head. No more hot chocolate dates, he hated hot chocolate. But he didn’t kind of like seeing you grabbing the hot cup with both of your tiny little hands and just close your eyes and feel the warmth so… no, that wasn’t a good example. No more hearing you sleep talking, that little voice of yours in your sleep was just so… so… cute! Oh no that wasn’t a good one. He slows down.
Well that didn’t matter, all of this was gone now. But something was bothering him. Was he… like… kind of… maybe… going to like… miss all of this? The tear falling from his eye fell on the ground, making him freeze, as if it drew some kind of finish line: should he cross it or no?
No more of his smelly morning smell, no more of his awful cooking skills, no more of his annoying possesivity, no more of his loud, dirty and disgusting burps, even if you enjoyed burp competitions with him. Finally all of this was over. This was a brand new start for you. You had to leave him in the past. You grabbed your phone and searched for his number in your contacts.
No more him trying to do your hair, he was always ruining it… but he always tried his best, sticking his tongue out as he would concentrate on tying your hair into a ponytail. No more him telling you not to wear make up. You could put on make up whenever you wanted! Who did he think he was?! But… he would always tell you you were beautiful. Delete.
His feet were now moving without him controlling them, he was pushed, dragged. Fuck . He had to be faster. He was running. Running back to your morning hair, running back to your tampons, running back to your sleep talking. Shit. He had to be there before you slipped away. Faster.
No more of him wanting to have sex with you every day. Faster. As much as he was annoying, he always made you feel wanted. Delete? Almost there. Your thumb went down on the ‘Yes’. You had to do this before your love for him comes back. A tear filled your eye, overflowed and ran down your cheek before it fell on the screen of your phone, pressing the ‘No.’ Your thumb went down again. Press it Y/N.
A knock at your door caught your attention, making you snap yourr head to the door. You opened the door to find the tall figure of Luke standing proud, breathing heavily. Before you could register anything he violently smashed your body on his chest, hugging you as tight as possible.
Even though my desire is gone I swear my heart is never giving up. You’re the reason the only reason.
He didn’t want you to see him cry, and he didn’t want to let go. If he trusted himself he would hug you so tight that he would break you into little pieces. He was mortified a the thought of being separated from you. “I can’t…” He sobbed, letting his voice Crack and the tears fall. These 5 minutes without you being his reason were the most difficult experience he has ever lived.
"You came back…" You sobbed, bursting into tears as well and hugging him back, as hard as you could. "I… I’m… You… fuck…" He couldn’t bring himself together, but he needed you to know how much he loved you, how he wasn’t going to let go, how hard he was going to try to make things better. "Don’t talk." You whispered. "We’re gonna fix this."