Not too long ago, I had a post on Cheeseburgers in a can and how weird that was. Well, I’m not the only one who felt the same. The thing is, that there are weirder things that have been canned. This whole chicken with weird goop is one of them.
If you ever wanted more proof that most men don't care about women my boyfriend of 4 years just told me in his "perfect world" I would have another man attempt to rape me every day just so he can come in at the last second and save me every time. When I asked why he would subject me to such traumatising events every day he said, "Babe, I would be saving you. I'm the hero & you'd love me more". We're not together any more. They just don't get it. Love your blog too.
While this is awful and appaling, it’s not at all uncommon. Your ex-boyfriend had a typical male power fantasy, where he gets to subjugate other males and win a woman as a prize. This kind of fantasy is spoon fed to them since they’re really young, by all kinds of media. Just look around and see how many movies and games, and even cartoons for young children, have plots based on a male defeating another male and taking a woman as a prize. It’s the classic “Damsel in Distress” trope.
Anita Sarkeesian, the scourge of doritos-covered sexist nerds everywhere, made threeexcellentvideos covering specific iterations of this trope in video games. In these videos, she explains in detail how men are taught to see women not as peers, other human beings with a full range of emotions, but as interactive objects that will provide them with rewards (sex, affection, domestic labor) once they secure them from other males. Still quoting Sarkeesian, “In the game of Patriarchy, women are not the other team. They are the ball”.
This is exactly the kind of mindset your ex-boyfriend had. In his fantasy, he would win the “game” by defeating another male, probably by inflicting physical violence on him, and take you as a prize. This would make him feel more masculine, because masculinity is based on constant competition between all men, and in his mind it would also make you be grateful to him, because he didn’t consider you as a human being capable of trauma and mental distress, but as a damsel he must rescue, a princess in the tower that he, the mighty knight in shining armor, would yank away from her captors.
I’m just glad you’re not with this delusional piece of shit anymore.
The first four rounds of the AFL season have brought into
sharp focus just how cheeky Melbourne’s request for a priority draft pick was
At the time, Melbourne going to the AFL with cap in hand was
reminiscent of Oliver Twist famously asking Mr Bumble for “more”.
The difference was Oliver was actually starving and in dire
need of extra sustenance in the form of some unappetising gruel.
Melbourne, on the other hand, were choking on caviar and
lobster in the form of some of the country’s best young talent and then had the
audacity to ask for filet mignon!
And now that the Demons have been one of the most impressive
teams of 2015 to date, with convincing wins over Gold Coast and Richmond, a
hard-fought loss to Adelaide and a defeat to GWS after squandering a 33-point
lead, Oliver would have looked less bold asking Mr Bumble for part ownership of
the workhouse where he laboured than Melbourne did asking for extra draft
At the time of their request, Melbourne had on their list
five top-10 picks in Dom Tyson, Christian Salem, Jimmy Toumpas, Jack Watts and
Jack Trengove, another three first-round picks in Nathan Jones, Jack Grimes and
Lynden Dunn, Jesse Hogan - who would have been a top two pick in the 2013 draft
if he wasn’t picked up in the 2012 mini-draft - and Jack Viney, who also would
have been a top-10 pick if the Dees didn’t recruit him under the father-son
rule in 2012.
The Dees were also two months away from using pick two on
Christian Petracca and pick three on Angus Brayshaw.
Some of you might say that Watts and Trengove haven’t
exactly turned out to be champions but that’s too bad. They were both top-two
picks in their respective drafts and Melbourne weren’t the first club and won’t
be the last club to be ‘dudded’ with high draft picks.
They also screwed up a host of top-21 picks in the
previous decade with Lucas Cook, Tom Scully, Jordan Gysberts, Luke Tapscott,
Sam Blease, James Strauss, Cale Morton, Addam Maric and Matthew Bate all
departing the club for a variety of reasons after failing to have a meaningful
It wasn’t as if Melbourne hadn’t already been given a chance
to get their house in order and no club should be “rewarded” for a clear case
of poor player development.
Fast forward to 2015, and it’s the likes of Jones, Tyson,
Viney, Salem, Hogan and Brayshaw who have played pivotal roles in Melbourne’s
best start to a season in four years.
Even if Melbourne’s stockpiling of talent wasn’t a factor
considered by the AFL Commission as it was making its decision on whether or
not to hand the Dees another priority pick, Melbourne’s argument was still
Last year was coach Paul Roos’ first season at the helm and
in that time he doubled the Demons’ win tally from two in 2013 to four in 2014
– in raw numbers that was a 100% improvement.
And of Melbourne’s 18 defeats last year, 11 of them were by
33 points or less.
In the previous two seasons under Mark Neeld and Neil Craig,
only 10 of Melbourne’s 38 losses fell in that margin range.
The Demons, while admittedly starting from the lowest base
imaginable, experienced a sharp increase in competitiveness under Roos and
there was no reason to suggest at the end of 2014 that, along with the shrewd
recruiting of mature-age talent, that wasn’t going to continue on into this
And so far so good.
Yes, it is a long season and Melbourne will no doubt
experience some kind of drop off in output at some point.
But based on their endeavour so far, a realistic aim for the
Dees would be to double their win tally again in 2015 and achieve eight
victories by season’s end.
So make no mistake, Melbourne’s priority pick request was
But luckily for the Demons, unlike Oliver’s punishment which
saw him paraded through the streets by Mr Bumble who was yelling “boy for
sale”, the AFL just politely knocked back their request and left it at that.
Whether or not that was because the AFL knew there would be
no realistic buyer for the Melbourne Football Club is yet to be determined.
by Ronny Lerner
Ronny is a former Jean-Claude Van Damme stunt double.
Can you spot the maggots? The Food and Drug Administration legally allows 19 maggots and 74 mites in a 3.5-ounce can of mushrooms. Ditch the cans, if you’re going to eat maggots then you deserve them on the best, freshest mushrooms.
I’m nearing the end of day one in the Live Below the Line challenge and my head is pounding.
My headache is not caused by hunger: it’s caffeine withdrawal. I ditched coffee at work several months ago, but a couple of mugs of tea is an unwavering part of my morning. I didn’t really think I’d notice it, but the dull ache in my skull is evidence to the contrary.
Breakfast was a rather unappetising bowl of thick, bland porridge.
‘Why not just add a bit of sugar?’ my colleague asked.
'I can’t afford it,’ I replied, glumly.
The morning was made rather more challenging thanks to a pile of chocolate that a colleague returning from Peru kindly brought back to the office. I moved the stash to the opposite end of the room.
Lunch was much more positive and I very much enjoyed my chickpea and sweet potato curry with rice. It was filling and it’s only now - at 4.30pm - that I’m beginning to feel a bit peckish.
The headache has lasted most of the afternoon and I’ve felt sluggish and tired. I have been drinking plenty of water, though, and hot water has helped warm me up on an unusually chilly day in the office. It’s no cup of tea, though.