It's all in the air now.

Well I ask myself everyday why do I care so much about you? and i never seem to find a answer to that question. Maybe it was because you are like the perfect girl in my eyes or maybe because i would have gave it all just to see you happy. But I might seem perfectly fine with the fact that we’re just friends but in reality it’s not that simple. I love you and probably always will, that’s why i’d rather be just your friend and not lose you completely. But what bothers me the most was how we ended… You said word for word “Its,just a break” then a week later your asking me “oh when did we break up” Like really? You couldn’t even tell me to my face it was officially over between us, even though you the one telling me if i ever get tired of you to just come out and tell you in person. I care way to much about you and how your doing,but you seem perfectly fine without me,which makes me think all of “us” was nothing. I always put up a front when i’m with you smiling and trying to be myself but the truth is, If it came down to it i wouldn’t be able to look you in the eyes without thinking about everything we use to be.I question all the times you’ve told me you love me, I question all those times we spent the whole day together… There’s not a thing i don’t question about what we had. But we will never happen again and i’m fine with that fact. Because you completely happy without me so why should I even bother trying to see if we could work out again? You always tell me how all these other guys always flirt with,how they want to get with you and all this other stuff. But do you really need to tell me this. You know i still about you, it might not seem like a big deal to you but it is to me. And i really don’t mind being your friend and all but, But I find it SO awkward,you make it awkward. I can’t even hug you without feeling like i’m doing something wrong. When i ask you to hangout all you tell me is “i’ll try” and when you want to hangout with me you always end up leaving me hanging. You don’t understand,some people tells me i’m a idiot for thinking your gonna come back to me, they always tell me “If she would really wanted things to work out she would have at least tried to work things out, she’ll realize one day then your not gonna be there for her” but the thing is I am and idiot because i don’t believe that but as the days go by and days turn to nights i start to believe it you don’t care about what we us to be because “us” is just a word now were just friends nothing more. But all in all people say “Never give up on something you love” well i guess i’m starting not to love you anymore because i’m not gonna continue fighting this battle that i will never win.