ugly-sobbing-forever

2

The thing to decide is what kind of monster to be. The kind who builds towns or the kind who breaks them.

send me a ✿ and i’ll generate a number

5 ) eyelid kiss

                                    He can’t,   he can’t,   he can’t ———

Stiles repeated the words over and over again in his head, like the more he thought them the more strength they would have, like if he could only convince himself of the sincerity of them they could actually turn out to be true.

                                                      It had to be a dream.

                                        A nightmare.

                  The darkness rearing it’s ugly head again, just like countless nights before.

Stiles ran faster, but there was no way he could make it in time. Scott and Derek were absorbed in the fray around them, unable to pay attention to anything else but saving their own asses in that moment. Stiles didn’t look to them for help, couldn’t take his eyes off Peter.

                                 He was too far away and Stiles was dying with the need to reach out and brush the                                                                                 matted hair away from his face, touch his cheek, anything.

The burn in his legs wasn’t even a blip on the register as his body almost seized, Stiles was surging head first into a panic attack as he sprinted across the field to where Peter lay. It took a lifetime to reach him.

Skidding to a stop over the wet ground, Stiles fell over himself succeeding is smearing mud and grime all over his torso and arms as he scrambled into a kneel. Peter was too bloody to comprehend, his insides shined in the light of the moon and made Stiles’ stomach churn with sickness. 

                                                            He wasn't moving.

                                        “Peter.. Fuck you Peter, look at me!” 

No one seemed to hear Stiles screaming as he knelt over Peter’s still body. There wasn’t anyone to come help calm him, like Peter would. There wasn’t anyone yelling his name, telling him to take cover, like Peter would. There was no one without Peter.

                                                    “Please, please open your eyes, Peter…”

This time his words were only a whisper as his chest constricted so tight he was sure he would hear the snap of ribs any second.

                                                                  Peter’s eyes remained closed.

With blood covered hands, Stiles caressed his lover’s cheek, leaving grimy streaks in the wake of his fingers. Peter didn’t stir.

                                                                            Peter wasn't breathing.

Leaning down, Stiles let his body shake with unvoiced sobs as he pressed his lips to Peter’s eyelids, first one and then the other. He pressed his lips to Peter’s warm forehead, to his blood covered cheeks.

                                                                                                                                    “I’m so sorry———— I love you.”

Because time stops for someone who can’t remember and runs from someone who can’t miss the last train home
— 

So i just read “Anterograde Tomorow” by Changdictator and i was a complete crying mess, ugly sobbing, leaking -whole kind of crying you could say- until my eyes were red and swollen. Though i just started crying in first quarter part of chapter 3 where Jongin missing for a few weeks taking all post-its and teared scrapbook’s page with him, leaving Kyungsoo with no trace of him to remember -even the slightest part- their endless meetings and introductions. I ended up crying like broken-hearted. Having memories and able to remember all feelings even the most hurt one is such a blessing, right? :’) because you get to live and move on, learn new meetings and eventually accepting someone new into your life. Not waking up to every morning with the same memory as yesterday. keep going on the same loop all over again, yet we have no clue about it so we just go through the same routine everyday, keep asking the answered question, keep redoing the introduction with our loved one. that would be just.. painfully sad and tiring

so my brother hasn't returned my copy of the golden lily yet

and I was basically reaching out to the sky screaming whyyyy because I need it back now

reread ALL THE SYDRIAN SCENES a;sldkjfsl

oh god I see all of these theories about how Sydney’s gonna end up at a re-education centre and I’m like SHIT son that makes sense. There’s so much foreshadowing leading into that direction BUT NO

I don’t want it to happen why can’t my babies just be happy and perf together

so many sydney/adrian feels 

actually so many sydney feels because she is just the kind of heroine I’ve been looking for - smart, resourceful, logical. I think that’s what I didn’t like about VA; I never connected much with Rose’s brashness and impulsive tendencies and most of the time I just facepalmed at the things she said

but no of course I’m not gonna forget about MR IVASHKOV over here yes you are so much better with sydney because she inspires you to do better and the way he called her out for her insane dieting and body self-esteem issues YES FINALLY SOMEONE NOTICED as;ldkjfslj 

my babies being so good for each other sob

why is the indigo spell coming out in 2013

WHY

why would you do this to me

i hate you richelle mead

anonymous asked:

I read very late about i'm in love with minho aaaaand how we all love him and i have to remember you why Jjong is your bias .. is because of: minogoo(.)tumblr(.)com/post/63803832625 This! patefist(.)tumblr(.)com/post/68579937383 This mrkimm(.)tumblr(.)com/post/65778703116/ive-no-words-to-explain-when-people-ask-about aaaaaaaaaaaand this ablazedays(.)tumblr(.)com/post/63282097936 ah! don't forget "Y si fuera ella" :D

*sobbing violently* I love Minho I love Minho I love my beautiful prince BUT WHY DO I LOVE THAT DINO MORE?????

WAE WAE WAE YOU DO THIS TO ME??????? 

*dies* the first one….omf his mouth I just can’t ;A; and Y SI FUERA ELLA THATS NOT FAIR ANON - JJONG FEELS ARE DANGEROUS AND LIFE THREATENING TO ME!!

Fuck it!! Fuck it!!! *hides behind Minho*

~ Admin R

The Concert

I feel like I have a head cold. I can barely hear myself or others speak, have a cough that sounds like a seal, and have a stuff nose. I have bruises bigger than golf balls all over my legs. My feet are covered in blisters. I ache all over.

I would gladly suffer all this again.

I just went to my first concert ever, and it was one of the best experiences of my life. It made me so incredibly happy. Yes, I stood for four hours squished up against other people for so long my skin was sensitive the entirety of the following day, but I didn’t care. I went to Super Show 5!

The concert was so loud that I still haven’t regained my hearing. My body reacted like I had a cold - my nose is runny and stuffed and my throat itches and I can hardly hear anything.

The picture up top was taken by my friend Caitlin, who went to the concert with me. I don’t have any because taking pictures wasn’t allowed and at least 5 girls around me got taken (sometimes dragged) out of the venue for using their cameras. I played it safe.

But I got to see my favorite band in the entire world. They even performed my favorite song in the entire world, which they hadn’t performed since 2009. (It’s here if you want to take a listen!)

If they come to the US (they’re embarking on a world tour), I will find some way to go again. I’m still reeling from the fact that I saw them, I actually saw them! And heard them sing! I still can’t believe it.

The concert itself was four hours long and so so so phenomenal. They had intense music and happy music and silly music (there were super hero costumes and cross-dressing at one point. lol Asia). They did a dance cover of Harlem Shake which was craaaaazy and Eunhyuk and Donghae took off their shirts 15 feet away from me (I HOPE YOU READ THIS KELLY LOL). Here’s are pictures to give you an idea:

Gotta love the fake tatoos….? whatever it was glorious.

And here’s an example of the cross-dressing. Yes, that is a 27 year old man making a better girl than I do.

oh Sungmin.

All in all it was probably one of the happiest days of my life. I didn’t take any of these pictures, but it’s awesome to be able to see these and videos and stuff and be able to say “I remember that!” or be able to point one where I am in relation to the angle at which the picture was taken.

I NEED to go to this show again!